How To Avoid Heated Arguments

It’s You & Me VS. The Problem NOT You VS. Me

Since marami sa inyo, Readers natin, ang nagme-message sa PMG dahil sa kanilang mga heartbroken stories, tampuhan, and mga away na nagsimula lang sa “pagka-miss” and all… Tonight, ito iyong topic natin…

HOW TO AVOID HEATED ARGUMENTS

“Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” -Sancho

I am not saying na kami ni Sancho, hindi kami nagdadaan sa mga problema, kasi kung hindi rin kami nagdaan sa mga tampuhan or mga break up stories, hindi kami magiging matibay at aabot sa 8 years hehe… pero iyang nga, ganiyan sinasabi niya kapag inaaway ko siya… “Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” Ang sweet ‘no? Haha Pero hindi iyan sweet ‘pag beast mode ka. LOL

Yes, normal lang magkaroon ng tampuhan… Pero hindi ito ang dahilan para mag-away na kayo. Magtatampuhan, pero magpapatawaran din sa bandang huli. Ganito kasi ‘yan e, kapag meron kayong arguments, lagi niyong titignan iyong sarili niyo objectively, at kung ano ba talaga iyong issue. Hindi iyong, “Ikaw kasi e…” Hindi ganun.. Haha siyempre sa mga Ladies na medyo bagets bagets pa, mapupusok pa ang damdamin, huminahon lang tayo… Huwag na huwag magbibitiw ng masasakit na salita na hindi na natin kayang bawiin.

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Okay, nag-away kayo kasi hindi siya nakapag-reply agad o kaya umalis siya sa kalagitnaan ng heated argument kasi hindi mo alam, baka rin may duty siya di ba o tinawag ng Upper Class or ni Bossing… Minsan kasi nagsisimulang lumala ang isang tampuhan, magiging away, kapag tayong girls, uminit na ang ulo o kaya naman, napikon… hahaha lagi namang ganun di ba.. siyempre babae lang din tayo, marami tayong intensed or extreme emotions.. Hormonal? Lol

Una rin kasi sa lahat, napipikon tayo kasi nga hindi nila nami-meet iyong expectations natin… Arguments start with unmet expectations. Ito observation ko lang sa relasyon namin ha… In-assess ko kasi sarili ko e, madalas kasi akong mainis dati sa kaniya kapag seen lang message ko or kapag may sinasabi ako na parang hindi naman niya siniseryoso, lalung-lalo pa kapag may important discussion kami tapos bigla na lang siyang umaalis ng walang paalam..

Di ba, nakakainis naman talagay iyon? Hahaha… Natanong ko sa sarili ko, napakadaling intindihin naman sana na may trabaho iyong tao, kaya siya biglang umaalis or what… tapos ako bakit ako maiinis? Kasi nga, gaya ng sabi ko, unmet expectations. Ine-expect ko kasi sa kaniya, pakikinggan niya ako, that we’ll discuss things thoroughly ganiyan, o kaya magiging sobrang available siya sa akin, kasi nga, hello, girlfriend niya ako. Iyan iyong mga expectations ko, pero hindi niya nami-meet because of some reasons—reasons na valid naman di ba?

Work With Kim Sancho

Everytime na nag-away kayo, huwag kaagad maninisi. Alamin mo muna kung anong dahilan bakit in the first place, seen zone ka lang, o kaya hindi siya kaagad naka-reply or what.. Sabi nga nila, give the benefit of the doubt... Sige, para sa mga bata pa na hindi masyadong maiintindihan iyan (kasi ako rin noon inaamin ko hindi ko talaga iyan ma-gets haha), ano ba iyong benefit of the doubt? Ito iyong bibigyan mo iyong tao ng “space” para sa mga bagay na “nagawa” na niya na hindi dapat magawa kasi ina-accept mo iyong possibility na meron siyang valid explanation kung bakit niya iyon nagawa–don’t get me wrong when I say, “bagay na nagawa niya” ha, iba pa rin iyong mambabae siya or what ibang usapan na iyon… What I’m trying to say is, iyong mga bagay na nagawa niya na kinasama ng loob mo like seen zone ka, or hindi ka niya natawagan ng ilang araw…

Everytime na darating tayo sa point na mag-aaway, or siya iyong pinaka-nakakainis na tao at the moment, lagi mong tatanungin iyong sarili mo, bakit ka ba talaga nagagalit? Sabihin mo nga sa sarili mo ano na lang ba iyong dahilan na magalit ka na lang ng ganiyan? Kung may point ka naman kung bakit ka nainis sa kaniya, huminahon ka muna bago mo siya kausapin… YOU and HIM versus the problem, NOT you versus him. Ok?

Tignan mo lagi ang situation objectively, ano ba talaga ang nangyari? May reason ba siya na gawin iyon? Nag-sorry na ba siya? Nagpaliwanag na ba siya? Bago ang lahat, kinalma mo na ba iyong sarili mo? Ok kung ok na lahat ng mga iyan, this time, pag-usapan niyong dalawa na parang teammates, ano ba iyong pwede niyong gawin para hindi na iyon mangyari. Pwede bang, i-message ka muna niya bago siya umalis or before hand magsabi na siya na magiging busy ka para kapag naputol ang usapan niyo, alam mo na na busy na siya. Pag-usapan niyo ano ang dapat niyong gawin. Pareho kayong matatalinong tao, at kaya niyo iyan pag-usapan.

OPEN COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy and lasting relationship. Dapat marunong kayong mag-communicate ng feelings niyo sa isa’t isa through words, bakit ka galit, bakit ka nainis, bakit ka masaya, bakit ka in love, mga bagay na sobrang importante.

Kasi sa relationship natin, bihira tayong magkita, kaya kahit na gusto mo na lang sana ay yakapin ka niya para hindi ka na galit, e hindi naman niya iyon magagawa diba? Wish niya lang hahaha… Pinagseseparate kayo ng malayong distansiya e… and since LDR tayo, tandaan mo ‘to, 97percent of Communication is NON-VERBAL. May 3percent lang tayong kailangang gamitin sa tamang paraan para healthy ang relationship natin.. Kasi, iyong part na NON-VERBAL, hindi mo naman iyon magagawa di ba? hehehe so make the most out of the 3percent na natitira which is iyong VERBAL part.

REMEMBER: Bago ka magsalita, huminahon ka muna. Iyan ang totoong Military Girlfriend/Military Wife, laging kalmado iyan.

This is it for tonight, I hope marami kang napulot na lesson sa aking post na ito, paki-tag mo iyong love of your life para ma-open iyong mind niya na meron siyang mga expectations na kailangang i-meet para ikaw laging masaya, haha because remember, Happy Wife (or GF), Happy Life! Lol Para ‘di siya miserable ‘pag inaway-away mo. lol

“Baby, just because we have arguments doesn’t mean I’m going to break up with you. I love you.”

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 above photo from freestocks.org via pexels.com

 

Cadet Dolls: Boon or Bane?

Tradition wears a snowy beard, Romance is always young.

