How To Avoid Heated Arguments

It’s You & Me VS. The Problem NOT You VS. Me

Since marami sa inyo, Readers natin, ang nagme-message sa PMG dahil sa kanilang mga heartbroken stories, tampuhan, and mga away na nagsimula lang sa “pagka-miss” and all… Tonight, ito iyong topic natin…

HOW TO AVOID HEATED ARGUMENTS

“Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” -Sancho

I am not saying na kami ni Sancho, hindi kami nagdadaan sa mga problema, kasi kung hindi rin kami nagdaan sa mga tampuhan or mga break up stories, hindi kami magiging matibay at aabot sa 8 years hehe… pero iyang nga, ganiyan sinasabi niya kapag inaaway ko siya… “Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” Ang sweet ‘no? Haha Pero hindi iyan sweet ‘pag beast mode ka. LOL

Yes, normal lang magkaroon ng tampuhan… Pero hindi ito ang dahilan para mag-away na kayo. Magtatampuhan, pero magpapatawaran din sa bandang huli. Ganito kasi ‘yan e, kapag meron kayong arguments, lagi niyong titignan iyong sarili niyo objectively, at kung ano ba talaga iyong issue. Hindi iyong, “Ikaw kasi e…” Hindi ganun.. Haha siyempre sa mga Ladies na medyo bagets bagets pa, mapupusok pa ang damdamin, huminahon lang tayo… Huwag na huwag magbibitiw ng masasakit na salita na hindi na natin kayang bawiin.

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Okay, nag-away kayo kasi hindi siya nakapag-reply agad o kaya umalis siya sa kalagitnaan ng heated argument kasi hindi mo alam, baka rin may duty siya di ba o tinawag ng Upper Class or ni Bossing… Minsan kasi nagsisimulang lumala ang isang tampuhan, magiging away, kapag tayong girls, uminit na ang ulo o kaya naman, napikon… hahaha lagi namang ganun di ba.. siyempre babae lang din tayo, marami tayong intensed or extreme emotions.. Hormonal? Lol

Una rin kasi sa lahat, napipikon tayo kasi nga hindi nila nami-meet iyong expectations natin… Arguments start with unmet expectations. Ito observation ko lang sa relasyon namin ha… In-assess ko kasi sarili ko e, madalas kasi akong mainis dati sa kaniya kapag seen lang message ko or kapag may sinasabi ako na parang hindi naman niya siniseryoso, lalung-lalo pa kapag may important discussion kami tapos bigla na lang siyang umaalis ng walang paalam..

Di ba, nakakainis naman talagay iyon? Hahaha… Natanong ko sa sarili ko, napakadaling intindihin naman sana na may trabaho iyong tao, kaya siya biglang umaalis or what… tapos ako bakit ako maiinis? Kasi nga, gaya ng sabi ko, unmet expectations. Ine-expect ko kasi sa kaniya, pakikinggan niya ako, that we’ll discuss things thoroughly ganiyan, o kaya magiging sobrang available siya sa akin, kasi nga, hello, girlfriend niya ako. Iyan iyong mga expectations ko, pero hindi niya nami-meet because of some reasons—reasons na valid naman di ba?

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Everytime na nag-away kayo, huwag kaagad maninisi. Alamin mo muna kung anong dahilan bakit in the first place, seen zone ka lang, o kaya hindi siya kaagad naka-reply or what.. Sabi nga nila, give the benefit of the doubt... Sige, para sa mga bata pa na hindi masyadong maiintindihan iyan (kasi ako rin noon inaamin ko hindi ko talaga iyan ma-gets haha), ano ba iyong benefit of the doubt? Ito iyong bibigyan mo iyong tao ng “space” para sa mga bagay na “nagawa” na niya na hindi dapat magawa kasi ina-accept mo iyong possibility na meron siyang valid explanation kung bakit niya iyon nagawa–don’t get me wrong when I say, “bagay na nagawa niya” ha, iba pa rin iyong mambabae siya or what ibang usapan na iyon… What I’m trying to say is, iyong mga bagay na nagawa niya na kinasama ng loob mo like seen zone ka, or hindi ka niya natawagan ng ilang araw…

Everytime na darating tayo sa point na mag-aaway, or siya iyong pinaka-nakakainis na tao at the moment, lagi mong tatanungin iyong sarili mo, bakit ka ba talaga nagagalit? Sabihin mo nga sa sarili mo ano na lang ba iyong dahilan na magalit ka na lang ng ganiyan? Kung may point ka naman kung bakit ka nainis sa kaniya, huminahon ka muna bago mo siya kausapin… YOU and HIM versus the problem, NOT you versus him. Ok?

