The Break-Up Story
Chapter 4: To The Person Who Broke My Heart
Remembering that today is supposed to be our anniversary, admittedly, I feel a little bit of sadness. I was so resentful by the fact that all the uttered words and promises were only turned to lies and total dishonesty. Then again, my heart pounded so hard, with my hands shaking a little bit.
As I was looking for my journal, I passed through my life-sized mirror, and then I saw myself. I’ve gotten a little bit thinner, my eyes are growing old, and each circle has gotten even darker. I passed by the mirror looked at myself with a wooden face. It came to me, I was lost in a sea of nameless faces. What a disaster. Honestly. I need to take care of myself a little bit more.
As I reached for my journal on the topmost part of my shelf, something fell from above, it tapped my head slightly, and down it goes to the floor. It was a picture. It was a picture of us. When there was still “you and me.” ‘Another object to burn,’ I babbled.
I got back to my study table, opened my drawer and found some pieces of stationery I used to write my thoughts on, when we were still exchanging letters. With our picture together, and the stationery aside, the mood of writing you got into me. I just want to let you know everything I’m going through. I don’t have the intention to send it to you, or I might, but I will decide on that later on.
So I started writing…
20XX August 21 Friday1645H
Dear Ex ,
A few years ago, incidentally, we met. Looking back, I never imagined we would ever be in a relationship, because we were only friends then, who enjoyed the company of each other. Then we started a life together, but now, we ended up broken and frail. (I don’t know with you, but honestly, I am really having a tough time right now.)What I could tell you is that I would never regret the day I met you. Because then, I met one great love. I don’t want to conclude that all we have was difficult and bitter moments, because honestly, I really thought you were already “The One,” especially when we were only starting; and everyday we have were only days of bliss.
When we were still together, I dread the thoughts of us separating or breaking apart … before, those were my thoughts of fear, but, right now, it turned into a painful reality. I am not saying that I love the idea of us breaking apart , because even if you cannot see it, I am really just holding on to the idea that I’m going to be okay soon. Every day is a struggle. Every day I keep on convincing myself that it will soon get better. However difficult it is, I’m trying, day by day.
I am writing you this letter because I want to thank you. Thank you for having known you, because I know once in my life, I had the opportunity to experience being with a kind-hearted person like you. Thank you for all the times we shared because for me, those days were the best days, yet. Even if those times will only stay as memories, still, thank you.
Thank you for letting me love you, because I learned how to be selfless. Thank you for breaking up with me because I learned the pain of loss. Thank you for the depth of pain I am experiencing now, because I know it is also the depth of love I could give to the person I will ever love again.
Lastly, thank you for everything. I may not be able to be with you to witness your dreams turning into reality, somewhere beneath the clouds and the mountains, and from a thousand miles away, I will always pray for you so the desires of your heart will be realized.
Even if our relationship has reached its separate crossroads, I know everything happens for a reason.
For everything, thank you.
Above photo fromTobi via pexels.com