There have been “rumors” about the Cadet Dolls even before we reach the technological advancements we are enjoying nowadays, kahit iyong kopong-kopong pa raw, ay naniniwala na ang mga Cadets and Kaydet Girls dito:

na… JINX daw ang magbigay ng Cadet Dolls sa mga Girlfriends kung Kadete ka… hmmm…

Again, ths was asked by our Reader, Miss G.

Dahil dito, nag-create tayo ng poll, and we ran it for 7 days.

Actually nagulat din ako sa kinalabasan ng poll, hehe…. I didn’t expect ganun na lang ang magiging reaction ng mga Readers natin, they’ve shared their own stories about the cadet doll issue. Again, thank you for participating everytime we do a poll, your thoughts and efforts are deeply appreciated!

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I’ve tried searching the internet if there is a story regarding this “jinx” stuff about the Cadet Dolls, pero wala talaga akong nahahanap, siguro kasi, sa Corps Mag natin ito mababasa sa mga past issues (OoopS! Before I forget, may articles pala ang PMG sa following issue ng Corps Mag ha, abangan niyo, and please, paki-picture and paki-tag niyo ang PMG if ever ha! Pakisabi kay Cadet thanks in advance! hihi)

So here is the picture of our POLL: CADET DOLL JINX OR NOT

With 33 Votes, 52% ang nagsabi na JINX iyon, kasama ang explanation nila kung bakit nga jinx iyon, some of our Readers, dahil hindi naging successful ang kanilang relationship with the Cadet, and some naman, were actually talking about their Husbands’ exes na nabigyan ng Cadet Doll.

48% naman sa ating readers ang nagsasabing, hindi ito jinx kasi nagkatuluyan sila ng kanilang mga Cadet.

Medyo close fight ano? hehe Personally, gusto kong sabihin na, wala naman talagang jinx or what, (first) depende talaga iyon sa relationship ninyo sa bawat isa, I mean kung paano niyo ba talaga i-handle iyong relationship, (second) kapag kayo talaga ang para sa isa’t isa, gagawa kayo ng paraan to stick together no matter what, kahit sandamakmak pa ng jinx na tradisyon ang sinasabi sa mga kwento.

Work With Kim Sancho

Para sa mga nagsasabing may jinx iyon, sa akin kasi, wala akong natanggap na Cadet Doll nung naging kami na. Binigyan niya lang ako nung magkaibigan pa lang kami… or nung nanliligaw pa lang siya sa akin, so safe diba? haha so hindi ko masasabing walang jinx or meron nga dahil nga hindi naman niya iyon binigay sa akin during the relationship.

Pero kidding aside, Ladies, remember this: karaniwan sa mga nagbi-break talaga, kahit hindi pa iyan Cadet, nakikipag-break sila kasi hindi na sila masaya, or hindi ka nila mahal (take it from me kasi na-try ko ring masaktan ng isang Kadete, ehem, if nagbabasa si Sancho nito, ewan ko lang, lol, pero totoo ito, nagkaroon din ako ng unsuccessful lovestory sa isang Cadet at hindi ito si Sancho, I will share this to you kapag natapos ko na iyong Ebook about breakup, entitled: “Ha? Break Na Tayo? Di Nga?!”).

Itong unsuccessful love story ko na ito, iyong guy, hindi niya ako binigyan ng Cadet Doll, hahaha pero tignan niyo, nag-break kami diba? Kasi, hindi kami para sa isa’t isa. Ganun lang talaga iyong dahilan nun.

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Alam ko kasi maraming Readers natin nagmemessage sa akin regarding how to cope with breakup, etc… I feel you, don’t worry, you’ll get by, you’ll be fine, I promise. Isipin mo ha, kung hindi kami nagbreak ng past love ko, edi wala akong Sancho ngayon diba? hehe for sure, mahahanap ka rin ng “Sancho” ng buhay mo, okay?

Para naman sa mga Readers natin na happily married, thank you po. Una sa lahat dahil kayo ang aming mga inspirasyon pagdating sa relationship. Kaming mga girlfriends pa lang ng mga Soldiers and Cadets, sobrang nagnanais din kami na magkaroon ng love story na happily ever after katulad po ninyo, at pinatunayan niyo lang po na after all these things, kayo pa rin naman ni Sir, and ganun din ang alam naming future kasi iyong path na dinaanan nio noon, iyon din iyong path na dinaraanan namin ngayon… Second thank you po kasi you are guiding us in one way or another to actually ease our lonesomeness while our Soldiers are away, kayo nga kinakaya niyo kasama na ang mga proud military kids niyo, paano pa kami? Dapat kayanin din namin diba? Again, thank you.

So Ladies (and Gentlemen),  this sums up the poll. Oo nanalo iyong JINX part pero hindi pa rin iyon ang dahilan kung bakit hindi kayo nagkatuluyan, or pwede rin naman nating i-put iyong blame sa tradition na iyan to ease your pain. Whatever you decide to do, after all, kwento mo ito, and your love story has just begun. Huwag na huwag mong hahayaan na titigil iyong mga matatamis mong ngiti dahil lang sa isang frog, okay? Hehe Tama na… love ka naman namin dito sa PMG. Kaya ok lang iyan ha. <3

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“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.”

6 Challenges Military Wives Experience

Hello again! This time, we will talk about challenges that Military Wives experience. So after ng Cadetship niya, siyempre ma-deploy na sila, and later on, magiging mag-asawa na rin kayo, susulong na rin kayo sa buhay pag-aasawa.

Medyo tough ang topic na ito, so brace yourselves. Hehe

For sure, marami ring readers ng PMG na mga military wives. Question: Mahirap po bang maging Asawa ng Sundalo?

Medyo hindi ako makasagot ng tama sa tanong ng reader natin na iyan, kasi personally, hindi pa kami kinakasal hehehe. Hindi pa ako formally “Military Wife” so if you are reading this, and kung military wife po kayo, please enlighten us.

But first, here are the things na natanong ko sa mga girl friends kong married sa mga sundalo… and if you are a Military girlfriend tulad ko, malamang magandang tip na malaman na natin ‘to ngayon pa lang.

#1 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

When you’re living in another state or country, though, you cannot share these activities with the person you love. You can’t gaze into one another’s eyes and enjoy the pleasures of physical contact, or even share the simple joy of one another’s presence. And depending on the situation, you may not know if or when you’ll be able to see each other again. (from keepinspiringme.com)

A lot of us, especially iyong mga OFW katulad ko, nahihirapan sa communication lalo na kapag walang internet sa bundok o sa field. Sobrang nag-struggle ako sa pagka-miss ko sa kaniya nung bagong salta lang ako sa ibang bansa. Pero isipin mo, hindi na lang ikaw girlfriend, kundi ASAWA ka na niya. Your life and his life ay iisa na. Imagine mo iyan, mapapahiwalay kayo sa isa’t isa kasi nga siyempre sa duty, at sa deployment niya, karaniwan, sobrang layo pa ng assignment niya.

