The Great “TAKE LIFE” Experience

Disclaimer: This is a love story. LOL You will not be able to see/read any heroic deed done by a Soldier in the battle of some sort, hence, this is a story of a Soldier Boyfriend who took every difficulty into an opportunity to prove his love to his girlfriend.

***This is a story about a “take-life” out-of-the-country travel.

EI: “Take Life” (def: anything done against the rules) more definition of terms below

A LITTLE BACKGROUND. It was our first time to travel outside the country. But not the typical type of “travel” where both of you availed a promo a year earlier from an agency and together you go and enjoy a 2n3d tour. It’s more of a “visit” I think; him, coming to see me here in Japan. I’ve been here for almost 3 years now for school and work.

Unfortunately, my Dad passed away earlier this year (Read: To Moving Forward), it was devastating, I don’t know if I could still make it in life without my Father. I was so close to my Dad since I was the only girl among 5 siblings (I am 2nd to the last according to birth order), and I communicate with my Dad every single day especially when I was already working overseas. I didn’t see it coming, and still, up ‘til now, thinking about my future without my Dad is horrifying—that every single day when I wake up, I couldn’t find will to live. This prompted my boyfriend to get his visa to visit me here, to know if I was really doing ok. Even if he knows he has to go through tedious process of acquiring a visa despite his busy schedule, you know, he is a Junior Officer in the Army, that means he only gets to have vacation during their R&R (which he could use to complete the requirements for the Visa).

I won’t continue my story about my loss or anything that will make you feel sad because believe it or not, I get too sad easily, too. Hehe Dapat happy lang lagi diba? I am writing this article to share to you how my boyfriend beat the odds of acquiring a Japanese Visa and how we experienced the first trip we had internationally.

We have some experiences roaming around far flung areas in the Philippines, given that he was assigned to the South (we are both from the Northern part of the country). We tried going to places where there was no electricity, no phone site, the roads were eaten by wild grass and the trail were bitten paths; not only that, the walls of your room were only Mcgyvered military rain coats and your bed was military folding bed beside gallons of gasoline supply and arms and ammos. We survived it. We’re both simple individuals so whatever the situation is, I think we could make it through and could make the best out of any circumstance. But this abroad experience of ours is kind of amazing. It will be one of my favorite adventures.

Japan is only 4 hour-plane ride from the Philippines. Many yuppies visit Japan to unleash their otaku inside. It is very possible and somehow very easy for others to get Japanese Tourist Visa after completing paper requirements which they get from different government offices, but for a Soldier, it’s kind of impossible, unless mag-take life.

So there he was with his burning desire to see my face in flesh, hoping that all the circumstances will conspire to make his trip smooth. First, he completed all the requirements to be submitted for visa approval. Not to mention how it cost him extra bucks for the visa assistance fee, and his unending take life from the CP to the city where he is assigned to get the papers ready. (Imagine how long and grueling the hours of trip from the mountains down to the city where there is civilization, I know, because I’ve tried visiting him in the CP.)

Even before submitting the papers for visa approval, due to his excitement, he already bought plane tickets way earlier than his planned visit. Hehe ganun niya ako ka-miss.

He was very excited to complete the papers and this time, it is in the hands of Japan Embassy if he gets to see me or not. It took him a couple of days to be able to know the results, and luckily, the universe conspired, his visa was APPROVED.

He was given 3 long months of Tourist Visa. If only he could stay that long, I’d be very eager to take care of him even after every tiring day from work and school. Hihihi Kilig much naman, pero I booked him for 11 days only, his R&R was only 15 days and manggagaling pa siyang Mindanao.

On the day of his flight, we both hoped for it to be smooth and it did, for the earlier part of his entry to the boarding area until the Philippine Immigration section where he was grilled. The Immigration Officer was asking for his R&R permit/letter from his Boss. Oh my. It was 5am! How will he produce that kind of paper at these wee hours of sleep?

At that very moment he was still able to message me to inform me that he was asked to come in the Immigration Office because of his papers (or because they’ve learned that he was a Soldier that’s why they were strict to him haaays!).