Tignan mo lagi ang situation objectively, ano ba talaga ang nangyari? May reason ba siya na gawin iyon? Nag-sorry na ba siya? Nagpaliwanag na ba siya? Bago ang lahat, kinalma mo na ba iyong sarili mo? Ok kung ok na lahat ng mga iyan, this time, pag-usapan niyong dalawa na parang teammates, ano ba iyong pwede niyong gawin para hindi na iyon mangyari. Pwede bang, i-message ka muna niya bago siya umalis or before hand magsabi na siya na magiging busy ka para kapag naputol ang usapan niyo, alam mo na na busy na siya. Pag-usapan niyo ano ang dapat niyong gawin. Pareho kayong matatalinong tao, at kaya niyo iyan pag-usapan.

OPEN COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy and lasting relationship. Dapat marunong kayong mag-communicate ng feelings niyo sa isa’t isa through words, bakit ka galit, bakit ka nainis, bakit ka masaya, bakit ka in love, mga bagay na sobrang importante.

Kasi sa relationship natin, bihira tayong magkita, kaya kahit na gusto mo na lang sana ay yakapin ka niya para hindi ka na galit, e hindi naman niya iyon magagawa diba? Wish niya lang hahaha… Pinagseseparate kayo ng malayong distansiya e… and since LDR tayo, tandaan mo ‘to, 97percent of Communication is NON-VERBAL. May 3percent lang tayong kailangang gamitin sa tamang paraan para healthy ang relationship natin.. Kasi, iyong part na NON-VERBAL, hindi mo naman iyon magagawa di ba? hehehe so make the most out of the 3percent na natitira which is iyong VERBAL part.

REMEMBER: Bago ka magsalita, huminahon ka muna. Iyan ang totoong Military Girlfriend/Military Wife, laging kalmado iyan.

This is it for tonight, I hope marami kang napulot na lesson sa aking post na ito, paki-tag mo iyong love of your life para ma-open iyong mind niya na meron siyang mga expectations na kailangang i-meet para ikaw laging masaya, haha because remember, Happy Wife (or GF), Happy Life! Lol Para ‘di siya miserable ‘pag inaway-away mo. lol

“Baby, just because we have arguments doesn’t mean I’m going to break up with you. I love you.”

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 above photo from freestocks.org via pexels.com

 

Dearest Kaydet Girl: If He Cheats On You, You Deserve Someone Better!

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

(2018/1/9) I am writing this right now because earlier this morning, a Follower of PMG messaged me and was asking for pieces of advice. I don’t know if you are reading this, but I hope you will, sometime soon.

To give you a little background, she “was” a Kaydet Girl; she just recently ended the relationship with her Cadet Boyfriend, because she found out he was pursuing another girl.

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Sad, right? But actually, even if you think it is sad, that you’ve broken things up with the person you love, I say, you are actually beyond blessed.

Why?

Just imagine yourself with that kind of person. He already has a Girlfriend, but still pursues other women, what a horrible man! I commend you for ending it with him because at some point you will realize, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, after all of your love and sincerity. What if you’ve forgiven him and accepted him, anyway? Chances are, he will do it again. Believe it or not, nagawa na niya dati, magagawa niya uli (He has done it before, he will do it again). I’ve read a lot of books; met a lot of people; heard a lot of stories; and one thing I observed from cheaters: forgive me from saying this, once a cheater, always a cheater. Again, I’m so sorry for saying this. (Please don’t get me wrong, some of them really changed, but majority or almost all of those people I know who cheated from their partners, actually did it again, and this time, to the one he first cheated on his girlfriend with.)