Mahirap minsan tumayo sa isang relationship na pakiramdam mo nag-iisa ka lang. Hehe alam ko iyong ganitong feeling kasi napagdaananan ko na ito noon, hindi ka sigurado kung kayo pa ba, kasi sa tagal na niya sa operation, halos mag-3months noon nung hindi siya nakapag-message sa akin, hindi ko talaga alam kung kami pa ba. Ang hirap lang.

Tapos, ang daming challenges sa buhay mo, tapos wala siya. Parang ang hirap magpakatatag minsan para sa sarili mo, pero ok lang iyon ha, kasi gustung-gusto naman talaga nilang umuwi, hindi lang talaga pwede o agad-agad.

#2 TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS

Siyempre, a big part of building your own family is having kids. Kadalasan, kasama mo ang asawa mo magpalaki ng mga anak niyo, lalo na iyong first time Mom, sabi ng isang friend ko, nahihirapan daw siya kasi sa kaniya lahat ng puyat and all.. Tapos hindi niya alam kung paano o ano ang gagawin kung magkakasakit ang anak, dahil nag-iisa lang siya. Maswerte na rin tayo kung nasa poder pa tayo ng mga magulang natin, o malapit lang sila, so that they too, can take part in rearing your kids. Para hindi sayo lahat ang work.

Iba na rin kasi talaga kapag may mga anak ng pinag-uusapan.. Sa palagay ko, medyo upgraded iyong challenges. Pasensiya na hindi ako makakapag-explain adequately sa bagay na ito kasi hindi ko pa naeexperience, hayaan niyo kapag may anak na ako, sasabihin ko sa inyo… hehe

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#3 BUDGETING and FINANCIAL MATTERS

Yes, admit it or not, kahit good-paying job ang pagiging isang sundalo, at dahil nga meron ka pang pinapalaking baby, hindi ka pa rin magkakaroon ng chance bumalik sa employment so dedepende ka pa rin sa sahod ni Mister. Mahirap iyong reality na ito kasi minsan hindi napapag-usapan, kasi ang sakit sa bangs bes. Haha Ang sakit pag-usapan iyong mga financial matters, iyong mga bagay na dapat talagang pinag-uusapan, hindi na napag-uusapan, iyong mga bagay na dapat ay DISCUSSION lang, nauuwi sa ARGUMENTS, hanggang sa may lilipad na na mga pinggan diyan lol. Pero joke lang po iyong pinggan, hahaha.

Pero sounds about right diba? Kasi iyan din ang sabi ng mga napagtanungan ko, lalo na iyong mga nagsisimula pa lang na military family.

#4 TRAVEL EXPENSES

Bes, ang sakit sa bangs ng abrupt buying of plane tickets, hehe kasi kailangan mo siyang puntahan. Na-try niyo na ba ‘to? Ang gastos ‘di ba? At nakaka-iyak kasi ang mahal ng days-before-your flight plane ticket. Pero walang magagawa kasi nga, ganito ang buhay ng military. Kung kelan ka niya kailangan, puntahan mo siya. Tungkulin mo iyon bilang military wife. Ikaw ang mag-aadjust para sa kaniya.

“ Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”– Thomas Fuller

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan nating magkita. Hehe Kahit masakit pa iyan sa bangs, we have to see each other, kahit gaano pa kalayo ang lalakbayin ko, basta makita lang kita. Ganito kasi dapat ang love, may halong sacrifice.

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#5 UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. -Lauren K. Hamilton

Alam niyo minsan iyong feeling na, kapag mag-memessage ka tapos “seen” lang niya, and kahit alam mo namang busy naman talaga siya sa trabaho or duty, siyempre masasaktan ka rin… Getting real na tayo dito, hindi na ‘to pa-tweetums ha, hehe. Siyempre may mga times na gusto natin na suyuin tayo o damayan nila tayo sa bad day natin, tapos SEEN ka lang, parang sinasabi niya e, “SORRY I’M EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.” Di ba parang ang hirap? Pero kapag naramdaman niyo iyan, i-message niyo na lang ako. Hehe Kasi minsan talaga napagdadaanan natin iyan e.

May mga bagay na na-de-deprive ang mag-asawang military, iyong time nila para sa isa’t isa esp kapag meron talagang mabigat na pinagdadaanan, tapos wala iyong asawa mo na sasandalan mo. Siyempre, mahihirapan ka talaga. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, dapat tatagan ko iyong loob ko dahil Military na ang buhay ko lalo na kapag nag-asawa na.

Remember: Military ang napili mong makakasama habang-buhay. Tapangan mo ang sarili mo. Kasi, sayo siya kukkuha ng strength.

#6 FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

“You don’t just have to die for the people you love, you have to live for them, too.”

Ito na iyong isa sa pinakamasakit tanggapin, iyong takot na mawawala siya anytime. Iniisip ko pa lang, nasasaktan na ako. hehe Pero siyempre hindi natin iyan iniisip na mangyayari, kasi hindi talaga natin alam ano na ang mangyayari sa atin, pero it’s part of what we’ve actually signed up for.

Masakit tanggapin na hindi mo alam kung ano kakahinatnan ng operation nila, kung ano ang haharapin mo kinabukasan, na kapag may tumawag sayo na unknown number, hindi mo gustong iyon na iyong tawag sayo.

Pero kahit merong possibility na ganiyan, e kumapit pa rin tayo sa Itaas. Huwag magpapaapekto, lagi lang tayong mananalangin. Ang Dios na ang bahala sa atin.

Pero, lagi mo ring sasabihin sa kaniya, na hindi lahat ng Heroes nasa Libingan ng mga Bayani, kundi (at lalung-lalo na), iyong mga Sundalong nakakauwi sa kanilang mga pamilya pagkatapos ng lahat ng unos sa field.

And remember… Gustung-gusto na rin nilang umuwi. Imagine mo itong Poem na ito, palagay ko, sobrang ganito ang feeling ng mga Soldiers, na they want to spend the “morning” with their loved ones, too.

Will There Really Be A Morning

Will there really be a morning?

Is there such thing as day?

Could I see it from the mountains?

If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like water lilies?

Has it feathers like a bird?

Is it brought from the famous countries

of which I have never heard?

Oh, some scholar! Oh, some sailor!

Oh, some wise man from the skies!

Please to tell a little pilgrim

Where the place called morning lies!

poem by Emily Dickinson

Above photo from Wyatt Castaneda from pexels.com

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&&The list goes on…. Para sa mga Readers ng PMG na military wives, pwede niyo ba kaming i-enlighten para malaman naman naming mga girlfriend pa lang, kung ano ba talaga ang pinapasok namin? hahaha Please comment or message me kung may maidaragdag pa kayo.

Pero what if…

May paraan pa? What if meron ka pang mahanap na way para mapagaan ang buhay niyong mag-asawa? Kung full-time Mom ka and lagi kang home-based, tapos kay Mister lang naka-depende ang household finances niyo, tapos may malaman kang way para mapagaan ng konti at magkaroon ka ng financial breakthrough, gagawin mo ba? CLICK TO CONTINUE READING…

 

Is It Worth It To Leave My Cadet To Work Abroad?