Meanwhile, that exact time, I was having breakfast at the nearest Mcdonald’s before my airport limo bus arrives. We were only communicating through FB Messenger and I was using McDo’s WIFI. Lol I was so worried that even the WIFI connection got lost and I don’t know how to contact him. (I’ve already been living in Japan for almost 3 years without phone line/personal WIFI; imagine how thrifty I am! Haha I am only using free WIFI the whole time for 3 years!)

Is he going to be ok? Will he still be able to ride his plane? Will I still have to go to the airport without the certainty if he comes or must I now head back home? I was spiraling. I was with my Japanese friend that time and because my friend was also stressed out because of the immigration issue of my beloved boyfriend, it caused her to light a cigarette. Haha. Napa-yosi pa siya dahil sa kaba. She was sharing the same emotions with mine. Haha. But going back to reality, I really don’t know if he passed the Immigration, but I trusted my guts and still rode the limousine bus heading to the airport. It was 4 hours of WIFI-less ride, imagine how worried I was the whole trip, but I still managed to sleep, haha galing pa kasi akong duty nito, I was so tired, I couldn’t help it.

Blessed enough, his Mistah, the very person who can only give out official papers/permits in the Battalion was awakened by my boyfriend’s call. He responded immediately with a scanned permit allowing him to travel outside the Phils, with my Japan address, and his Mistah’s very important signature. We were very lucky.

I faded off to sleep for a couple of hours, and I arrived safely at KIX. As I opened my phone, it kept vibrating as if my phone was committing suicide haha. I know he was also eager to hear from me, and yes he had messages 4 hours earlier. Just as he left the Immigration Office, he messaged me and told me that everything went well according to plan and he was able to catch his flight. Whew. Thank God I didn’t think twice, and thanks to his kind Mistah, he didn’t fail him.

I really didn’t know what will happen to our fate that time, haha will I see him or not? But, I know, all this time, love keeps us through. I entered the airport and went straight to the sink because I want to be looking ok when I see him again after almost half a year. I waited for only a few minutes and out of a sea of unfamiliar faces, from a distance, his face rose vibrantly as he approached me. I was so happy to see him, even if we were only a hundred meters apart, I could see his face lighting up when he spotted where I was. This face, even if I don’t get to see it everyday, when I remember it, I remember why my heart still chooses to beat and continue on with life. My Dad never left me empty-handed, yes he rested, physically, but his love for me is unending when he accepted this unknown man to be a part of my life—to be a part of our family. I was glad that we were able to bond with my Dad for quite some time before he passed away.

Now, at this very moment, right in front of me is a man, who may be an ordinary person to others, but for me, he is the resemblance of a million reasons to stay alive and continue fighting. He is a gift I open everyday. I promise from then on, I will wake up with grateful heart because God gave me a future, and more importantly, a present to love and nurture everyday.

Oopps… What happened to my “travel” story? Ayun, natuloy siya dito sa Japan, after all those uncertainties he faced, sobrang take life lang talaga ito. Masyado kasi talagang farfetched or imposible for him to visit me here, akala ko panaginip lang lahat, pero natuloy talaga siya. We had a great time and I didn’t see what’s coming next.

Continue reading: The Day He Asked

EI:

R&R: rest and recreation

Yuppies: young professionals

Otaku: someone who loves anime so much that he/she lives/drinks/eats and dreams anime every waking moment of his/her life (Def from Wikipedia: Otaku (おたく/オタク) is a Japanese term for people with obsessive interests, commonly the anime and manga fandom)

CP: Command Post: A small unit belonging to a Battalion

Take Life: Doing something against the rule (or ask your Soldier Boyfriend to explain this term to you, I might be wrong LOL)

Mistah: Classmate (term used inside the Academy)

Sink: Military term for restroom

Above photo from Josh Sorenson via pexels.com

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To Moving Forward

It’s been a while since my last post. Oh ‘a while’ would literally mean almost over a year. I’ve been swamped with school and work, and how my 2017 started with the death of my father really left me hanging there. I know and I’m sure it will take my whole life to accept it, and I really don’t know how to face my future without my best friend, my knight in shining armor–my father. Actually, I really don’t know how to be okay anymore.