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TO ALL THE GIRLS WHO WERE CHEATED ON, and TO YOU, BELOVED PMG READER: You may have heard this a lot of times, but let me say it again, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Yes, I know, it could hurt so much you couldn’t almost feel your heartbeat; neither will you know you are still alive because you are only floating, nor you couldn’t see you are actually existing because all you think of, no matter how much you try to forget, is that throbbing pain you feel from the moment you wake up, not to mention every waking moment until you luckily fall asleep. I know it’s hard. But remember, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I’m telling you, it’s time to let go. One day, this will all be a memory, and you’ll be just fine. Take that deepest breath, and move on. It’s time.

TO ALL THE CHEATERS, and TO YOU CADET: If you’re going to cheat, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship. Grow up and treat people like people instead of tools in your selfish ego workshop.

I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back, eventual happiness. But as I sit here with stones in my chest, where hope used to lie, I have come to the realization that there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you. SL via WordPorn

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Caps Lock CIL: The Unrequited Love

“Cupid sometimes runs out of arrows and only shoots one person instead of two.”

Once in our life, we experience loving someone without the knowledge of the person. We know how stupid the idea is, but we cannot help but choosing loving from a distance, because, at least, from there, we could express our feelings. Here is one good epitome of someone who chose to love from afar, and hoped, at least for once, that her love will be reciprocated.

(This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2013. Original title: “CAPS LOCK”)

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Caps Lock

by Nuela Gracia F. Posadas

As we drive along the zigzag mud, I prayed to God
to keep this off my chest. I guessed He did, at least for a while.
Maybe I am unconsciously drawn to your world.
Maybe I do too, at the very rarest of times.
I believe that I belong to you as immediate family.
And this feeling attacks when I least expect it
When I am not in my best dress, When I did not get to shower,
and when I did not have the COURAGE to tell you.
And so I go on with my routine in life
smiling when not supposed to, running countless miles
to maintain my Superman strength disguised by my stick thin body,
juggling everything is served before me,
carrying that INTEGRITY you were always preaching excessively.
I become too preoccupied to even think about it, or perhaps about myself.
And yes, one day at a time, I go on with my random life;
lazing around in the mornings, skipping meals,
sleeping until my head hurts, and thinking about you until my heart breaks.
Yes, I think about you. I think about you all the time.
I sustain my LOYALTY to you even if I don’t have to,
even if there seems to be no apparent reason.
You, instead, go on with your life unaware of the single soul
wide awake on your lower bunk,
writing this note for the source of her unreciprocated love.
You go on…
You go on without the slightest idea.

***

“At least even for a little while, I was the reason behind your smile.”

Above Photo via picjumbo.com

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The Break-Up Story

Chapter 1: The Day I Got Over You

Chapter 2: The Art of Moving On

Chapter 3: Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Chapter 4: To The Person Who Broke My Heart

Chapter 5: When Letting Go Is The Only Choice

After realizing I did everything to work things out, and tried to make amendments and bargain, I realized, I was so stupid to have gotten into this kind of situation, and staying in it for a bit longer. The worst part was, I was the only one who tried to fix everything. I was the only one who gave enough effort to put things back together. Because from the day you told me that you needed space, I never heard from you again.

Please do not blame me for letting us go on our separate ways, because from the time I felt you were getting cold, to the point that you never contacted me for a long time, it’s as if you just abandoned me. You never told me what you really wanted, you never asked me to listen or to understand you, you just left me hanging, and wondering what really went wrong. I’m sorry for doubting you for some time, because I believe, I also deserve some explanation.

The saddest part in our break-up was you didn’t tell me what went wrong, and what made you go. It’s more than acceptable to let you go knowing that you fell out of love, or you met someone else along the way. But we never had any discussion; and right now, that makes me even more aggressive to want to talk to you.

I know, it’s a bit absurd and unnecessary to communicate my feelings or doubts to you because that’s very pointless. The damage has been done, and I think, the only way I can do is to move on and let you go.