Howdy, Guys! I’m here again. The question above was asked by our Reader, let’s just call her Miss K. You know what, pagkabasa ko pa lang sa tanong niya, I cringed a little bit. Why? Kasi ito iyong sitwasyon ko 3-4 years ago.

So before I’ll answer the question of Miss K, I just like to share with you my own story.

Year 2011 I graduated from Saint Louis University, sa may Baguio, luckily I passed the Nurses’ Licensure Exam right after I graduated. I was 20 years old back then, while Sancho was a 2nd Class Cadet(same age LOL).

At first, I told myself, hindi ko ‘to pwedeng iwanan during his Cadetship Years sabi ko sa sarili ko, kasi masiyado pa siyang “fragile,” LOL, este ako pala, este pareho pala kaming fragile that time.

Siya, kahit sabihin mong matigas ang katawan niya dahil sa training and all, kahit na sabihin mong nagdaan na siya sa Plebehood and Scout Ranger Training, haha, alam ko deep inside natatakot din siya what he is about to see and experience when he graduates, kasi Volunteer Army siya. Isa pa, bunso iyon, sobrang mahal na mahal siya ng parents niya, siblings niya, and mga relatives niya na parang lahat na lang gagawing madali para sakaniya, ganoon siya ka-baby sa family niya. Totoo ‘to, walang halong biro.

Nakita ko rin kung gaano siya ka-stress sa requirements, na minsan kahit na priv niya, imbes magsine kami or date-date e nasa bahay na lang kami, gumagawa ng mga project niya. (Nakaka-relate ba kayo, Ladies? Cadets?)

So sabi ko, hindi ko pa siya kayang iwan, kasi mamimiss ko lahat ng magagandang bagay at mga challenging na situations na pagdadaanan niya pa sa loob ng Academy, mamimiss ko iyong milestone niya sa career niya. At alam kong kahit kakayanin niya mag-isa, alam ko mas kailangan niya ako sa tabi niya.

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So iyon, wala akong na-miss na event sa buong Cadetship niya.. Maiden Performance ng Silent Drill, lahat ng Hop (except Barn Hop kasi nasa Probinsya ako ‘nun) and lahat ng mga Intrams andun ako. Sobrang swerte ko lang sa mga magulang ko kasi supportive sila sa amin, since fresh grad ako gusto nila magpahinga muna ako, at never nila ako sinabihan na maghanap na ng trabaho)

So heto na, dumating na iyong time na grumaduate na siya sa Acad. May bakasyon sya ‘nun I think, pero siyempre he has to spend it with his family, nakakahiya rin naman sabi ko sa sarili ko na andun ako palagi, e hindi pa naman niya ako asawa hahaha. (I have to explain this later, kasi marami siguro ang makaka-relate sainyo dito na during his R&R, he has to be with his family, and siyempre hindi ka pa naman niya asawa so 3rd priority ka lang, 1st duty, 2nd-family niya).

So I gave him space… Maximize muna sa family niya, and nagkita na lang kami the day before his flight to Mindanao, hatid namin siya ng Ate at Kuya niya. Take note, he is from Luzon, and he is Army, so Mindanao talaga siya ma-assign.

Guys, this was the hardest moment of our entire relationship. Iyong pag-alis niya. Iyong pag-iwan niya sa akin. Pakiramdam ko naabandona ako na hindi na niya ako kailangan kaya niy ako iniwan. Ito talaga iyong sobrang sakit na nangyari sa buong buhay ko. Haha That time, we were 22 years old. Isama mo pa iyong 3 months niya sa field, tapos 2-3 times lang siyang naka-message sa akin during his first 3 months in his first assignment.

I was taken a back. Napabayaan ko na nga career ko, iniwan pa ako ng love of my life.

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I wasn’t sure what to do next. I’ve given up my time to be with him, my batch mates already had their 1-2 years of hospital experience, others were about to finish their graduate school, and some had left to work abroad.

I had no choice, I should  continue to live my life–this time, without him. 

First off, hindi ko naman alam kailan siya babalik. Infantry siya, so wala talagang kasiguraduhan kailan siya makakauwi.

So I’ve decided to move on.

Sorry Miss K, napahaba iyong kwento ko. To cut it short, nag-decide ako na umalis, na wala siyang kaalam-alam. Nag-apply apply na ako kung saan-saan para ako rin maka-move on na, since siya, Lieutenant na siya, meron na siyang career, ayokong maging anino na lang niya, sorry Ladies, pero ganun talaga ang naramdaman ko noon… I have to use my wits na to find my own career path… I have to move on, parang siya rin. Naka-move on na siya. Gone are his Cadet Years… At na-stuck talaga ako doon. HINDI NA SIYA KADETE.

When he got his chance to message me (kasi nga laging walang signal during operation), I was actually already packing my things to get ready for my upcoming flight. He was actually shocked. I told him I needed this.

Hindi naman kami naghiwalay hahaha. Pero, he didn’t stand between me and my dreams. He actually supported me. So to cut the story short, nandito na ako. 3 years na rin pala ako dito. Gosh! hahaha

So to Miss K, I know you are stuck between your dreams and his. Your dream is to find yourself abroad, while his is to be with you during his cadet  years. First of all, I want to tell you that life abroad is difficult, nahirapan ako, lagi ko siyang inaaway kasi namimiss ko na siya. Walang kwentang pag-aaway lahat ng pinagdaanan namin noon ang dahilan lang kasi namimiss namin ang isa’t isa. Pero it didn’t stop us from loving each other.

If you agreed, siguro ok na rin yun, I think bata pa kayo, you should be prioritising on giving yourselves a chance to find your own niche or career path. You have to complete your individuality, and later on, if you succeeded sa inyong sari-sariling goals in life, you have each other to celebrate your success with, right?

Kung isang concern mo kung anong haharapin mo doon, you’ll never know unless you try sabi nga nila. Pero you are a tough woman, I know you can survive anything, basta kapit lang tayo sa Itaas; at siyempre, hanggat may internet, sinasabi ko sayo, makaka-survive ka. 🙂

Your distance will also try to test your commitment to each other. It will sway you, give you a million reasons to give up, and it will slap your face like a b*tch over and over again. Hehe Mahirap talaga, pero imagine you will be surpassing these challenges, magiging matibay talaga kayo. That no matter what life gives you, sa isa’t isa lang kayo kakapit.

Mag-usap kayo, I think you know already what to do, although you aren’t that 100% sure if it is worth it. But I tell you, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. You have to sacrifice some things in order for you to get what you want, if you think it’s ok to leave him right now, and go home later when he graduates para mas madalas mo siyang makakasama, go ahead. Basta dapat, may iisa kayong anchor, para kahit gaano  na kalalim iyong mga pagdadaanan niyo, sa isa’t isa pa rin kayo babalik.

So this is it for now, ladies and gentlemen… Lumalala na yata ang CTS ko hahaha addict lang e no.