From the day of my father’s passing, I really do not know how to pick up the pieces. I remembered my Mom, and my brother. They’re all I’ve got and I have all our lives to show them how I really love them; also, I have a loving boyfriend who stands by me all these years, and his family who loves us like their own. I am really thankful to all our friends and family (you know who you are, again, Thank You) who never left us during those times when we cannot see any light leading to a ‘tomorrow’.

This time, I want to start again with my blog with what keeps me going every single day. I’m that type of a person who writes her thoughts on a notebook/journal and actually re-read it after a while when nothing seems to be right anymore. Days passed, I found myself Google-ing motivational quotes to actually hit me through the face and keep me pumped up for at least the rest of the day. So everyday, without miss, I am actually reading quotes from Google to give me motivation for the whole day. At least, one day at a time.

Then I remembered, I have this blog, I think I could use some posts to actually use as my sounding board or receptacle to what I am going through right now.

As I write this entry, my heart is full of gratitude, especially to our Almighty God who is keeping us hopeful and who is giving us strength after all these endeavors.  I am nothing without Him, and I really won’t make it without God’s guidance.

From this day forward, I want to start sharing daily dose of motivation not just for the readers, but especially for me. At least, I want to be okay.

If you are still reading at this point, you might happen to be a close friend of mine or a person who knows me personally, or may be, someone who is also going through a rough time just like me. I hope you may find this useful.

I will start off with this quote,

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” — John Pierpont Morgan

I just lost my hero, my father. But that doesn’t keep the fact that I still have another parent to love. I know that my Dad loved us so much, he did everything to give us a better life, and protected us from every possible pain we might ever encounter. I don’t know how to be okay, or how to accept this reality of not actually seeing my Dad when I go home, but I realized, maybe, God had him retire from this life because he had already completed his mission–that is to love us and dedicate his entire life giving us a comfortable life. My dad was the greatest hero I will ever have, I love him so much and I still think and dream about him.

My Dad is now resting in heaven. But my Mom is still with us, and I love her, too. She did everything to take care of my Dad until his last breath, and I am thankful because she never gave up. She guides us through the path of healing. I thank the Lord for having a tough Mom, and I want to show to her how much she means to me.

The quote says enough. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are. True enough. I don’t want to stay here and mourn about my father’s death, instead, I want to celebrate because I had a loving Dad who fought the toughest battles for his family. I want to remember my Dad laughing, fetching me from school or from the Hospital after my shift’s done, or being on a long ride, him being the driver which means I’ll have a pretty sound sleep, knowing that my Dad was driving the whole time. I want to remember him with that dimples on his cheeks when he smiles, and with his warm and reassuring hugs that everything will be alright. I want to remember his daily messages telling me to take care always–I mean literally, everyday he did that; or not to eat a lot of icecream because if I do, my throat might sore. I want to remember how I learned how to play the guitar when I was 13 because, hell yeah he was some kind of a pro every time he strung that guitar; or how I learned to drive a manually driven car because he told me, only a few girls can drive a manually operated car and he said, he would be so proud if I am one of those few genius ladies who can blend the clutch and the gas pedals while driving on a hill. I want to remember his faith and trust on me. He was the first person who believed in me, who wrote my first dreams, who made me feel like I can always be better, and I am worthy of being someone.

I know that I will never see his face anymore, but I know he is just around watching us from above.

Thank you so much, Pa, for everything. I promise, not to stay like this. I promise to move forward, and continue all the dreams you have for me. I promise we will take care of Mama. I love you so much, Pa. Sending all my love to you in heaven.
From Your Only Daughter,  Kim

Above photo from pexels.com

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10 Things Never To Say To Someone Who Has A Soldier Deployed

1. “Do you miss him?”  hmmm… Are you really going to ask me that?

2. “I don’t know how you do it.”
 Dear, you have no idea how I do it.

3. “I know just how you feel.” Really?
 Just really?

4. “Are you scared something may happen to him?”

How will you feel if you know that someone who means the world to you is going to leave you anytime? Like, permanently? Then please don’t ask me if I’m scared that something may happen to him, or I will just give you an ultimate crazy look which will burn you. LOL

5. “I would die if my husband left me for that long.”

Oh common.
 You don’t even know how to give significance to every single waking moment with your husband ( you know, the word MAXIMIZE, ’cause in the military, this word means so much to us, so stop telling me off, will you? Haha

6. “Has he had to kill anyone?”

