6 Challenges Military Wives Experience

Hello again! This time, we will talk about challenges that Military Wives experience. So after ng Cadetship niya, siyempre ma-deploy na sila, and later on, magiging mag-asawa na rin kayo, susulong na rin kayo sa buhay pag-aasawa.

Medyo tough ang topic na ito, so brace yourselves. Hehe

For sure, marami ring readers ng PMG na mga military wives. Question: Mahirap po bang maging Asawa ng Sundalo?

Medyo hindi ako makasagot ng tama sa tanong ng reader natin na iyan, kasi personally, hindi pa kami kinakasal hehehe. Hindi pa ako formally “Military Wife” so if you are reading this, and kung military wife po kayo, please enlighten us.

But first, here are the things na natanong ko sa mga girl friends kong married sa mga sundalo… and if you are a Military girlfriend tulad ko, malamang magandang tip na malaman na natin ‘to ngayon pa lang.

#1 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

When you’re living in another state or country, though, you cannot share these activities with the person you love. You can’t gaze into one another’s eyes and enjoy the pleasures of physical contact, or even share the simple joy of one another’s presence. And depending on the situation, you may not know if or when you’ll be able to see each other again. (from keepinspiringme.com)

A lot of us, especially iyong mga OFW katulad ko, nahihirapan sa communication lalo na kapag walang internet sa bundok o sa field. Sobrang nag-struggle ako sa pagka-miss ko sa kaniya nung bagong salta lang ako sa ibang bansa. Pero isipin mo, hindi na lang ikaw girlfriend, kundi ASAWA ka na niya. Your life and his life ay iisa na. Imagine mo iyan, mapapahiwalay kayo sa isa’t isa kasi nga siyempre sa duty, at sa deployment niya, karaniwan, sobrang layo pa ng assignment niya.

Mahirap minsan tumayo sa isang relationship na pakiramdam mo nag-iisa ka lang. Hehe alam ko iyong ganitong feeling kasi napagdaananan ko na ito noon, hindi ka sigurado kung kayo pa ba, kasi sa tagal na niya sa operation, halos mag-3months noon nung hindi siya nakapag-message sa akin, hindi ko talaga alam kung kami pa ba. Ang hirap lang.

Tapos, ang daming challenges sa buhay mo, tapos wala siya. Parang ang hirap magpakatatag minsan para sa sarili mo, pero ok lang iyon ha, kasi gustung-gusto naman talaga nilang umuwi, hindi lang talaga pwede o agad-agad.

#2 TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS

Siyempre, a big part of building your own family is having kids. Kadalasan, kasama mo ang asawa mo magpalaki ng mga anak niyo, lalo na iyong first time Mom, sabi ng isang friend ko, nahihirapan daw siya kasi sa kaniya lahat ng puyat and all.. Tapos hindi niya alam kung paano o ano ang gagawin kung magkakasakit ang anak, dahil nag-iisa lang siya. Maswerte na rin tayo kung nasa poder pa tayo ng mga magulang natin, o malapit lang sila, so that they too, can take part in rearing your kids. Para hindi sayo lahat ang work.

Iba na rin kasi talaga kapag may mga anak ng pinag-uusapan.. Sa palagay ko, medyo upgraded iyong challenges. Pasensiya na hindi ako makakapag-explain adequately sa bagay na ito kasi hindi ko pa naeexperience, hayaan niyo kapag may anak na ako, sasabihin ko sa inyo… hehe

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#3 BUDGETING and FINANCIAL MATTERS

Yes, admit it or not, kahit good-paying job ang pagiging isang sundalo, at dahil nga meron ka pang pinapalaking baby, hindi ka pa rin magkakaroon ng chance bumalik sa employment so dedepende ka pa rin sa sahod ni Mister. Mahirap iyong reality na ito kasi minsan hindi napapag-usapan, kasi ang sakit sa bangs bes. Haha Ang sakit pag-usapan iyong mga financial matters, iyong mga bagay na dapat talagang pinag-uusapan, hindi na napag-uusapan, iyong mga bagay na dapat ay DISCUSSION lang, nauuwi sa ARGUMENTS, hanggang sa may lilipad na na mga pinggan diyan lol. Pero joke lang po iyong pinggan, hahaha.

Pero sounds about right diba? Kasi iyan din ang sabi ng mga napagtanungan ko, lalo na iyong mga nagsisimula pa lang na military family.

#4 TRAVEL EXPENSES

Bes, ang sakit sa bangs ng abrupt buying of plane tickets, hehe kasi kailangan mo siyang puntahan. Na-try niyo na ba ‘to? Ang gastos ‘di ba? At nakaka-iyak kasi ang mahal ng days-before-your flight plane ticket. Pero walang magagawa kasi nga, ganito ang buhay ng military. Kung kelan ka niya kailangan, puntahan mo siya. Tungkulin mo iyon bilang military wife. Ikaw ang mag-aadjust para sa kaniya.

“ Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”– Thomas Fuller

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan nating magkita. Hehe Kahit masakit pa iyan sa bangs, we have to see each other, kahit gaano pa kalayo ang lalakbayin ko, basta makita lang kita. Ganito kasi dapat ang love, may halong sacrifice.

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#5 UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. -Lauren K. Hamilton

Alam niyo minsan iyong feeling na, kapag mag-memessage ka tapos “seen” lang niya, and kahit alam mo namang busy naman talaga siya sa trabaho or duty, siyempre masasaktan ka rin… Getting real na tayo dito, hindi na ‘to pa-tweetums ha, hehe. Siyempre may mga times na gusto natin na suyuin tayo o damayan nila tayo sa bad day natin, tapos SEEN ka lang, parang sinasabi niya e, “SORRY I’M EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.” Di ba parang ang hirap? Pero kapag naramdaman niyo iyan, i-message niyo na lang ako. Hehe Kasi minsan talaga napagdadaanan natin iyan e.