All the best,

Kim Sancho

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****

Important Notes:

Above photo from Miss Ron, again, thank you for all your photos, sis! Photo was edited from original

***Their photo is unrelated to the topic***

(If you are interested in contributing your photos, thoughts and what nots, message PMG for more info TYSM!)

Bakit May Mga Kadeteng Hindi Pa rin Makuntento Sa Iisa?

Ay grabe siya oh. Hehe

Guys, eto iyong tanong saakin ng isang reader natin, actually tanong ko rin iyan e.

Meron kasi talagang mga Kadete na hindi na nga Kevin, iba-iba pa ang sim kasi iba-iba ang girlfriends.

I’m totally being honest with you, meron talagang mga Kadete ang ganiyan… I know, kasi may mga Mistah si Sancho na ganiyan…

Naisip ko lang ha, ano ba talagang dahilan kung bakit ‘di sila makuntento sa iba? Eto iyong mga naisip ko, pero baka may gusto pa kayong idagdag:

1. Hindi Siya Masaya Sayo

Sige, oo, sabihin na nating jerk siya kasi naghahanap pa siya ng iba. Pero, isipin mo lang, kung masaya siya at kontento na sayo, bakit pa iyan maghahanap ng iba ‘di ba?

TIP: Huwag na huwag ikakasama ng loob mo na niloko ka niya, magpasalamat ka pa nga dahil nalaman mo agad, habang hindi pa kayo kinakasal, or i mean hindi pa kayo ganun ka-long term, or sorry kung long term na kayo, pero at least, hindi pa huli ang lahat. Nalaman mo agad na ganun siya. Edi hindi na madaragdagan iyong panahon na ginugugol mo para lang lokohin ka niya.

2. Hindi Ka Niya Mahal

Parehong bagay lang naman iyon sa itaas e. E hindi ka nga niya mahal e, bakit siya magko-commit sayo? Sorry harsh lang, pero kung ganitong lalaki ang mahahanap mo, wag ka nang magpatumpik-tumpik, hiwalayan mo na iyan girl. Kapag pinatagal mo pa iyan, hoping na magbago pa siya, pwes, para ka na lang din kumuha ng malaking bato na ipupukpok mo sa sarili mo. Sorry harsh lang.

3. Collect & Select

Guys parang ref magnet lang hahaha. Bakit naman ganun? Tinanong ko nga rin kay Sancho iyan, sabi niya, meron talagang ganiyan na tao, mag-iipon muna sila tapos para wide range ang choices na pagpipilian nila. Kapag ganito ang Boyfriend mo, uulitin ko uli, hiwalayan mo na iyan. Gusto mo bang maging choice ka na lang?

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4. Hindi Siya Committed

Wala lang talaga sa Vocabulary niya ang salitang commitment guys. Bakit ba kasi pinipilit pa nating i-sugarcoat diba? E hindi nga niya gusto sa isang relationship e. Or kung gusto man niya, baka gusto niya iyong open relationship, at kung willing ka rin na ganun ang maging set up niyo, dapat pag-usapan niyo at dapat may informed consent iyan. Hindi lang one way street.

5. Geographical Reason (Nakakaloka Itong Item Na ‘To)

Personally meron akong nakilala guys na isang Kadete, ang dami niyang ebababs na ka-textmate, ka-meet up. Every time na priv, iba-ibang babae ang kasama niya sa SM. Hindi ko na nga lang siya tinanong directly, pero parang nabanggit niya sa akin, “It won’t work anyway.” Kasi nga raw, taga Mindanao siya (guys, hindi lahat ganito, I mean hindi lahat ng taga-Mindanao ganito, pero iyong taong sinasabi ko, taga Agusan Del Norte iyan, totoo iyan ha, true story). 

Sabi niya saakin, “If  ever I had a girlfriend, I have to leave her anyway, kasi taga-South ako. Kung taga-Baguio siya or Luzon, that’s just it.” Para na lang niyang sinabi na girlfriend ka lang niya sa Luzon, or kapag nasa Luzon siya. Grabe! Kakaibang set of values ito guys.

6. Pampalipas Ng Oras

Gusto lang niyang may mag-entertain sa kaniya during his Cadetship Years sa Baguio. Believe it or not, meron talagang ganito.

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Marami pang dahilan kung bakit may mga ganitong Kadete, actually hindi naman related ito sa pagiging Kadete nila, nasa tao iyan. Huwag na huwag nating huhusgahan ang isang profession dahil sa gawa ng ilang tao, hehe. I mean, diba, maraming Kadete or I should say, majority sa mga Kadete ang nakikipag-relationship na talaga namang future na agad ang iniisip, iyong serious agad. Tignan niyo na lang si Sancho. Nakilala ko siya first priv niya right after maging Plebe, ngayong 2018, 8 years na kami. Hahaha. Kami pa rin naman? Ganoon din sa iba naming mga kakilala at mga Mistah niya, Upper Class, at Under Class. Minalas ka nga lang, doon pa talaga sa frog, iyon pa talaga ang nakilala mo. Pero huwag kang ma-sad. Napagdaanan ko rin iyan. Makikita mo rin at makikilala iyong Sancho ng buhay mo. Promise!

This is it for now dahil pang-night duty ako at wala pa akong tulog. LOL

Above photo from Miss Ron. Thanks again, Ron! Anyways, their photo is very unrelated to the topic, going strong sila sa kanilang relationship; photo was edited from the original photo contributed

Read More: 9 Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

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Dearest Kaydet Girl: If He Cheats On You, You Deserve Someone Better!

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

(2018/1/9) I am writing this right now because earlier this morning, a Follower of PMG messaged me and was asking for pieces of advice. I don’t know if you are reading this, but I hope you will, sometime soon.

To give you a little background, she “was” a Kaydet Girl; she just recently ended the relationship with her Cadet Boyfriend, because she found out he was pursuing another girl.

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Sad, right? But actually, even if you think it is sad, that you’ve broken things up with the person you love, I say, you are actually beyond blessed.

Why?

Just imagine yourself with that kind of person. He already has a Girlfriend, but still pursues other women, what a horrible man! I commend you for ending it with him because at some point you will realize, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, after all of your love and sincerity. What if you’ve forgiven him and accepted him, anyway? Chances are, he will do it again. Believe it or not, nagawa na niya dati, magagawa niya uli (He has done it before, he will do it again). I’ve read a lot of books; met a lot of people; heard a lot of stories; and one thing I observed from cheaters: forgive me from saying this, once a cheater, always a cheater. Again, I’m so sorry for saying this. (Please don’t get me wrong, some of them really changed, but majority or almost all of those people I know who cheated from their partners, actually did it again, and this time, to the one he first cheated on his girlfriend with.)

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TO ALL THE GIRLS WHO WERE CHEATED ON, and TO YOU, BELOVED PMG READER: You may have heard this a lot of times, but let me say it again, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Yes, I know, it could hurt so much you couldn’t almost feel your heartbeat; neither will you know you are still alive because you are only floating, nor you couldn’t see you are actually existing because all you think of, no matter how much you try to forget, is that throbbing pain you feel from the moment you wake up, not to mention every waking moment until you luckily fall asleep. I know it’s hard. But remember, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I’m telling you, it’s time to let go. One day, this will all be a memory, and you’ll be just fine. Take that deepest breath, and move on. It’s time.