Lying in my cold room in this hot afternoon, I can see the sun rays penetrating through my glass doors, as I try to let go of my worries, I got up, and I realized there’s more to life than being worried sick or being lonely. I stood up in front of my study table, and for the nth time that I’m seeing this poster, I realized it has a point.

On my wall, written in bold letters, Someday, Someone will walk into your life, and make you realize, why it never worked out with anyone else.
I know, I never had any choice at all, because all you wanted was your life without me in it, and I know, you never want to see me again. I love you, or I must say, I loved you, but you chose to leave me, and I think it’s time to move on.

“You let go a long time ago, and I realize that, it’s time for me to do the same.”

Above photo from Matheus Bertelli via pexels.com

To The Person Who Broke My Heart

The Break-Up Story

Chapter 1: The Day I Got Over You

Chapter 2: The Art of Moving On

Chapter 3: Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Chapter 4: To The Person Who Broke My Heart

Remembering that today is supposed to be our anniversary, admittedly, I feel a little bit of sadness. I was so resentful by the fact that all the uttered words and promises were only turned to lies and total dishonesty. Then again, my heart pounded so hard, with my hands shaking a little bit.

As I was looking for my journal, I passed through my life-sized mirror, and then I saw myself. I’ve gotten a little bit thinner, my eyes are growing old, and each circle has gotten even darker. I passed by the mirror looked at myself with a wooden face. It came to me, I was lost in a sea of nameless faces. What a disaster. Honestly. I need to take care of myself a little bit more.
As I reached for my journal on the topmost part of my shelf, something fell from above, it tapped my head slightly, and down it goes to the floor. It was a picture. It was a picture of us. When there was still “you and me.” ‘Another object to burn,’ I babbled.

I got back to my study table, opened my drawer and found some pieces of stationery I used to write my thoughts on, when we were still exchanging letters. With our picture together, and the stationery aside, the mood of writing you got into me. I just want to let you know everything I’m going through. I don’t have the intention to send it to you, or I might, but I will decide on that later on.

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So I started writing…

20XX August 21 Friday1645H
Dear Ex ,

A few years ago, incidentally, we met. Looking back, I never imagined we would ever be in a relationship, because we were only friends then, who enjoyed the company of each other. Then we started a life together, but now, we ended up broken and frail. (I don’t know with you, but honestly, I am really having a tough time right now.)What I could tell you is that I would never regret the day I met you. Because then, I met one great love. I don’t want to conclude that all we have was difficult and bitter moments, because honestly, I really thought you were already “The One,” especially when we were only starting; and everyday we have were only days of bliss.

When we were still together, I dread the thoughts of us separating or breaking apart … before, those were my thoughts of fear, but, right now, it turned into a painful reality. I am not saying that I love the idea of us breaking apart , because even if you cannot see it, I am really just holding on to the idea that I’m going to be okay soon. Every day is a struggle. Every day I keep on convincing myself that it will soon get better. However difficult it is, I’m trying, day by day.

I am writing you this letter because I want to thank you. Thank you for having known you, because I know once in my life, I had the opportunity to experience being with a kind-hearted person like you. Thank you for all the times we shared because for me, those days were the best days, yet. Even if those times will only stay as memories, still, thank you.

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Thank you for letting me love you, because I learned how to be selfless. Thank you for breaking up with me because I learned the pain of loss. Thank you for the depth of pain I am experiencing now, because I know it is also the depth of love I could give to the person I will ever love again.

Lastly, thank you for everything. I may not be able to be with you to witness your dreams turning into reality, somewhere beneath the clouds and the mountains, and from a thousand miles away, I will always pray for you so the desires of your heart will be realized.

Even if our relationship has reached its separate crossroads, I know everything happens for a reason.

For everything, thank you.

Above photo fromTobi via pexels.com

Continue Reading: When Letting Go Is The Only Choice

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Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

The Break-Up Story

Chapter 1: The Day I Got Over You

Chapter 2: The Art of Moving On

 Chapter 3: Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Whew. What a long day. I got back to my room without the intention of doing anything at all. I changed my clothes to my usual comfy Pjs and turned my radio on, with its maximum possible volume. I made sure my veranda is tightly closed so that my neighbors will not be disturbed by my loud music.

