“The safest principle through Life, instead of reforming others, is to set about PERFECTING YOURSELF.” -B. R. Haydon
There are times in your life when you stop for a while and you try to assess yourself. Have you become better after all these years? Comparing to the “Past You,” do you think you have improved? Have you become the person you dream to be?
Self-evaluation from time to time will help us get ahead from our older selves and keep us in line with our goals and aspirations. So here is a check list to help us appraise ourselves.
ACCEPTING CRITICISMS POSITIVELY
Remember the time when a certain Teacher back in school tried to correct you and yet you didn’t actually listen because you think she was just mocking you in class? I once taught to students before, and it dawned on me that the only reason why teachers check their students is because they want them to be correct, nothing else. This time is different. Now you think healthy criticisms will make you better and will help you improve your skills in your career. That’s why, you accept them whole heartedly and happily even if sometimes it crushes your bones.
LOOKING DOWN ON A PERSON ONLY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP THEM
“We rise by lifting others.”
When we were younger, social status was so important to us that at least once, we tried choosing our friends from the status they’re in (especially during grade school). As you mature, social status doesn’t matter to you at all. The only time you look down on someone is when you are trying to pull them up; to get in their shoes to better understand them. You only think the best way to help them is to know where they were coming from and try to start from there.
BECOMING EVEN CLOSER TO THE CREATOR
Right now, you believe the indispensable truth that there is a Creator of everything you see in the world. You perfectly know that without His guidance, you will not be able to get by even in a single day or two. You believe that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you know that He is with you at all times keeping you safe and guiding you through the perfect path He prepared for you.
NOT MINDING OTHER’S OPINION OF YOUR CHOICES IN LIFE
I can’t tell tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Ed Sheeran
Now that you have grown maturely, opinion of other people doesn’t matter to you at all especially when you are making your own decisions. Only yours and your love ones’ opinion matter now. That being said, you realize that people will always talk behind your back even when things are done or not. So you just mind your own business instead, and focus your target straight through your goals with a bull’s eye.
TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR OWN MONEY
“The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your terms.”
Now that you know how hard money is earned, you are not easily get carried away when you see a SALE sign posted on the walls of your favorite stores. You prioritise the need to meet your own necessities first, and thinking of saving a bigger amount, before cashing out money to buy your dream Chanel or Fendi bag or that MK watch you kept on seeing since last month. Compared to the past you, right now, you know how important money is and how a single refusal from your “wants” can move mountains if you put it in a good investment. Now you’re thinking of investing some amount of money for the future and you’re also considering long-term goals, even excited about joining retirement plans.
CELEBRATING YOUR FAMILY’S UNIQUENESS
Before, when you see a happy, well-heeled family, you know from your heart you also want your family to be like that, and you get so envy you over compared your own family’s capability of providing for your needs. But this time is different, you realise the value of your family and you are proud of every effort they make. Now you know how different families are, and you know that no amount of money can buy your own family’s concord. You also know that whatever it is you are doing right now, it is because you have an ultimate goal for your family to jubilate later on.
ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF YOUR OWN SELF
KEEP CALM CAUSE I LOVE TO BE ALONE
Right now, “Me” time is no fuss to you. You even enjoy going to the mall alone, or walking leisurely in the park, or even traveling alone. You don’t have any problem going solo because you have turned into an independent, self-supporting person that you are right now.
TREASURING YOUR OLD FRIENDS & TAKING CARE OF NEW ONES
It takes time and some amount of hurdled hills to know who your real friends are. Luckily, you have your own friends and true enough, you have let time decide whether who’s staying or not. You know how important some minutes of Skype calls compared to long hours of chitchats when you were together. Even if you don’t talk constantly, and you are miles apart, you know from your heart that your friendship has gone through hard times that no amount of distance can separate you.
Open our mind before your mouth.
Right now you believe that the world is changing so fast that almost everyday a breakthrough is being invented. What has been true before, might not be true today. So you become more adaptive to situations right now and you are open to sudden changes. You believe that even if others’ thoughts are not the same with yours, you know how important it is knowing that they have their own intellectuality and you respect it.
MEETING NEW PEOPLE DOESN’T SCARE YOU
Good things happen when you meet strangers
Self-contentment is a thing majority of people believe will help them succeed, but actually, nobody realizes their goals unless they conspire with others. Hence, you know how important it is to become socially active. This time, meeting people is a pleasure. You get more interested by their own stories, rather than bragging about yourself. And when you see them again, you do not remember them by the clothes they were wearing that night but by the depth of conversation you had.
PRIORITIZING OTHERS & LEARNING HOW TO COMPROMISE
Compromise need not mean cowardice.
When you were younger, you believe that the only person you have to satisfy is yourself. So you were selfish and everything you did was for your own sake. This time, you know how important others are as you are, so you learn how to compromise. By this, you got kinder and more generous to other people. You know that you will not always get what you want because others should be placed first before yourself.
Asking yourself “what’s in it for me?” doesn’t matter sometimes because you believe that others have needs, too, so you deny yourself of your wants and needs.. Hence, you became more self-less and compassionate.
ASKING MORE QUESTIONS
Don’t be afraid of the answers, be afraid of not asking the questions. -Jennifer Hudson
I remember my classmate in language class, when he tried to belittle me because I kept asking questions. Later on I think he got his doom when he didn’t actually pass a certain exam. Asking questions will not be a matter of life and death to you right now because you know perfectly that asking questions doesn’t make you less of a person. You do not want to commit mistakes later on so you are just being proactive.
When you choose your behavior, you choose your consequences. -Dr. Phil
You know very well that what you are doing right now will greatly dictate what you will become in the future. So even the slightest detail in your work or a big decision to make matter to you. You know that you are responsible for your own actions and words so you become more careful with what you do and say.
NOT LIVING IN THE PAST
Here’s to the future because I’m done with the past.
Some of us think that we have already moved on from the past, however, little did we know that a small glimpse from the past, frequently thought of everyday means we are still living there. Now, try to reminisce, when was the last time you had a great achievement? Was it when you got your college diploma? Or just recently when you got a promotion? Or the other day when you dined out with your family? Whatever it is that we think is important to us, however big or small, matters. However, when we look back and think that the past is better than today, well, maybe you have to re-evaluate yourself.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Being better than we were before entails a lifetime commitment. It is not a pill which we can take tonight and hola! tomorrow we transform. No. It takes time to learn and change for the better, but one thing is for sure, it will all start from a DECISION.
Above photo from rawpixel.com via pexels.com
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