TO ALL THE CHEATERS, and TO YOU CADET: If you’re going to cheat, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship. Grow up and treat people like people instead of tools in your selfish ego workshop.

I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back, eventual happiness. But as I sit here with stones in my chest, where hope used to lie, I have come to the realization that there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you. SL via WordPorn

Topmost photo from Kaique Rocha via pexels.com

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The Person Behind Proud Military Girl

Hello, there!

You might be reading this because you want to know who Kim is, or who owns this page/blog. Lol I’m sorry to tell you, but I think this is not the right time to reveal who owns this blog. First I made an alternate account (which I might have used to add you as my friend on Facebook because I know/I have a feeling you belong to the Military World). This alternate account I named Kim is not my real FB account, I just use it to navigate to publishing tools of FB, and Kim is not my real name. I just used this name because it was how my late Dad called my youngest sibling (I used it because I want to commemorate my late Father.)

Why PMG? I know right. Lol. First of all, I am a girlfriend of a Junior Officer who graduated from the Philippine Military Academy. Some of you might know something about me, etc. But I want to keep my real identity privately because I want to be “not biased” when I write my articles.

Someone asked me why can’t I tell my real name, “Are you hiding something?” Lol the answer is: I am not. I just want to be private kasi baka sumikat ako and mawalan ng kabuluhan lahat ng meaning ng mga sinusulat ko, maging tungkol lahat saakin, the fact is I am writing generally, ayokong maging subjective lahat ng mga articles dito when I told you who I was. I want to write things regarding military love stories, majority comes from my own thoughts, but these thoughts, I think might be useful to others who also belong to my world.

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But, Why?

Being in a military relationship (especially when we started dating, he was then a Cadet) was tough. I don’t know who to turn to. I’m not really sure my civilian friends understand completely what I tell them, and I cannot hide the fact that I’m intimidated by Senior Officers’ girlfriends because , one, they are “upperclass,” two, I might be “not interested enough” to be a part of the club. lol (my melancholic side of me, esp when I was younger!)

Later on I met people who belong to the same crowd (they aren’t scary at all haha in fact they became my closest friends), some of them pursued the military marriage, some of them drifted from the military relationship, or I say, have broken up with their then-Cadet Boyfriends, but we remained in tact.

I’ve experienced a lot of emotions from this “military girlfriend” experience from Cadetship to Deployment until First Promotion etc. With this, I have a vision to create something useful to other “beginners” who are clueless kung anong pinapasok nila. Lol. I want to tell the (younger) Ladies, (who once was me) that, it’s going to be fine, we have each other.

I know this is a journey. Military life is a journey, so while I’m here fighting the unknown battles of being the woman behind my brave Soldier, I also would want to find inspiration to those who made it, to those Upperclassmen and Upperclass Ma’am who have the reality I once dreamt of, and continue dreaming—to finally be with the one I love, not the Soldier, but the man I decided to love since Day 1. I know we are just starting with our relationship, but looking at the Seniors who are (still) happily married and might now be traveling the world or rearing their grandchildren (after their Soldier Husband’s Service to our Beloved Country has been paid—by their time, by their life) makes me feel inspired.

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This blog was made out of courage of wanting to meet new people, newbies or veterans from the “Military Relationship,” I know we are the chosen few, but I know we speak tales of courage and patriotism being chosen in this precious “field.”

PMG is not just about me, it’s about every person who belongs to the Military Relationship looking for love and belongingness they cannot find from their reach. This is not just a story, but this is a “book.” The “book” which contains rare love stories from different walks of life which happened to be coloured in camouflage.

Welcome to PMG! This is your story. It is yours. I’m giving it to you.

To those who belong to the “Ladies” rank, the Kaydet Girls, the Officers’ Girls the Officers’ Wives, the Soldier’s Girlfriends, the Soldier’s Wives, I just want you to know, that YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. We are the bravest of all the ranks they could find in the Military Service, because we are our Soldiers’ sounding board, their tough wall, their greatest dream, and their greatest success.

To our Soldiers, Kudos to all of you! We know how much you could sacrifice your life for our fellow countrymen, how much more would you sacrifice for us? We love you so much, more than you’ll ever know, more than you could ever imagine. If only one statement could be used to summarize what we really wanted in life, it would be this statement: “I want to hold your hand when we’re 80, and say we made it.”

***This page is owned by a private individual. Any views or opinion regarding the Philippine Military Academy, Armmed Forces of the Philippines, or the Philippine Soldiers are own judgment of the writer. This page does not represent any entity or institution named above, unless otherwise stated.***

 

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Top 10 Most Read Articles of 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Once again, we were given another year to “get it right,” and we thank the Lord for giving us another life to live. But before we  go ahead and start the new year head on, I would like to reminisce the past year with you.

02 August 2017 was the date PMG FB Page was created, and from then on, I was with you all along, and for that, I personally THANK YOU! Thank you for your unending messages, your valuable comments and your shares!

So here are the Top 10 Most Read Articles of PMG from its 655 Followers! Again, thank  you so much for without you, PMG will not be possible!

TOP 10

How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated. CONTINUE READING

TOP 9

9 Reasons Being A Military Spouse Is The Toughest Job In The Military

“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what is required.” -Winston Churchill

A military wife goes through a lot of things but chooses to keep it to herself because she doesn’t want to bother her family or friends, after deciding to marry the love of her life, who happens to be in the military. That’s why, those emotions and thoughts were only kept unsaid and remained as secrets that only those who go through it could understand. Nevertheless, here are some of the things which justify why being a military spouse is the toughest job in the military. CONTINUE READING

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TOP 8

7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple. CONTINUE READING

TOP 7

6 Reasons Every Military Wife/Gf Should Visit The ‘Camp’

“Behind every strong soldier, there is a strong woman, who stands behind him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.” -Anonymous

Most of the military women especially spouses have formed the habit of staying at home. They wait for their Soldier knocking by their house’s doorstep, and some divert their longing and focus their attention to take care of their kids or manage the house. But this habit of not visiting your military partner in his work area doesn’t usually help the relationship grow, sometimes, it leads to future gap or misunderstanding.

After having asked military spouses who stayed stunning even after giving birth, and from collected experiences of awesome military girlfriends, and Officers’ Girls, here are some of the many reasons why every Military Wife/Gf should visit their man in the Camp. CONTINUE READING

TOP 6

8 Things Only A Military Wife/Girlfriend Will Understand

When you are in a military relationship, chances are, you are always being asked by your friends what it really feels like loving someone who is a thousand miles away from you, and chances are, no matter how you explain your thoughts and feelings to them, they will never understand you, unless they’ll experience it firsthand.

