5 Ways to Love A Soldier

“She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a sword.” ~Atticus

1. Have a Flexible Job

A job which will permit you to fly anytime, when the need arises. (ie when he needs you, or when he simply misses you).

This might sound crazy to other people who are outside the military world; because they think it’s kind of absurd when you start to prioritize your partner over your career (no matter how you try to explain  your situation, they can’t understand, or may I say, they won’t understand, so stop explaining yourself LOL). Yes, at first, it is. You may even feel you are depriving yourself of a better career opportunity or so, but don’t get me wrong when I say, “flexible work,” what I meant was to look for a job which will give you more time to visit him. I know, it isn’t ordinary, people may even roll their eyes, but, it’s a part of loving a man in uniform. It’s not crazy, it’s selfless.

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2. Be Supportive of His Dream

I’ve been in a military relationship for more than 7 years now, but believe it or not, sometimes, I couldn’t get myself to be supportive of his dream (becoming a Military Officer). To be honest, when he was still in PMA, I somehow hoped that he will change his mind or he will be discharged (Haha sorry naman, but I really hoped nung kumuha siya ng Physics Removal’s Exam niya noon, I wished hindi na lang siya pumasa). I’m sorry if I am saying this right now, because, sometimes, it’s hard to be supportive when you know that his first priority is his job. This means he will not bend for what you want, even if what you only want him to do is to come home every single day after a tiring day from work–like most regular husbands do (when you get married).

But here you are still loving him, despite his dream of serving the country and leaving you home to protect and make other families safe–even if it means leaving yours unattended. It’s difficult and a bit sad, but you have to be supportive, because remember, you are his strength.

3. Be Selfless

I couldn’t explain #2 when I won’t involve the value of SELFLESSNESS, right? LOL I told you I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that the man I am going to be with for the rest of my life is going to be away from home/from me for the rest of his career. But thinking from a different perspective, I am with a person who is very devoted to his goals and dreams, that he chooses to forget about his own comfort and chooses to serve the Nation instead.

What I could do right now is to support him and to not be selfish. I know, I only think about myself, I only think about our future family, our unborn children who will not have the privilege to grow with their Dad, but I know for a fact that I can do something. There are a lot of women out there who could take my place, but luckily, I am one of the chosen few to be in the “Silent Ranks.”

Instead of weeping, or feeling sorry for our situation, in the future, when we’ll have our own family, maybe I could bring our kids regularly to the Camp so that they could be with their Dad, and my husband won’t miss any milestone of our kids; I could learn to drive his car to take the kids to school or to drive myself to the supermarket; I could learn to manage the household independently; I could take care of his parents, or his family as I take care of my own–I could work double time for us. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I could choose to be strong for us to make it through. Just like him, I should be selfless.

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4. Be Respectful to Him

Love comes naturally, but respect does not. I could say, because as the relationship gets old, you make fun of each other more often, and sometimes, kapag pikon iyong isa, it will lead to serious fight. Lol

Respect is very important to make a relationship solid. NO MATTER WHAT YOU TWO ARE GOING THROUGH, TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT.

5. Build Your Own Empire

This is the most exciting part of being in a military relationship. This is my favorite. <3

As you take the courage to maintain your relationship, you get to be the “man” in the house to decide on what to do with your life. As he is out there fighting the battles unknown to you, you have all the time to find yourself, or find what really makes your heart ignite. Masiyado naman yatang ma-drama, what I mean is, you have all the time in the world to actually do what you really wanted in life. It might seem contradicting to #1, but here in #5, while he is away, you can do whatever you want to do, build a business, continue to graduate school, travel, start a blog, build a new hobby, learn a new interest, learn a new language–as long as it is beneficial or worthy of your time.

The importance of having your “own thing” is to make your own diversion so that you will not feel that you are always “waiting in vain.” Be practical. Don’t just bum around waiting for the next allocation to come. While you are taking care of the kids, or waiting for him, or having a daytime job (which makes you feel inggit when your officemate gets hatidsundo by her Boyfriend vs. your virtual Boyfriend who is in the mountains hehe), do something productive. There is always time. Do your own craft, focus on it like your breathing depends on it. Build your empire. Remeber, you are a Queen, only, your King is away fighting the bad guys–for now.

A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE A GAME OF CHESS. THE QUEEN SHOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HER KING.

Above photo from Lukas via pexels.com

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