Do you want me to kill you? haha. kidding! But, do you really want me to answer that?

7. “Aren’t you afraid of him now?”

No, because he taught me the basics of MMA, and I might use it anytime if you continue asking me such kind of questions. 😛

8. “Aren’t you worried he’s going to cheat on you?”

Is he worried I’m going to cheat on him? Of course, not.

9. “Are you excited he’s coming home?”

That question? Can you go now? Really, I beg you to. haha

10. “Why couldn’t he get a REAL job?”


Why can’t you get a life? Stop bothering me! haha

These are a few of the many things we often hear from our family or friends regarding our military relationship, but, however annoying some of these things may sound, sometimes, we don’t have any choice but to get used to it. But hello, if you often ask us those questions, we always feel unaccepted or being pitied.

So please refrain from asking your military-spouse/girlfriend friends these things, if it may not be a burdensome on your part, thank you 🙂 What we rather need is assurance and a helpful friend to divert our mind from thinking of our military partner being so far, far away from us. Just my two cents! 😛

Above photo from Pixabay via pexels.com

This is one of my favorite thoughts about the military life, originally taken from.

 

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5 Ways to Love A Soldier

“She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a sword.” ~Atticus

1. Have a Flexible Job

A job which will permit you to fly anytime, when the need arises. (ie when he needs you, or when he simply misses you).

This might sound crazy to other people who are outside the military world; because they think it’s kind of absurd when you start to prioritize your partner over your career (no matter how you try to explain  your situation, they can’t understand, or may I say, they won’t understand, so stop explaining yourself LOL). Yes, at first, it is. You may even feel you are depriving yourself of a better career opportunity or so, but don’t get me wrong when I say, “flexible work,” what I meant was to look for a job which will give you more time to visit him. I know, it isn’t ordinary, people may even roll their eyes, but, it’s a part of loving a man in uniform. It’s not crazy, it’s selfless.

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2. Be Supportive of His Dream

I’ve been in a military relationship for more than 7 years now, but believe it or not, sometimes, I couldn’t get myself to be supportive of his dream (becoming a Military Officer). To be honest, when he was still in PMA, I somehow hoped that he will change his mind or he will be discharged (Haha sorry naman, but I really hoped nung kumuha siya ng Physics Removal’s Exam niya noon, I wished hindi na lang siya pumasa). I’m sorry if I am saying this right now, because, sometimes, it’s hard to be supportive when you know that his first priority is his job. This means he will not bend for what you want, even if what you only want him to do is to come home every single day after a tiring day from work–like most regular husbands do (when you get married).

But here you are still loving him, despite his dream of serving the country and leaving you home to protect and make other families safe–even if it means leaving yours unattended. It’s difficult and a bit sad, but you have to be supportive, because remember, you are his strength.

3. Be Selfless

I couldn’t explain #2 when I won’t involve the value of SELFLESSNESS, right? LOL I told you I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that the man I am going to be with for the rest of my life is going to be away from home/from me for the rest of his career. But thinking from a different perspective, I am with a person who is very devoted to his goals and dreams, that he chooses to forget about his own comfort and chooses to serve the Nation instead.

What I could do right now is to support him and to not be selfish. I know, I only think about myself, I only think about our future family, our unborn children who will not have the privilege to grow with their Dad, but I know for a fact that I can do something. There are a lot of women out there who could take my place, but luckily, I am one of the chosen few to be in the “Silent Ranks.”

Instead of weeping, or feeling sorry for our situation, in the future, when we’ll have our own family, maybe I could bring our kids regularly to the Camp so that they could be with their Dad, and my husband won’t miss any milestone of our kids; I could learn to drive his car to take the kids to school or to drive myself to the supermarket; I could learn to manage the household independently; I could take care of his parents, or his family as I take care of my own–I could work double time for us. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I could choose to be strong for us to make it through. Just like him, I should be selfless.

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4. Be Respectful to Him

Love comes naturally, but respect does not. I could say, because as the relationship gets old, you make fun of each other more often, and sometimes, kapag pikon iyong isa, it will lead to serious fight. Lol

Respect is very important to make a relationship solid. NO MATTER WHAT YOU TWO ARE GOING THROUGH, TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT.