As I hear my make-me-feel-good song, Over You (Daughtry), my favorite song, at least for now, I just let my heart out and try to relive every word in it. I no longer care. I just sing as loud as possible until I can’t hear my voice anymore with its loudness.

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Well, I never saw it coming.

I should’ve started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I’d doubt you,

I’m better off without you

More than you, more than you know.

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

I never imagined myself liking this alternative kind of music but it really helped me get by every idle hour I have—alone by myself. Singing this song helped me become more huge and powerful.
Days gone by, I managed to survive every single day even without the company of my friends, because I know they also have errands to do, not just to take care of me. I got used to being with the company of my own self and I enjoyed every moment of alone time.

I sat down for a while, faced my study table and grabbed my journal. I scanned the pages and I saw my scribbles: my first name in his last. What-might-have-been my future name if I were to marry him in the future. What a jerk. Without even thinking, I tear off the page, crumpled it until I couldn’t give any more strength from my fist. I tried to do it again, until I attempted to tear it apart one part after another. Upon reaching my satisfaction to its very end, I flushed the pieces of paper down the drain—without looking back.

In my journal I started a new page, I wrote the usuals. The date today, the day, and the time. I begun with. “Where Do I Start From Here?” I thought of using bullets as my guide to a wonderful life celebrating my independence . I realized, Yay! I’m finally free! Free from the stress you were constantly giving me. Free from all those sleepless nights when I cry myself to sleep. Free from emotional harassment and the physical pain I felt right from the heart continuing through out my whole chest. Free from the thoughts of you hurting me again, with countless arguments we had when we were still together.

I started thinking what to write, then suddenly I realized that after this painful break-up, I only have two choices. It’s either to stay broken, or to start a new life. I chose the latter. So I started writing, #1 START A NEW LIFE. I know, everything will be new to me because you are no longer a part of my future plans. But that’s fine, because I now believe, I’m better off without you.
I continue to write and here’s what I ended up with:

20XX August 19 Thursday 1730Where Do I Start From Here?#1: START A NEW LIFE

      • Collect all his stuff and , or burn them! Oh and Clean my room.
      • Rearrange everything in my room!
      • Buy something new for my room (a vase, a poster, something new!) Oh, don’t forget to buy scented
      • candles!
      • Have a haircut
      • Treat myself in my favorite restaurant
      • Foot spa, Mani-Pedi
      • Bring out the artist in me (buy water-based paint and canvass and try painting using my barehands)
      • Why not… Adopt a puppy?
      • Finally enroll in postgrad
      • Short Course?
      • Travel Alone! First Destination: ______
      • Buy a new set of make-up, experiment; You Tube Tutorials)
      • Buy a new dress
      • Clean my closet
      • Start reading!
      • Collect something from now on
      • Visit Mom and Dad
      • Talk to a long lost friend
      • Start jogging?
      • Volunteer!
      • Watch a Movie Alone
      • Divert!
      • Divert!
      • Divert!

    I don’t even know where to start because I want to speed it up so that I could be better in a faster, unimaginable time. At first, I thought I want to get back on you for every pain you caused me, but later on I realized, it’s not worth it… for now, I will focus on becoming better. I want to gain myself back. I want to become what I might have been if I haven’t loved you. I want to become better again, and I want to start a new life free from the pain of the past.

    Above photo from Garon Piceli via pexels.com

    Continue Reading: To The Person Who Broke My Heart

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The Art of Moving On

The Break-Up Story

Chapter 1: The Day I Got Over You

Chapter 2: The Art Of Moving On

Sitting by the doorway of my veranda connecting to my room, I grabbed the hot cup of coffee which I transferred in a wide-mouthed mug, I just let my skin feel the heat from the sun rays while holding my mug with both hands; and just let my palms feel the warmth of it, as I smell that distinct aroma. I realized, this day, I know I’m whole again.

Weeks have passed since I decided to move on, and get back on my feet. However impossible it was to survive a single day, I tried. I wasn’t sure if I will be able to get there, but I know for a fact I will. I cried my heart out, and just let myself feel that sharp and throbbing pain coming from my chest, radiating to my arms and gut, because the thought of you leaving is what I dreaded ever since.