May mga bagay na na-de-deprive ang mag-asawang military, iyong time nila para sa isa’t isa esp kapag meron talagang mabigat na pinagdadaanan, tapos wala iyong asawa mo na sasandalan mo. Siyempre, mahihirapan ka talaga. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, dapat tatagan ko iyong loob ko dahil Military na ang buhay ko lalo na kapag nag-asawa na.

Remember: Military ang napili mong makakasama habang-buhay. Tapangan mo ang sarili mo. Kasi, sayo siya kukkuha ng strength.

#6 FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

“You don’t just have to die for the people you love, you have to live for them, too.”

Ito na iyong isa sa pinakamasakit tanggapin, iyong takot na mawawala siya anytime. Iniisip ko pa lang, nasasaktan na ako. hehe Pero siyempre hindi natin iyan iniisip na mangyayari, kasi hindi talaga natin alam ano na ang mangyayari sa atin, pero it’s part of what we’ve actually signed up for.

Masakit tanggapin na hindi mo alam kung ano kakahinatnan ng operation nila, kung ano ang haharapin mo kinabukasan, na kapag may tumawag sayo na unknown number, hindi mo gustong iyon na iyong tawag sayo.

Pero kahit merong possibility na ganiyan, e kumapit pa rin tayo sa Itaas. Huwag magpapaapekto, lagi lang tayong mananalangin. Ang Dios na ang bahala sa atin.

Pero, lagi mo ring sasabihin sa kaniya, na hindi lahat ng Heroes nasa Libingan ng mga Bayani, kundi (at lalung-lalo na), iyong mga Sundalong nakakauwi sa kanilang mga pamilya pagkatapos ng lahat ng unos sa field.

And remember… Gustung-gusto na rin nilang umuwi. Imagine mo itong Poem na ito, palagay ko, sobrang ganito ang feeling ng mga Soldiers, na they want to spend the “morning” with their loved ones, too.

Will There Really Be A Morning

Will there really be a morning?

Is there such thing as day?

Could I see it from the mountains?

If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like water lilies?

Has it feathers like a bird?

Is it brought from the famous countries

of which I have never heard?

Oh, some scholar! Oh, some sailor!

Oh, some wise man from the skies!

Please to tell a little pilgrim

Where the place called morning lies!

poem by Emily Dickinson

Above photo from Wyatt Castaneda from pexels.com

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&&The list goes on…. Para sa mga Readers ng PMG na military wives, pwede niyo ba kaming i-enlighten para malaman naman naming mga girlfriend pa lang, kung ano ba talaga ang pinapasok namin? hahaha Please comment or message me kung may maidaragdag pa kayo.

Pero what if…

May paraan pa? What if meron ka pang mahanap na way para mapagaan ang buhay niyong mag-asawa? Kung full-time Mom ka and lagi kang home-based, tapos kay Mister lang naka-depende ang household finances niyo, tapos may malaman kang way para mapagaan ng konti at magkaroon ka ng financial breakthrough, gagawin mo ba? CLICK TO CONTINUE READING…

 

Bakit May Mga Kadeteng Hindi Pa rin Makuntento Sa Iisa?

Ay grabe siya oh. Hehe

Guys, eto iyong tanong saakin ng isang reader natin, actually tanong ko rin iyan e.

Meron kasi talagang mga Kadete na hindi na nga Kevin, iba-iba pa ang sim kasi iba-iba ang girlfriends.

I’m totally being honest with you, meron talagang mga Kadete ang ganiyan… I know, kasi may mga Mistah si Sancho na ganiyan…

Naisip ko lang ha, ano ba talagang dahilan kung bakit ‘di sila makuntento sa iba? Eto iyong mga naisip ko, pero baka may gusto pa kayong idagdag:

1. Hindi Siya Masaya Sayo

Sige, oo, sabihin na nating jerk siya kasi naghahanap pa siya ng iba. Pero, isipin mo lang, kung masaya siya at kontento na sayo, bakit pa iyan maghahanap ng iba ‘di ba?

TIP: Huwag na huwag ikakasama ng loob mo na niloko ka niya, magpasalamat ka pa nga dahil nalaman mo agad, habang hindi pa kayo kinakasal, or i mean hindi pa kayo ganun ka-long term, or sorry kung long term na kayo, pero at least, hindi pa huli ang lahat. Nalaman mo agad na ganun siya. Edi hindi na madaragdagan iyong panahon na ginugugol mo para lang lokohin ka niya.

2. Hindi Ka Niya Mahal

Parehong bagay lang naman iyon sa itaas e. E hindi ka nga niya mahal e, bakit siya magko-commit sayo? Sorry harsh lang, pero kung ganitong lalaki ang mahahanap mo, wag ka nang magpatumpik-tumpik, hiwalayan mo na iyan girl. Kapag pinatagal mo pa iyan, hoping na magbago pa siya, pwes, para ka na lang din kumuha ng malaking bato na ipupukpok mo sa sarili mo. Sorry harsh lang.

3. Collect & Select

Guys parang ref magnet lang hahaha. Bakit naman ganun? Tinanong ko nga rin kay Sancho iyan, sabi niya, meron talagang ganiyan na tao, mag-iipon muna sila tapos para wide range ang choices na pagpipilian nila. Kapag ganito ang Boyfriend mo, uulitin ko uli, hiwalayan mo na iyan. Gusto mo bang maging choice ka na lang?

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4. Hindi Siya Committed

Wala lang talaga sa Vocabulary niya ang salitang commitment guys. Bakit ba kasi pinipilit pa nating i-sugarcoat diba? E hindi nga niya gusto sa isang relationship e. Or kung gusto man niya, baka gusto niya iyong open relationship, at kung willing ka rin na ganun ang maging set up niyo, dapat pag-usapan niyo at dapat may informed consent iyan. Hindi lang one way street.