5. Build Your Own Empire

This is the most exciting part of being in a military relationship. This is my favorite. <3

As you take the courage to maintain your relationship, you get to be the “man” in the house to decide on what to do with your life. As he is out there fighting the battles unknown to you, you have all the time to find yourself, or find what really makes your heart ignite. Masiyado naman yatang ma-drama, what I mean is, you have all the time in the world to actually do what you really wanted in life. It might seem contradicting to #1, but here in #5, while he is away, you can do whatever you want to do, build a business, continue to graduate school, travel, start a blog, build a new hobby, learn a new interest, learn a new language–as long as it is beneficial or worthy of your time.

The importance of having your “own thing” is to make your own diversion so that you will not feel that you are always “waiting in vain.” Be practical. Don’t just bum around waiting for the next allocation to come. While you are taking care of the kids, or waiting for him, or having a daytime job (which makes you feel inggit when your officemate gets hatidsundo by her Boyfriend vs. your virtual Boyfriend who is in the mountains hehe), do something productive. There is always time. Do your own craft, focus on it like your breathing depends on it. Build your empire. Remeber, you are a Queen, only, your King is away fighting the bad guys–for now.

A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE A GAME OF CHESS. THE QUEEN SHOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HER KING.

Above photo from Lukas via pexels.com

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9 Signs He Could Be The One

 

“Oh Dear, I think you’ve stolen my heart, but that’s okay, you can keep it.”

Ladies, if you are having difficulty deciding whom to choose from all your suitors, well, here are a few signs which might help you decide. ❤

1. He doesn’t only LOVE you, but he RESPECTS you

Love is always there, but respect is not. Remember that girls want attention, that’s why they end up with “boys,” but “women” want respect so they end up with “gentlemen.” Respect isn’t asked for, but is earned. Before you even start your relationship, and you want this future endeavour to last, you must show him that you respect yourself first, so he knows you are not just among those girls who come and go.

GUYS, it’s simple. Treat your girl how you would want your dad to treat your Mom, your future brother-in-law to treat your sister; and your future son-in-law to treat your daughter.

2. He values his and your parents; and his family means the world to him

If you want someone to last forever in your life, make sure you choose someone who respects and loves his own parents. You know that when he does, it means family is important to him, and chances are, he also dreams of having his own, simple, yet blissful family. You know that if he also respects your parents, it means he doesn’t want to do anything stupid to you, because he knows exactly what he will end up to, if he will.

A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone. Billy Graham

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3. He has his own dreams for his future, and for your future together

Don’t get me caught up when I say “his future,” what I mean is his own thoughts for his own career. It’s important that you choose someone who has his own dreams and aspiration for himself, not only those things you set for him or you told him to do, but even before you’ve even met, he has these goals keeping him motivated every day. Aside from that, of course, he plans ahead for your future together, and not only does he plan, he materialises it.

4. His FAITH is his LAMP that guides him along the way

Some may say this is whimsical, but actually, nowadays, you only find good guys inside the Church or someone who BELIEVES. So choose someone who has faith which helps him carry on every time the going gets tough.

They do not fear bad news. They confidently trust the Lord to care for them. Psalm 112:7,NLT

5. He is a good provider and money matters don’t shake him

Of course, not all the time you meet someone who owns a kingdom and doesn’t have to work for the rest of his life. If you happen to meet someone like that, you’re lucky. But you’re luckier, or even blessed, if you found someone who doesn’t get distressed with matters concerning to money, because he works hard for it to secure your future together. Hence, you know for sure he will be a good provider in the future. A guy who courts you because he’s the only one among his flock who doesn’t have a girlfriend yet, is not deserving of your time and attention. But a gentleman who courts you with good intentions, and is already prepared for the rainy days, is worthy of your time.

6. He knows how to protect you

Not only physically, but from future potential problems he discerns would happen from your bad decision making. He knows you are a wise woman, but when he sees that your judgment is kind of curvy, he will be honest enough to tell you, because he believes that your failures are his own, too. So he protects you from future danger.