This time, I realized you will no longer be with me, because I know, I am not your happiness. Looking back from all the things we did, and all the memories we shared, I know this may also give you pain, however difficult it is, I’m sure, you will no longer look for my comfort.

My life has been meaningful while I was with you, but thanks to all the pain I got, and the tears I shed, because now, I can see clearly. You were not the man for me, and this time, I’ve already accepted it.

What helped me moved on? I can’t really recall. What I did was to take one day at a time. One day at a time to feel that excruciating pain I got from breaking up with you. One day at a time to smile, no matter how difficult it was, I still did. One day at at time to put away all the things which reminded me of you, and one day at a time to feel stronger as I try to survive one day at a time.

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Days have passed, I didn’t notice how the days gone so swiftly. I never intended to make others think I was not affected by our break up, but I just promised myself, I never want to be alone physically, as I try to forget you. So I decided to surround myself with people. I let them decide where to eat, what to do, or where to go. Because without them, I won’t be able to have any direction. We never talked about it because I asked them not to. I just faked my smiles, joined them with their loud laughters, and wore that party hat. Because I believe, no matter how difficult others will understand, I believe that I don’t owe anybody any explanation on how to fix myself. I just wanted to be okay.

Every single day I tried, no matter how difficult it was. I faked my smiles and laughters. I decided to be okay, and just keep on faking it…. until I made it… and now, I’m whole again…

Above photo from it’s me neosiam via pexels.com

Continue Reading: Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Bakit Maraming Filipino Ang Naghihirap At Paano Mo Makokopya Ang Mga Milyonaryong Filipino? FIND OUT HERE

The Day I Got Over You

 

The Break-Up Story

Chapter 1: The Day I Got Over You

As I remember it vividly, thoughts from the past dawned on me, and had me pull over my sheets and attempted to curl my knees directing it to my whole heart, hoping not to feel that pain again. Thanks to the cool temperature of my AC, I almost had my flashback perfect as I feel the chill penetrating deep inside my bones, as if I am inside a cold and dark dungeon. As I try to remember it, I thought I wasn’t ready, but thanks to all the days I was just getting by; and those months I tried to bury every hurt that thrust my heart every now and then, because then, I’ve gotten perfectly strong and insurmountable.

The -5degC frostiness of my room woke me up, I tried to relax and just let my feelings drift me away. I was expecting to cry for a while, but this time, I wasn’t in the mood to cry again… because this time was different. I stretch my arms and legs and as I try to feel my heart beat, I wasn’t sure I was fine, but I still got up from my bed, turned off the AC, and pulled the curtains of my veranda to see the sun shining and feeling its heat right in my face.

As I see the same men down the building from my 4th floor hotel room, having their regular morning exercise, the wind blew my cheeks. As it flies my hair away from its place, I started to feel again. I thought, this time was different. I thought, this time it will only be me. A world full of colors and happiness as I try to put you aside and lock you behind the bars of the past. This time, this life is about me, and this time, it just occurred to me that the future belongs to me, without you in it.

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As I smell the coffee brewing from my handy coffee press, I smell tomorrow as if I am huge, and indestructible. Remembering all the thoughts which made me stayed between being alive and being dead, I realize you really do not belong to me anymore, and that’s fine. Because this time, myself belongs to me.
As I drink the caffeine, slowly tasting its very taste, I tasted bitterness and sweetness which made me think that this is really what I need. Fusing two entities of positivity and negativity, and getting used to it as I try to get back on my feet.

This time, I woke up, and I just realized, I just got over you.
The dayI got over you….
…is the day I stopped thinking of our future together
…is the day I stopped hoping about us
…is the day I think of you without being hurt
…is the day I think of related things about you, but it doesn’t hurt anymore
…is the day I can think of things without thinking of you
…is the day I can think clearer about my future without you in it
…is the day I woke up, and I’m happy again

Above photo from Trinity Kubassek via pexels.com

CONTINUE READING: The Art of Moving On

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