5. Geographical Reason (Nakakaloka Itong Item Na ‘To)

Personally meron akong nakilala guys na isang Kadete, ang dami niyang ebababs na ka-textmate, ka-meet up. Every time na priv, iba-ibang babae ang kasama niya sa SM. Hindi ko na nga lang siya tinanong directly, pero parang nabanggit niya sa akin, “It won’t work anyway.” Kasi nga raw, taga Mindanao siya (guys, hindi lahat ganito, I mean hindi lahat ng taga-Mindanao ganito, pero iyong taong sinasabi ko, taga Agusan Del Norte iyan, totoo iyan ha, true story). 

Sabi niya saakin, “If  ever I had a girlfriend, I have to leave her anyway, kasi taga-South ako. Kung taga-Baguio siya or Luzon, that’s just it.” Para na lang niyang sinabi na girlfriend ka lang niya sa Luzon, or kapag nasa Luzon siya. Grabe! Kakaibang set of values ito guys.

6. Pampalipas Ng Oras

Gusto lang niyang may mag-entertain sa kaniya during his Cadetship Years sa Baguio. Believe it or not, meron talagang ganito.

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Marami pang dahilan kung bakit may mga ganitong Kadete, actually hindi naman related ito sa pagiging Kadete nila, nasa tao iyan. Huwag na huwag nating huhusgahan ang isang profession dahil sa gawa ng ilang tao, hehe. I mean, diba, maraming Kadete or I should say, majority sa mga Kadete ang nakikipag-relationship na talaga namang future na agad ang iniisip, iyong serious agad. Tignan niyo na lang si Sancho. Nakilala ko siya first priv niya right after maging Plebe, ngayong 2018, 8 years na kami. Hahaha. Kami pa rin naman? Ganoon din sa iba naming mga kakilala at mga Mistah niya, Upper Class, at Under Class. Minalas ka nga lang, doon pa talaga sa frog, iyon pa talaga ang nakilala mo. Pero huwag kang ma-sad. Napagdaanan ko rin iyan. Makikita mo rin at makikilala iyong Sancho ng buhay mo. Promise!

This is it for now dahil pang-night duty ako at wala pa akong tulog. LOL

Above photo from Miss Ron. Thanks again, Ron! Anyways, their photo is very unrelated to the topic, going strong sila sa kanilang relationship; photo was edited from the original photo contributed

Read More: 9 Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

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7 Things I Want To Give Up This Year

“It’s the oldest story in the world. One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly without you ever really noticing it, SOMEDAY is TODAY. And then SOMEDAY is YESTERDAY. And this is your life.” -Anonymous

At some point in your life you will realize there are a lot of unnecessary things you do that you just want to buckle under your sheets now that you know better. You realized you don’t need these things or become a better version of yourself, that’s why you plan to make a list of things which you promise not to do anymore.

Things I want To Give Up Now That I’m A Year Wiser

1. EXCESSIVE TALKING (ME-&-MY-BIG-MOUTH SITUATIONS)

Admit it or not, when you are so happy you turn your opinion or “impression” knob so high that whatever you see, you say something about it. Not necessarily a needed suggestion, but it’s only your “mere” thoughts. However, when you get wiser you realize that there are boundaries you need to safeguard, for others not to get hurt or upset. Hence, you want to become more of a “listening” kind of person than being the talkative one.

2. REGRETTING TOO MUCH

You are not an ordinary person if you don’t have bones hidden in your closet that you want to bury with the past. However, when you regret that too often, that is unhealthy. Remember, don’t sacrifice your future because of your past. People make mistakes. If you have any regretful moment in your life, remember that it happened for a purpose. Forgive yourself, and move on.

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3. UNREASONABLE SPENDING

Spending money like water is nothing but an ordinary scene which you can observe in most individuals, who just started earning their own money. It is given that you should also spend your hard-earned money in your wants; however, when you spend it too much and too often, it’s a different story.
 Satisfying yourself by buying that watch you really wish to have is different from buying a signature bag this month, after having bought a different one last month. That is already unreasonable spending. As you mature, you should realize the importance of every cent you earn, so instead of buying a lot of “wants” you should think of saving money for the future or at least for the rainy days.

4. TRUSTING TOO MUCH

Being one in the minority of your organizational chart, you often tend to be agreeable with everything your colleagues will tell you, because you want harmony in your work. However, at some point you will notice that they are already defiling your kindness, or worse is you got into trouble because your colleagues used you as their scapegoat. This time, you want to be more cautious.

Read More: Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors: 2018 Goals

5. UNHELPFUL COMPLAINING

When you were younger, you were used to getting what you want or letting others do what you need to do. So when you start your career, you sometimes forget that you were only starting as a novice. Hence, you tend to complain when people will try to oblige you to do something you thought would be out of your “job description.” Sometimes, it really happens. However, just remember that the more tasks they will impose on you, the better you’ll get in your job; because you will be exposed to small errands happening in your company. Remember, small things make great things. Soon enough, you will swim in the mainstream. So stop complaining, instead, ask for more and initiate.

6. GOSSIP MONGERING

This happens everywhere. Remember, there’s a reason why people talk behind someone else’s back; it means he is ahead of them. Don’t be that kind of person who starts a conversation to sabotage or mock someone’s career or reputation. You’re better than that.

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A lot of problems in this world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.

7. SAYING NO TOO OFTEN

Sometimes, when you become more cautious not to fail or make mistakes, you often say NO to all the possibilities life has to offer. Common, turn away from that attitude; because the best way to learn is by failing and actually experiencing things. You were born not to be perfect, you were born to experience life.

Read More: 10+ Signs You’ve Become A Better Version Of Yourself

FINAL THOUGHTS
Life’s greatest lessons are learned as you grow up. Not necessarily by age, but by decision. Growing old is different from growing up. While you are busy building your tangible assets, you sometimes forget to build your assets coming from within. Remember, they are also the building blocks of your future.