In behalf of the minority, and representing the “silent” background of the strife, allow me to share with you this reality, and what it really feels like loving a Soldier. CONTINUE READING

TOP 5

9 Warning Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

This is a response to our reader who wants to know if this certain Cadet is really serious about her

I’m not an advocate for busting someone or anything doing negative stuff just to prove a point, but this time, for the sake of our reader, I want to talk about this topic

I have a lot of thoughts about this, because, I know a lot of ladies who were brought to sudden heartbreak because the man they think were serious about them, were actually just fooling around. CONTINUE READING

 TOP 4

IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before

Once and for all I want to answer all our family’s and friends’ question, “Bakit hindi pa kayo nagpapakasal?”

Natatawa ako kasi lagi na lang ganito ang tanong saamin ng mga friends namin lalo na ang mga pamilya namin…

Bakit nga ba? CONTINUE READING

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TOP 3

9 Cute But Annoying Things Your Cadet BF Tells You

1.

Situation: Pagkatapos niyong kumain at nakaupo pa kayo sa table kung saan kayo kumain, say, sa food court or any other restaurants, tapos ikaw: bigla kang naglabas ng mirror kasi titignan mo lang naman kung meron kang dumi sa mukha or ngipin… sasabihin niya, “My, hindi dito ang tamang place para magmake-up, ‘dun ka dapat sa sink.”

2.

Everytime na kakain ka ng certain fruit, like saging, sasabihin niya, “Alam mo ba My, tinuruan kaming kumain ng ganyan in a formal way, parang ganito ‘ata iyon.” Tapos kukunin niya iyong knife, itatry niyang i-fruit ninja iyong saging, mula sa balat, hanggang sa magiging bite size na lang. Hahaha omg

3.

Ganun din ‘pag kumain kayo ng crab. Haha CONTINUE READING

TOP 2

Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl

This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2011. Original title: “Memoirs of A Weekend Girlfriend.”

*****

“Nakauwi ka na ba? Musta pala iyong pinanood mong movie?”

These were the last words he sent me through SMS. It was only 2030H then and it was Saturday. It’s the 30th day of October to be exact. I thought he just fell asleep because of the exasperating activities he is doing habitually inside the academy. After an hour, I texted him again, saying,

“Sleep tight, antukin ka talga. Nga pala, wag kang masyadong malungkot dyan ah kahit mag-isa ka sa barracks. Nand2 lang ako sana hindi mo iyon maklimutan! Good night, my Indian! ^^”

Waking up from nowhere from one of my midnight sleep-awakening episodes during that night, I reached out for my cellphone, expecting a message from him. Nothing. So I just continued my sleep and thought that maybe he was just back from the routine of logging in the cellphone and so much of that what-have-you’s inside.
October 31, November 1, 2, nothing… 4 days… 5 days… 6 days… still, there’s no text from my beloved Cadet. CONTINUE READING

TOP 1

Yes, well, if you are a Follower of PMG, you know very well who Cadet J is! And yes, he topped off all the articles from PMG’s 2017 posts! Imagine! Almost earned 12,000 views! Here’s our Top 1 ***DRUM ROLL***

PMG Notes: This story was contributed by a former Cadet (now an Army Officer), whose love for his girlfriend is unsurmountable, he has to immortalize their story LOL. Itago na lang daw natin siya sa pangalang Cadet J, isa raw siyang simple at mapagmahal na nilalang. Ehem. Actually guys, hindi lang siya basta-bastang Cadet. He graduated top in his class, biruin niyo, hindi lang talaga brawn and brains ang mga Cadets natin, meron din silang big love na nakatago sa dibdib nila (hindi lang halata hehe!). In fairness nakakakilig ang kwento niya. This story is from a Cadet’s POV, first in PMG. Thanks, Cadet J, for trusting PMG!

LOVE OF A LIFETIME

CHAPTER 1: Find Out

September 17, 2010, Friday

Matapos ang limang araw na bagbagan sa acads (academic bombardment), heto, busy na naman ang Cadet Corps sa paglilinis ng kwarto, pagsa-shine ng lahat ng sapatos pati lahat ng metal parts na gagamitin sa parada at pagpe-prepare sa buong barracks para naman every is happy sa buong weekend dahil may privilege kami…

September 18, 2010, Saturday

So heto na nga, Sabado na. Barracks and Ranks Inspection na naman, pagkatapos, Testimonial Parade and review para sa bisita. Normal routine na sa mga Kadete ang Parade and Review every Saturday.

So after ng Parade, vaultfiles nag 60- 60 (ngmamadali) ang lahat para magbihis ng Dress White para sa noon mess. Muntik ko ng makalimutan MOG (Messenger Of the Guard) pala ako. Ito yung mga duty guards na nag i-entertain ng mga bisita sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge, Lopez Hall at PMA Museum at nag-eexplain sa kanila kung may mga tanong sila about sa Academy or may hinahanap silang kadete. So excuse ako sa noon mess at dumiretso na ako sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge. Kasama ng ibang MOG, doon lang kami patayu-tayo, palakad-lakad. Tapos lilipat na naman sa Lopez Hall.

After noon, may mga bisita nang pumasok at ngtatanong, so ini-entertain naman naming nang maayos. Kamay, Ngiti, Bati ‘ika nga.

CONTINUE READING “LOVE OF MY LIFE”

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Again, thank you for making 2017 possible , PMG Readers! 2018 will be so much fun with our growing community, thank you! I promise that I will continue giving you love posts to read, as long as there is One Soul left to read my entries, I will continue this quest of being a PROUD MILITARY GIRL. Thank you guys! I love you all! Happy New Year!

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The Secret To A Happy And Lasting Relationship

Many of us think that once you’ve entered a relationship, it means that, everyday is all about rainbows and butterflies, but I beg to disagree. Why? Because having to love someone does not entail loving them only during good times, but it means loving them even during the unloveable and worse times.

They say, you have the happiest and lasting relationship once you’ve experienced hurdles and successes during a long period of time together. But that is not always true. A lot of couples we know who have a lasting relationship (which we think the only thing lacking is the wedding, or worse is, they’re already married) have gone to separate ways. Why? Because along the way, after having been together for quite some time, you will experience things which will change your perspective totally. Once you’ve gotten yourself a job, or you started working overseas, or you met and started to mingle with new set of friends or colleagues, or you experienced a major problem in your life, everything will turn 180deg from your original thoughts and beliefs. Things, people, job, new culture, and experiences will change you, whether you like it or not.

Hence, after all the things you encountered, or having met the people you ought to work with, and all, at the end of the day, what you wanted, still, is to be with the one you love and chose to love after all these years. So what do we really need in order to stay in love and being loved by the most important person in our life? I think the secret to a lasting, happy, contented and healthy relationship is…. *drumroll… is…. to choose each other every day. One day at a time, choose each other. How is that even possible and helpful?

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First, you do not know what the future holds, you don’t control the sky, the moon, the stars, and every situation that is happening that might change your feelings to the person, BUT, if you choose to love the person everyday, one day at a time, I think it will be extraordinary, and let me say it… life-changing.

