Howdy, Guys! I’m here again. The question above was asked by our Reader, let’s just call her Miss K. You know what, pagkabasa ko pa lang sa tanong niya, I cringed a little bit. Why? Kasi ito iyong sitwasyon ko 3-4 years ago.
So before I’ll answer the question of Miss K, I just like to share with you my own story.
Year 2011 I graduated from Saint Louis University, sa may Baguio, luckily I passed the Nurses’ Licensure Exam right after I graduated. I was 20 years old back then, while Sancho was a 2nd Class Cadet(same age LOL).
At first, I told myself, hindi ko ‘to pwedeng iwanan during his Cadetship Years sabi ko sa sarili ko, kasi masiyado pa siyang “fragile,” LOL, este ako pala, este pareho pala kaming fragile that time.
Siya, kahit sabihin mong matigas ang katawan niya dahil sa training and all, kahit na sabihin mong nagdaan na siya sa Plebehood and Scout Ranger Training, haha, alam ko deep inside natatakot din siya what he is about to see and experience when he graduates, kasi Volunteer Army siya. Isa pa, bunso iyon, sobrang mahal na mahal siya ng parents niya, siblings niya, and mga relatives niya na parang lahat na lang gagawing madali para sakaniya, ganoon siya ka-baby sa family niya. Totoo ‘to, walang halong biro.
Nakita ko rin kung gaano siya ka-stress sa requirements, na minsan kahit na priv niya, imbes magsine kami or date-date e nasa bahay na lang kami, gumagawa ng mga project niya. (Nakaka-relate ba kayo, Ladies? Cadets?)
So sabi ko, hindi ko pa siya kayang iwan, kasi mamimiss ko lahat ng magagandang bagay at mga challenging na situations na pagdadaanan niya pa sa loob ng Academy, mamimiss ko iyong milestone niya sa career niya. At alam kong kahit kakayanin niya mag-isa, alam ko mas kailangan niya ako sa tabi niya.
So iyon, wala akong na-miss na event sa buong Cadetship niya.. Maiden Performance ng Silent Drill, lahat ng Hop (except Barn Hop kasi nasa Probinsya ako ‘nun) and lahat ng mga Intrams andun ako. Sobrang swerte ko lang sa mga magulang ko kasi supportive sila sa amin, since fresh grad ako gusto nila magpahinga muna ako, at never nila ako sinabihan na maghanap na ng trabaho)
So heto na, dumating na iyong time na grumaduate na siya sa Acad. May bakasyon sya ‘nun I think, pero siyempre he has to spend it with his family, nakakahiya rin naman sabi ko sa sarili ko na andun ako palagi, e hindi pa naman niya ako asawa hahaha. (I have to explain this later, kasi marami siguro ang makaka-relate sainyo dito na during his R&R, he has to be with his family, and siyempre hindi ka pa naman niya asawa so 3rd priority ka lang, 1st duty, 2nd-family niya).
So I gave him space… Maximize muna sa family niya, and nagkita na lang kami the day before his flight to Mindanao, hatid namin siya ng Ate at Kuya niya. Take note, he is from Luzon, and he is Army, so Mindanao talaga siya ma-assign.
Guys, this was the hardest moment of our entire relationship. Iyong pag-alis niya. Iyong pag-iwan niya sa akin. Pakiramdam ko naabandona ako na hindi na niya ako kailangan kaya niy ako iniwan. Ito talaga iyong sobrang sakit na nangyari sa buong buhay ko. Haha That time, we were 22 years old. Isama mo pa iyong 3 months niya sa field, tapos 2-3 times lang siyang naka-message sa akin during his first 3 months in his first assignment.
I was taken a back. Napabayaan ko na nga career ko, iniwan pa ako ng love of my life.
I wasn’t sure what to do next. I’ve given up my time to be with him, my batch mates already had their 1-2 years of hospital experience, others were about to finish their graduate school, and some had left to work abroad.
I had no choice, I should continue to live my life–this time, without him.
First off, hindi ko naman alam kailan siya babalik. Infantry siya, so wala talagang kasiguraduhan kailan siya makakauwi.
So I’ve decided to move on.
Sorry Miss K, napahaba iyong kwento ko. To cut it short, nag-decide ako na umalis, na wala siyang kaalam-alam. Nag-apply apply na ako kung saan-saan para ako rin maka-move on na, since siya, Lieutenant na siya, meron na siyang career, ayokong maging anino na lang niya, sorry Ladies, pero ganun talaga ang naramdaman ko noon… I have to use my wits na to find my own career path… I have to move on, parang siya rin. Naka-move on na siya. Gone are his Cadet Years… At na-stuck talaga ako doon. HINDI NA SIYA KADETE.
When he got his chance to message me (kasi nga laging walang signal during operation), I was actually already packing my things to get ready for my upcoming flight. He was actually shocked. I told him I needed this.
Hindi naman kami naghiwalay hahaha. Pero, he didn’t stand between me and my dreams. He actually supported me. So to cut the story short, nandito na ako. 3 years na rin pala ako dito. Gosh! hahaha
So to Miss K, I know you are stuck between your dreams and his. Your dream is to find yourself abroad, while his is to be with you during his cadet years. First of all, I want to tell you that life abroad is difficult, nahirapan ako, lagi ko siyang inaaway kasi namimiss ko na siya. Walang kwentang pag-aaway lahat ng pinagdaanan namin noon ang dahilan lang kasi namimiss namin ang isa’t isa. Pero it didn’t stop us from loving each other.
If you agreed, siguro ok na rin yun, I think bata pa kayo, you should be prioritising on giving yourselves a chance to find your own niche or career path. You have to complete your individuality, and later on, if you succeeded sa inyong sari-sariling goals in life, you have each other to celebrate your success with, right?
Kung isang concern mo kung anong haharapin mo doon, you’ll never know unless you try sabi nga nila. Pero you are a tough woman, I know you can survive anything, basta kapit lang tayo sa Itaas; at siyempre, hanggat may internet, sinasabi ko sayo, makaka-survive ka. 🙂
Your distance will also try to test your commitment to each other. It will sway you, give you a million reasons to give up, and it will slap your face like a b*tch over and over again. Hehe Mahirap talaga, pero imagine you will be surpassing these challenges, magiging matibay talaga kayo. That no matter what life gives you, sa isa’t isa lang kayo kakapit.
Mag-usap kayo, I think you know already what to do, although you aren’t that 100% sure if it is worth it. But I tell you, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. You have to sacrifice some things in order for you to get what you want, if you think it’s ok to leave him right now, and go home later when he graduates para mas madalas mo siyang makakasama, go ahead. Basta dapat, may iisa kayong anchor, para kahit gaano na kalalim iyong mga pagdadaanan niyo, sa isa’t isa pa rin kayo babalik.
So this is it for now, ladies and gentlemen… Lumalala na yata ang CTS ko hahaha addict lang e no.
All the best,
Above photo from Miss Ron, again, thank you for all your photos, sis! Photo was edited from original
***Their photo is unrelated to the topic***
(If you are interested in contributing your photos, thoughts and what nots, message PMG for more info TYSM!)