“The hardest part about growing up, is letting go of what you were used to; and moving on with something you’re not.” -Anonymous

Now, it’s your turn, what is it that you want to give up this 2018? Comments are encouraged below. Feel free! 🙂

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Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors: 2018 GOALS

Last year, on my birthday, I started to make my own list of “new” year’s resolution to guide me through another year of my life, somehow, I realized that things which you are really committed to do won’t take a short time to happen or manifest in your life, so I kind of reviewed my birthday resolution list and make them into my new year’s resolution.

Another year has passed again, and as we come to realize that we are not “getting any younger,” we start to ask ourselves questions like, “what happened to you?” “Have you accomplished your goals?” Did you enjoy your 20’s? Have you had a productive 2017?”  Actually, I have mixed emotions regarding the new year. Nevertheless, 

I realized it isn’t too late to start all over again. Years from now when I look back, I want to remember this day when finally I realized I should give priority to improving myself, and how I could be of help to others, or at least not to be other’s baggage.

This year, I want to free myself of hate or of negativities. Life is too short to keep grudge or to argue with someone, or to be impatient. Life should be fun, and should be full of enthusiasm.

2018 Goals:



**Good relationship with Mom

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been super close to my Dad, but when my Dad passed away, even though I haven’t come to my full recovery, yet, I realized I still have one parent, equally deserving of my love and attention, who is my Mom. I think everybody should have a good relationship with their Moms. She is the one who brought you into this world. Thanks to her this world will never be the same again because of a bright and awesome person she delivered when you were born. Don’t let the day pass without calling her or making sure if she’s ok. Ok?

Dear Mom, I love you.

 

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**Good relationship with the Sib

Your siblings are your own flesh and blood, you shouldn’t argue with them long before you knew you passed their birthday without greeting them or without making them feel loved. Their failures are yours, too, so make sure you exist in their lives no matter how difficult it is to call from abroad to know if they’re doing well, or ask if they’ve visited your folks already this month.

**Unwavering Faith

When you get to be on your own, you’ll realize the Divine Intervention guiding you through every step. At times you may feel that you are alone, but thanks to the Lord, He has never left us. There are times, all you can say is, “It’s You and  me again, God! Please take care of me and never leave my side.” That’s the time you’ll know you have strengthen your faith ever.

Read More: 7 Things I Want To Give Up This Year

** Long-lasting friendships

You may have all drifted apart, some got married and some have kids, some went to work abroad, some may remained busy in school to pursue their postgrad studies, but no matter how many times your priorities change, wherever life takes you, if a person is opt to be in your life, they will remain. You will find ways to reach each other or to get connected. You might be miles apart but your love and care for each other never change. You know you’ve lost some people along the way, some might be your best friends, but those who remained despite of it all, are your true friends. Keep them wherever you’ll go.


**Healthy Habits

Admit it or not, you are not getting any younger. It’s better to think ahead about your health, because let me say it, health is wealth. True enough, prevention is better than cure. As early as your mid20’s you should already be taking care of your health. You should start to plan healthy activities like 30min jogging or brisk walking at least twice a week; or to eat those vegetables which you’ve been avoiding since you were a kid… It’s up to you, as long as you know that chips in the morning, chips in the afternoon, and chips for dinner is in fact, unhealthy. Remember, you don’t want that your savings will go to your medication in the future just because you were taking your health for granted right now.

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**Peaceful coexistence with seemingly not-so-kind people

You can’t please everybody, you know that. So better accept that. No matter how you crash with someone, because of their personality, or bad deeds, you should learn to let small things go. Life should be spent being happy, not being angry to someone nor gossiping about them, either. It isn’t worth your precious time after all so keep that mouth shut and replace it with a smile. Science proves that silence and a genuine smile reduce fight significantly than confrontation. Remember to choose your battles.



**Profitable Hobby

Don’t get me wrong when I say, “profitable.” What I mean is beneficial or adds value to your life or to your own improvement. It’s okay if you are a KPop fan, but you know that there’s a thin line between admiration and addiction—you know it’s too much if you see yourself lying on your couch or wallowing on your bed with your favorite series on, without washing last night’s dishes, or haven’t even washed your 2week old might-have-been-rotting-already laundry. Before you know it, even your social life will suffer. I know, because I’ve been there. LOL




**Saving for the future, and thinking about your retirement

Yes as early as now. The best time to save money is when you have some. I couldn’t agree more! This is the right time to save for your future, and even think about your retirement plans. When you talk about investment, they say, the name of the game is time. You have to make money out of time just like what you are doing during employment. They exchange money for their hours of work (guilty!). Start now or forever regret in silence! The name of the game is time!

I make myself rich by making my wants few. Henry David Thoreau

**The Art of Deadma

Don’t sweat the small things. I’ll say it again, life is short. Your life is passing by before your eyes but you’re busy worrying about what your workmate forgot to do (which she must’ve supposed to do during her shift) which made you do it because her shift has ended, and you were to change her. OhMy. This is too much. God gives us an opportunity to give our best or to see the beautiful things He made for us to discover everyday. When you feel you will get mad, count from 1-10 and take 3 deep breaths, and move on. Give people benefit of the doubt, and forgive them. Remember everyone has been hurt, has lost something, or has been disappointed, not just you. Let go and let God, forgive people and your load will be lighter, I promise.



FINAL THOUGHTS 
If you are reading this, you might be someone who likes to read stuff on how to improve themselves, who is from their 20’s or someone who comes from the 30’s group who wants to assess themselves, if you really got it great before you turned 30. Whoever you are, whatever you do, remember, LIFE IS SHORT. Be forgiving, loving, generous, and understanding. Every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about so better be kind to every soul you meet. Not everything is centerred to you. The earth doesn’t revolve around your own axis, and remember that the place where your rights stop, the rights of others start.