Think of this, everyday, in every hour, in every minute, and in any circumstances, if you choose to love the person, nothing will be at risk. However difficult it could get, even during the times you are fighting, or even if one of you is being a pain in the neck; once you turn your thoughts and efforts towards loving that person no matter how difficult and impossible the situation gets, everything is going to be a-okay. That, I promise you. But, what’s the catch? The rule of the thumb is, both of you should be practicing that every day. Why? Because, a relationship consists of two whole beings who are intellectually capable to understand, to love and to commit.

One more thing is when you practice loving the person in any circumstance, drunk or sober, you will not commit any mistake, even if you’re surrounded with unfaithful friends (who do extracurricular activities while their partners are away), or even if you are being pressured by your colleagues, nothing will be at risk if you choose to love the person in any circumstances whatsoever.

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, and suddenly you do not know where to go or what to do anymore, chances are, you might be finding yourself regretting something you already did that you shouldn’t have to; but if you take your relationship seriously, and you focus your thoughts to the person you love, no matter how tough any situation gets, at the end of the day, you will be able to sleep your conscience, good night; because you did the right thing that day, and tomorrow is another brand new day to choose to love the person. Remember, while the relationship lasts, love will not always be feelings anymore, rather, it will be a decision.

“You are the first and last thing on my mind each and every day.”

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7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple.

Since Day 1, he has been very “extra protective” of me because he knows how naive I am, how impulsive I am to making harsh decisions, and how I easily slip things on my hands, unintentionally.

So through time, I’ve learned these things from him, important values I think I could share to you, and I hope it will help you, too.

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Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

NEVER VOLUNTEER INFORMATION

He is a Soldier, as much as I’d like to deny this fact, we will be having “extra special” kind of family in the future, where “extra” means we have to be very vigilant and careful because, bad guys do exist. If you know where I’m getting into, you know how important this really is. So I cannot barge around meeting new people and tell them my boyfriend is a Soldier, and he is currently assigned to this and that, etc, etc, our home address, where his parents’ home is, etc etc. FACT: I actually don’t carry any military-related stuff, his photo wearing his rank, or PMA souvenir, takot ko lang. Civis lang lagi dapat ang peg.

NEVER TELL PEOPLE YOUR WHEREABOUTS

First clue: He deactivated navi tools in our devices; and when I’m with him, we tend to keep ourselves being tracked by the social media, and stuff. I know sometimes it’s kind of overacting because who cares where we are after all, right? We are not celebrities, or VIPs, but he explained to me that he is a government property; he is a walking hot stuff with “barcode” ready to be snatched by some dude trying to ruin the democracy or so. LOL. Kidding aside, I should really give this some serious consideration, because I know he has Serial Number, and he is more important as I think he is, especially to the government.

So yeah, majority of our photos are “throwback” or “days ago” photos, and I’ve gotten used to it.

Read More: Military Relationship Facts

MASTER SELF-PRESERVATION

“No matter where you are, always be at peace with everybody. Don’t take sides, be neutral. Don’t open your mouth if you have any opinion about someone’s life, it’s not your business. Behave properly.” These are just his common precautions which he reminds me on a regular basis.

You know, I’m an INTJ type of person,  so I tend to be analytical all the time.

INTJ PERSONALITY: Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas. ~MBTI

(Take the “MBTI” Test to find out which personality type you belong, and share your results, I want to know!)

I tend to be critical about things, and I don’t settle for less. This is my then-personality and it has mellowed down as my BF tamed me through the years.

DO NOT OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you will only say bad stuff or suggestive comments to people who are not your people, haha MAPAPAAWAY KA LANG. Yes, I’ve learned a lot from this.

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ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

When we go to a totally new place, esp buildings for that matter, I always find him looking for the “EMERGENCY EXIT.” He is very vigilant this way. Later on in life, I realized I’m becoming him. You know, we are a typical LDR couple so majority of my time I spend alone, and these “life skills” of his tend to creep through my veins before my own eyes. Haha I was actually taking serious precautions that my co-workers find me a little bit weird already. Haha

Read More: How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

SAFETY FIRST

Yes, whatever happens, choose the greater good for a greater number. hehe Basic Life Support 101. Kidding aside, you have to really prioritze safety. It’s better safe than sorry, sabi nga nila.

SAVE

I’m the type of person before who loves to YOLO. I spend my hard-earned money to unnecessary things, buying stuff I actully don’t need. Here comes Sancho, a spendthrift person, who saves and invests regularly. Even before he graduates from the Academy, he has already estbalished this habit, which now, I am currently applying because of his influence. LOL Remember this: save now, and it will save you in the future.

“The simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”

LOVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Actually, this might sound a little bit funny, or “not-so-serious” item on the list, but hey! It’s actually vital. I was reading last month, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I was actually planning to re-read it again, and on the early pages, I remember, author Stephen Covey explains that in order to “produce” you have to actually invest on the “production capability” or the P/PC Balance Principle.

Aesop’s fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg TM

This fable is the story of a poor farmer who one day discovers in the nest of his pet goose a glittering golden egg. At first, he thinks it must be some kind of trick. But as he starts to throw the egg aside, he has second thoughts and takes it in to be appraised instead. The egg is pure gold! The farmer can’t believe his good fortune. He becomes even more incredulous the following day when the experience is repeated. Day after day, he awakens to rush to the nest and find another golden egg. He becomes fabulously wealthy; it all seems too good to be true.

But with his increasing wealth comes greed and impatience. Unable to wait day after day for the golden eggs, the farmer decides he will kill the goose and get them all at once. But when he opens the goose, he finds it empty. There are no golden eggs — and now there is no way to get any more. The farmer has destroyed the goose that produced them.

But as the story shows, true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

source: EFECTIVENESS DEFINED by Stephen R. Covey

Sancho always tells me this, “My, katawan lang natin ang puhunan natin sa trabaho, kaya dapat alagaan natin ang sarili natin.” He always reminds me to take my vitamins regularly, sleep early, stay warm, eat healthy, exercise reguarly and stuff, and actually he reminds me to update my “work stuff” regularly, especially my shoes or work clothes, because these things are the ones which I use everyday during work, so it has to be extra durable and could actually prevent incidents of injury, ie the shoes/car/ride that we use everyday. You know.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Yes, I know sometimes we’re kind of over doing stuff, but actually if you come to think of it, we should really be extra careful because we are inside the Military. We are not just civilians who snap around trying to challenge freedom; we are a part of the organization who actually maintain and uphold the peace and order for others to actually enjoy their “freedom,” and by this, we should at least, try not contribute to the problem, and do our best to at least help our MIU uphold their ideals by being vigilant in our own little ways.

Notes: Sancho is a Junior Officer of the Philippine Army, I, on the other hand is an ordinary girl from an ordinary family, trying to love an extraordinary man 🙂

Military Relationship is tough, but if you belong to us, like the PAGE for more “extraordinary” articles to read. See you soon! ~KimSancho

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The list goes on! What life hacks have you learned from your Soldier? Tell us your stories by commenting on this article.

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Read More:  9Reasons Being A Military Spouse is the Toughest Job in the Military

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