Before you act, listen.

Before you react, think,

Before you spend, earn.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

-Ernest Hemingway

Read More: 10+ Signs You’ve Become a Better Version of Yourself

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Above photo from pexels.com

7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple.

Since Day 1, he has been very “extra protective” of me because he knows how naive I am, how impulsive I am to making harsh decisions, and how I easily slip things on my hands, unintentionally.

So through time, I’ve learned these things from him, important values I think I could share to you, and I hope it will help you, too.

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Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

NEVER VOLUNTEER INFORMATION

He is a Soldier, as much as I’d like to deny this fact, we will be having “extra special” kind of family in the future, where “extra” means we have to be very vigilant and careful because, bad guys do exist. If you know where I’m getting into, you know how important this really is. So I cannot barge around meeting new people and tell them my boyfriend is a Soldier, and he is currently assigned to this and that, etc, etc, our home address, where his parents’ home is, etc etc. FACT: I actually don’t carry any military-related stuff, his photo wearing his rank, or PMA souvenir, takot ko lang. Civis lang lagi dapat ang peg.

NEVER TELL PEOPLE YOUR WHEREABOUTS

First clue: He deactivated navi tools in our devices; and when I’m with him, we tend to keep ourselves being tracked by the social media, and stuff. I know sometimes it’s kind of overacting because who cares where we are after all, right? We are not celebrities, or VIPs, but he explained to me that he is a government property; he is a walking hot stuff with “barcode” ready to be snatched by some dude trying to ruin the democracy or so. LOL. Kidding aside, I should really give this some serious consideration, because I know he has Serial Number, and he is more important as I think he is, especially to the government.

So yeah, majority of our photos are “throwback” or “days ago” photos, and I’ve gotten used to it.

Read More: Military Relationship Facts

MASTER SELF-PRESERVATION

“No matter where you are, always be at peace with everybody. Don’t take sides, be neutral. Don’t open your mouth if you have any opinion about someone’s life, it’s not your business. Behave properly.” These are just his common precautions which he reminds me on a regular basis.

You know, I’m an INTJ type of person,  so I tend to be analytical all the time.

INTJ PERSONALITY: Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas. ~MBTI

(Take the “MBTI” Test to find out which personality type you belong, and share your results, I want to know!)

I tend to be critical about things, and I don’t settle for less. This is my then-personality and it has mellowed down as my BF tamed me through the years.

DO NOT OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you will only say bad stuff or suggestive comments to people who are not your people, haha MAPAPAAWAY KA LANG. Yes, I’ve learned a lot from this.

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ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

When we go to a totally new place, esp buildings for that matter, I always find him looking for the “EMERGENCY EXIT.” He is very vigilant this way. Later on in life, I realized I’m becoming him. You know, we are a typical LDR couple so majority of my time I spend alone, and these “life skills” of his tend to creep through my veins before my own eyes. Haha I was actually taking serious precautions that my co-workers find me a little bit weird already. Haha

Read More: How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

SAFETY FIRST

Yes, whatever happens, choose the greater good for a greater number. hehe Basic Life Support 101. Kidding aside, you have to really prioritze safety. It’s better safe than sorry, sabi nga nila.

SAVE

I’m the type of person before who loves to YOLO. I spend my hard-earned money to unnecessary things, buying stuff I actully don’t need. Here comes Sancho, a spendthrift person, who saves and invests regularly. Even before he graduates from the Academy, he has already estbalished this habit, which now, I am currently applying because of his influence. LOL Remember this: save now, and it will save you in the future.

“The simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”

LOVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Actually, this might sound a little bit funny, or “not-so-serious” item on the list, but hey! It’s actually vital. I was reading last month, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I was actually planning to re-read it again, and on the early pages, I remember, author Stephen Covey explains that in order to “produce” you have to actually invest on the “production capability” or the P/PC Balance Principle.

Aesop’s fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg TM

This fable is the story of a poor farmer who one day discovers in the nest of his pet goose a glittering golden egg. At first, he thinks it must be some kind of trick. But as he starts to throw the egg aside, he has second thoughts and takes it in to be appraised instead. The egg is pure gold! The farmer can’t believe his good fortune. He becomes even more incredulous the following day when the experience is repeated. Day after day, he awakens to rush to the nest and find another golden egg. He becomes fabulously wealthy; it all seems too good to be true.

But with his increasing wealth comes greed and impatience. Unable to wait day after day for the golden eggs, the farmer decides he will kill the goose and get them all at once. But when he opens the goose, he finds it empty. There are no golden eggs — and now there is no way to get any more. The farmer has destroyed the goose that produced them.

But as the story shows, true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

source: EFECTIVENESS DEFINED by Stephen R. Covey

Sancho always tells me this, “My, katawan lang natin ang puhunan natin sa trabaho, kaya dapat alagaan natin ang sarili natin.” He always reminds me to take my vitamins regularly, sleep early, stay warm, eat healthy, exercise reguarly and stuff, and actually he reminds me to update my “work stuff” regularly, especially my shoes or work clothes, because these things are the ones which I use everyday during work, so it has to be extra durable and could actually prevent incidents of injury, ie the shoes/car/ride that we use everyday. You know.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Yes, I know sometimes we’re kind of over doing stuff, but actually if you come to think of it, we should really be extra careful because we are inside the Military. We are not just civilians who snap around trying to challenge freedom; we are a part of the organization who actually maintain and uphold the peace and order for others to actually enjoy their “freedom,” and by this, we should at least, try not contribute to the problem, and do our best to at least help our MIU uphold their ideals by being vigilant in our own little ways.

Notes: Sancho is a Junior Officer of the Philippine Army, I, on the other hand is an ordinary girl from an ordinary family, trying to love an extraordinary man 🙂

Military Relationship is tough, but if you belong to us, like the PAGE for more “extraordinary” articles to read. See you soon! ~KimSancho

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The list goes on! What life hacks have you learned from your Soldier? Tell us your stories by commenting on this article.

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Read More:  9Reasons Being A Military Spouse is the Toughest Job in the Military

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5 Reasons You Should Do Your Best Today

Push yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.
This blog entry is inspired by my niece, Anne, who is now  a 3rd year Chemical Engineering student. She told me she’s been unmotivated for quite some time now, because of unrequited effort she is constantly having from all her engineering subjects, and for all those humdrum of college spectacles.

5 Reasons You Should Do Your Best Today

1. Remember why you started.

Life consists of sacrifices, and you got to take one for the team. Think of the most important people in your life, your parents, or your siblings perhaps; they’ve already took sacrifices for you, and this time, you got to take one for them, too.

Not satisfied, yet? Ok, think of your dreams. A couple of months or semesters ago, you’ve entered the school/university with the hope of becoming the best insert your future course/ occupation/ position in your humble town from your very own province. What happened now? Do you still want to be an Engineer? A Nurse? A Teacher? A Professional? An Entrepreneur? Or do you want to forgo this dream because you can’t take the fact that you only got 2-3 hours of sleep everyday due to school requirements? Mind the rewarding outcome, not the temporary comfort.

2. You’ve gone so far, don’t give up.

You’ve already hurdled great amount of effort before, why do you still want to give up now? A couple of months/years from now you will become the Boss reaping all successes which you got from your past sacrifices. The only requirement you need to do is to get yourself back on track and try to hold it together. It’s okay to set back once in a while, but you gotta make sure you’ll be back quickly to hold it together, again, this time, fiercer.

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Read More: 4 Habits Successful People Have

3. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

Remember, the harder, the better. In the future, you will not only encounter hills of problems, but mountains of them. So as you train to becoming the Boss, or the ‘Ma’am’ in your dream job/work/eterprise in the near future, it is necessary that you train in the worsts experiences and situations. You can’t be that good in your craft if you haven’t gone through the worsts.

A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.

4. Look up to your seniors.

You sure have someone you look up to who has already reached the zenith or the acme of your career. Don’t forget them during your battles, because they are impeccable proof who manifest that someone got off from your situation alive, and successful.

Read More: 10+ Signs You’ve Become A Better Version Of Yourself

5. Don’t forget that, “This too shall pass.”

Time is gold. This is classic, but I’m 100percent sure you do not want to get through this all over again, right? So do your best today. Screw later, because LATER is for people who want to set aside their future. They want to let the wind tell them where to go, and you don’t want that—a future full of uncertainties. What happens today dictates your future. Whatever you are doing today is creating your subsequent plans so make the best out of NOW.
Do something today, that your future self will thank you for.

Remember, it PAYS to be a WINNER.

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“Keep your head up. God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.” -Katie Schubert

Above photo fromJonas Svidrasvia pexels.com

Read More: 24 Ways to Cast That Stress Away!

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4 Habits Successful People Have

“Successful people never ask if things will work. They are willing to try and find out.” -Brad Gosse

4 Habits Successful People Have

Open-Minded

A narrow-headed person always creates petty fights everywhere he goes, because he never listens. Successful people actually listen a lot, in fact, their words are always few, they tend to  be the listener most of the time, because they want to get innovative ideas from other people .
Don’t be too skeptic or doubtful, and carefully weigh your words before you throw them, because you won’t get any wiser if you always choose to be the talker, remember, your ears are two compared to your only one mouth.  So remember to listen twice as much as you speak.

Be curious, not judgmental. -W. Whitman

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Risk-taker

You know that uncertain paths might lead to wasteful end or regretful mistakes. However, when you won’t choose to take weighed risks, you will never go anywhere, and you can never change where you are, obviously. Studies show that elderly people regret most of what they didn’t do than what they actually did even if it went shoddily. So take risks. You only live once. Make the best of it. Life consists of numerous trials and errors.

The real risk is doing nothing.

Positive

Nobody has a positive life with a negative mind. True enough, you know a good and successful person if that person always bless. His words are full of positive thoughts, encouragement, and motivation, and whenever he speaks, you just want to jump off from there, and run back to your life, and try to fix it and start all over again. That’s the effect of a truly successful person. Successful people are eager to teach someone to be successful, too.
Positivity is a choice. Like happiness, it cannot be found outside us, but within us lies positivity. Remember to be like the protons, ALWAYS POSITIVE. 🙂

I will go anywhere as long as it is forward. David Livingston

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Choose SUCCESS over EXCUSES

Robert Kiyosaki once said, “If you wan’t to be rich, don’t allow yourself the luxury of excuses.” True enough, every time we decide to start something we really wanted to do, like pursuing our post-grad education, or even the most ordinary deed like house chores, there will always be something blocking us from doing it, right? And we allow it, habitually. Like, “later if my kid gets 2, or later if I’m done watching insert the name of your favorite show.”

You can have RESULTS or EXCUSES. Not both.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Admit it or not, you always choose the luxury of excuses because there lies your ‘comfort zone’ where everything is good and easy. If you want to draw the line from becoming good to becoming great, help yourself. Remember, the harder, the better.

“When you want to SUCCEED as much as you want to BREATHE, then you’ll be SUCCESSFUL.” -Eric Thomas

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24 Ways To Cast That Stress Away!

So this is according to WebMD on their article Stress Symptoms

What Is Stress?

Stress is the body’s reaction to harmful situations — whether they’re real or perceived. When you feel threatened, a chemical reaction occurs in your body that allows you to act in a way to prevent injury. This reaction is known as “fight-or-flight,” or the stress response. During stress response, your heart rate increases, breathing quickens, muscles tighten, and blood pressure rises. You’ve gotten ready to act. It is how you protect yourself.

Stress means different things to different people. What causes stress in one person may be of little concern to another. Some people are better able to handle stress than others. And, not all stress is bad. In small doses, stress can help you accomplish tasks and prevent you from getting hurt. For example, stress is what gets you to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting the car in front of you. That’s a good thing.

Our bodies are designed to handle small doses of stress. But, we are not equipped to handle long-term, chronic stress without ill consequences.

-from Stress Symptoms,WebMD

*******PMG NOTES********

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do.”

Remember, it’s not the weight that puts you down, it’s the way you carry it. So here are some ways to bust the stress away. I hope you’ll find it useful. 🙂

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24 Effective Stress Busters

1. Just let it out. Shout it out loud like no one’s watching.
2. Eat it out. Just this once.
3. Listen to music.
4. Break your habit just for one day.
5. Have a relaxing bath
6. Light that candle. Explore those aroma varieties!
7. Take a walk.
8. Have a foot spa.
9. Keep a diary.
10. Sleep.
11. Make your own 3-year calendar and put those important dates in it especially your love ones’ birthdates!
12. Befriend yourself, and learn to chill.
13. Watch a movie.
14. Talk to a friend or two.
15. Go shopping.
16. Draw or paint.
17. Cook your favorite meal!
18. Take a selfie with a wide grin.
19. Start a scrap book or a photo album.
20. Have a cup of coffee.
21. Do sports.
22. Sing!
23. Jog.
24. Laugh!

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Next time you’re stressed:
Take a step back, inhale and laugh. Remember who you are and why you’re here. You’re never given anything in this world that you can’t handle. Be strong, be flexible, love yourself, and love others. Always just keep moving forward. ~unknown source

FINAL THOUGHTS:

When you’re stressed, remember to stop for a while and at least let your mind goes where it wants to.. just drift away… and then finally.. when you find your focus, go back to the battle. But remember that it’s always nice to take a step back once in a while, it will make you see things clearly, and do things wiser.  Good luck!

The list goes on! What do you do when you’re stressed? Tell us, so we can help others, too!

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10+ Signs You’ve Become a Better Version of Yourself

“The safest principle through Life, instead of reforming others, is to set about PERFECTING YOURSELF.” -B. R. Haydon

There are times in your life when you stop for a while and you try to assess yourself. Have you become better after all these years? Comparing to the “Past You,” do you think you have improved? Have you become the person you dream to be?
Self-evaluation from time to time will help us get ahead from our older selves and keep us in line with our goals and aspirations. So here is a check list to help us appraise ourselves.

ACCEPTING CRITICISMS POSITIVELY

Remember the time when a certain Teacher back in school tried to correct you and yet you didn’t actually listen because you think she was just mocking you in class? I once taught to students before, and it dawned on me that the only reason why teachers check their students is because they want them to be correct, nothing else.
This time is different. Now you think healthy criticisms will make you better and will help you improve your skills in your career. That’s why, you accept them whole heartedly and happily even if sometimes it crushes your bones.

LOOKING DOWN ON A PERSON ONLY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP THEM

“We rise by lifting others.”

When we were younger, social status was so important to us that at least once, we tried choosing our friends from the status they’re in (especially during grade school). As you mature, social status doesn’t matter to you at all. The only time you look down on someone is when you are trying to pull them up; to get in their shoes to better understand them. You only think the best way to help them is to know where they were coming from and try to start from there.

BECOMING EVEN CLOSER TO THE CREATOR

Right now, you believe the indispensable truth that there is a Creator of everything you see in the world. You perfectly know that without His guidance, you will not be able to get by even in a single day or two. You believe that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you know that He is with you at all times keeping you safe and guiding you through the perfect path He prepared for you.

NOT MINDING OTHER’S OPINION OF YOUR CHOICES IN LIFE

I can’t tell tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Ed Sheeran

Now that you have grown maturely, opinion of other people doesn’t matter to you at all especially when you are making your own decisions. Only yours and your love ones’ opinion matter now. That being said, you realize that people will always talk behind your back even when things are done or not. So you just mind your own business instead, and focus your target straight through your goals with a bull’s eye.

TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR OWN MONEY

“The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your terms.”

Now that you know how hard money is earned, you are not easily get carried away when you see a SALE sign posted on the walls of your favorite stores. You prioritise the need to meet your own necessities first, and thinking of saving a bigger amount, before cashing out money to buy your dream Chanel or Fendi bag or that MK watch you kept on seeing since last month. Compared to the past you, right now, you know how important money is and how a single refusal from your “wants” can move mountains if you put it in a good investment. Now you’re thinking of investing some amount of money for the future and you’re also considering long-term goals, even excited about joining retirement plans.

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CELEBRATING YOUR FAMILY’S UNIQUENESS

Before, when you see a happy, well-heeled family, you know from your heart you also want your family to be like that, and you get so envy you over compared your own family’s capability of providing for your needs. But this time is different, you realise the value of your family and you are proud of every effort they make. Now you know how different families are, and you know that no amount of money can buy your own family’s concord. You also know that whatever it is you are doing right now, it is because you have an ultimate goal for your family to jubilate later on.

ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF YOUR OWN SELF

KEEP CALM CAUSE I LOVE TO BE ALONE

Right now, “Me” time is no fuss to you. You even enjoy going to the mall alone, or walking leisurely in the park, or even traveling alone. You don’t have any problem going solo because you have turned into an independent, self-supporting person that you are right now.

TREASURING YOUR OLD FRIENDS & TAKING CARE OF NEW ONES

It takes time and some amount of hurdled hills to know who your real friends are. Luckily, you have your own friends and true enough, you have let time decide whether who’s staying or not. You know how important some minutes of Skype calls compared to long hours of chitchats when you were together. Even if you don’t talk constantly, and you are miles apart, you know from your heart that your friendship has gone through hard times that no amount of distance can separate you.

BEING OPEN-MINDED

Open our mind before your mouth.

Right now you believe that the world is changing so fast that almost everyday a breakthrough is being invented. What has been true before, might not be true today. So you become more adaptive to situations right now and you are open to sudden changes. You believe that even if others’ thoughts are not the same with yours, you know how important it is knowing that they have their own intellectuality and you respect it.

MEETING NEW PEOPLE DOESN’T SCARE YOU

Good things happen when you meet strangers

Self-contentment is a thing majority of people believe will help them succeed, but actually, nobody realizes their goals unless they conspire with others. Hence, you know how important it is to become socially active. This time, meeting people is a pleasure. You get more interested by their own stories, rather than bragging about yourself. And when you see them again, you do not remember them by the clothes they were wearing that night but by the depth of conversation you had.

PRIORITIZING OTHERS & LEARNING HOW TO COMPROMISE

Compromise need not mean cowardice.

When you were younger, you believe that the only person you have to satisfy is yourself. So you were selfish and everything you did was for your own sake. This time, you know how important others are  as  you are, so you learn how to compromise. By this, you got kinder and more generous to other people. You know that you will not always get what you want because others should be placed first before yourself.
Asking yourself “what’s in it for me?” doesn’t matter sometimes because you believe that others have needs, too, so you deny yourself of your wants and needs.. Hence, you became more self-less and compassionate.

ASKING MORE QUESTIONS

Don’t be afraid of the answers, be afraid of not asking the questions. -Jennifer Hudson

I remember my classmate in language class, when he tried to belittle me because I kept asking questions. Later on I think he got his doom when he didn’t actually pass a certain exam. Asking questions will not be a matter of life and death to you right now because you know perfectly that asking questions doesn’t make you less of a person. You do not want to commit mistakes later on so you are just being proactive.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

When you choose your behavior, you choose your consequences. -Dr. Phil

You know very well that what you are doing right now will greatly dictate what you will become in the future. So even the slightest detail in your work or a big decision to make matter to you. You know that you are responsible for your own actions and words so you become more careful with what you do and say.

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NOT LIVING IN THE PAST

Here’s to the future because I’m done with the past.

Some of us think that we have already moved on from the past, however, little did we know that a small glimpse from the past, frequently thought of everyday means we are still living there. Now, try to reminisce, when was the last time you had a great achievement? Was it when you got your college diploma? Or just recently when you got a promotion? Or the other day when you dined out with your family? Whatever it is that we think is important to us, however big or small, matters. However, when we look back and think that the past is better than today, well, maybe you have to re-evaluate yourself.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Being better than we were before entails a lifetime commitment. It is not a pill which we can take tonight and hola! tomorrow we transform. No. It takes time to learn and change for the better, but one thing is for sure, it will all start from a DECISION.

 

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11 Life Lessons From A Soldier’s Perspective

As I read the entries, I realized, marami pa akong hindi alam sa buhay, I should really ponder on these things and actually discern kung nagagawa ko bang maging mabuti, to outgrow my immaturity and to become a better version of myself. Be positive! Fight! Fight!

This is an article contributed by a close friend of mine who happens to be a Junior Officer in the Philippine Army.

Read On:

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1. Respect and love your parents

Kasi mga magulang mo sila kahit na anong mangyari. Cherish every moment with them.

2. Make good and unforgettable memories with your siblings

Ang mga kapatid, walang kapalit din yan..I n short, mahalaga talaga ang foundation ng family.

3. Pagdating sa friends, habang tumatanda tayo, real friends will remain

Iba ang friends sa magkakilala lang.

4. Learning never stops

Dapat as early as now, pinapahalagahan mo na ang mga natutunan mo. Para pagdating ng panahon, mai-apply mo nang tama.. Also, as we grow old, maiisip natin na lahat ng mga nangyayari sa atin, may lessons learned iyan.

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5. A good heart will never fade

Attitude matters talaga.. Pwedeng mag-fade away ang physical beauty, pero ang ugali ng isang tao, hndi makakalimutan.. Masama man or mabuti, diyan ka maaalala.. sa ugali mo..

6. Simplicity is beauty

Minsan maisip mo na okay rin pala kahit simple ka lang. Nasa confidence mo iyan. Makikita mo kasi ang beauty ng tao kapag wala siyang kahit na anong gamit or suot, through her smile , or through her eyes.. Ganun lang..

7. Life is simple

Do not over-stress yourself. Hindi mo naman kailangan patulan lahat ng issues na naririnig mo. Malulungkot ka lang. Kung hindi naman big deal, huwag ka dapat maging affected.

8. Be humble

Kung talagang may pagkakamali ka, embrace it and learn to say sorry. Be humble. Tao lang tayo, walang perfect sa atin. Lahat may mga failures and pagkakamali.

9. Gaano man kahirap or kasakit ang dinaranas mong mga problema, tuloy pa rin ang buhay

Depende lang iyan kung paano ka lumaban and paano mo i-handle ang mga problema mo.. Okay lang umiyak.. Ilabas mo lang. Ang importante fighting ka pa rin. Sabi nga doon sa Dont quit, REST IF YOU MUST BUT DONT YOU QUIT.

10.

Kahit gaano man kataas ang mga pangarap natin and kahit gaano man kalayo ang mga narating natin sa buhay, babalik and babalik tayo sa simpleng buhay kasama ang family natin. Time will come na masaya na tayo sa isang scenic view, drinking coffee.. Iyong tipong marealize mo na at least nakaya mo ang lahat.. Simple lang.. Pero masaya.

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11. Self-love is important

Self-love includes self respect and self-esteem.. Kasi kung darating sa point na mararamdaman mong wala nang ngmamahal sayo, at least maisip mo na mahal mo pala ang sarili mo. Kapag nakita ng ibang tao na you have self-respect, they will also respect you.. and tsaka mo lang masasabing kaya mo nang magmahal ng iba kapag you have already given enough love for yourself.. walang ibang magmamahal sayo kundi sarili mo lang din.

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