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You better treat her like your queen if you want to be treated like a king. Moosa Rahat

7. His social group respects him but he knows the meaning of SOCIAL DISTANCE

He is a person of integrity, and his friends and workmates respect him, because he knows how to deal with people professionally. Although he is close to other women, or other groups of people you haven’t even met yet, you trust him because he knows his boundaries, and you know that he will not cross the line.

8. He believes in delayed gratification

Choose someone who doesn’t give in with simple or temporary pleasures because he believes in delayed gratification. He knows that all things which are worth-giving effort for are the ones which could last forever. So he knows how to wait, because after all, he already knows what he wants. If someone knows how to how to delay his gratification, he also knows how to control his temper.

The longer you wait for something, the more you’ll appreciate it when you get it. Cause anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting.

9. You can tell by the look of his eyes that you are the apple of his eyes.

You know, because you know his heart. ❤

Fall in love with someone who doesn’t make you feel love is hard.

 

Above photo from David Whittaker via pexels.com

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6 Reasons Every Military Wife/Gf Should Visit The ‘Camp’

“Behind every strong soldier, there is a strong woman, who stands behind him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.” -Anonymous

Most of the military women especially spouses have formed the habit of staying at home. They wait for their Soldier knocking by their house’s doorstep, and some divert their longing and focus their attention to take care of their kids or manage the house. But this habit of not visiting your military partner in his work area doesn’t usually help the relationship grow, sometimes, it leads to future gap or misunderstanding.

After having asked military spouses who stayed stunning even after giving birth, and from collected experiences of awesome military girlfriends, and Officers’ Girls, here are some of the many reasons why every Military Wife/Gf should visit their man in the Camp.

6 Reasons Every Military Wife/Gf Should Visit The ‘Camp’

1st

To let all the troops know you are their Boss’s Girl. You, and nobody else. This is a bit rude but a great number of the soldier men opt to tolerate their buddy’s acts of unfaithfulness, because they haven’t built their solid relationship and respect to their buddy’s wife—the only woman who should pay regular visit in the camp, not someone else from the nearby town.

2nd

To experience FIRSTHAND what it really feels like living in the woods, without the comfort of electricity, bed, comfy chair, leveled and cemented floor, decent toilet, and most of all, without the phone signal or internet connection. After having seen your man in his worsts and in his bests, especially in his bare work set-up, it’s always relieving to know that your respect and love for him will never, ever change, even if what he only has to offer is a folding bed placed on a muddy ground, surrounded by 4 raincoats which serve as the walls of your instant room (by the way, this is the ARMY setting) 😛

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3rd

To get you closer together. Isn’t it sweeter if you both stayed in love after having experienced 1 km-walk before you could even make bathroom privilege #1? And isn’t comforting to know that after having placed your phone to its “flashlight-only” functionality, which puts you to “it’s just you and me” situations, you managed to stay happy just talking, without feeling any slightest form of boredom? Kidding aside, getting to know your man in his own ‘territory’ will only give you higher respect to him. This time, no kidding.

4th

To stop you from becoming too demanding of his time, attention, phone calls, text messages, or even a like button using his FB from that photo of you together, which you posted a week ago. Someone said, Love makes someone understand after having seen the mean ALTHOUGHs. True enough, you won’t be able to understand something you haven’t really experienced first hand, but when you only try to look closer, even if there are a lot of “Kahit na’s” or “althoughs” in your relationship, you could always shift your gear from becoming too demanding to becoming more understanding, instead.

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5th

To give you an idea what else to prepare for the next care package you will send him. I can say you are truly a certified military girl if you already used the services of PhilPost, TransTech, FedEx, LBC, 2Go, MailMore or JRS, (name it) even once. Just to send him his care package; full of love notes, chocolates, your favorite perfume in a mini bottle (for him to spray on his pillow or blanket), and a good bulk of his favorite food, and some medicine, extra socks and mosquito repellent cream on the side. If you visit the camp, you know exactly what he needs, or what you think he needs that he hasn’t even realized he does, actually. With the help of your mommy instincts, of course.

6th

To get to know his deeper side, and to be able to accept any insights from that reality. Every military personnel, be it the Enlisted Personnel, the Staff, the Kitchen Aide, and even the Officers always have their frustration from the fact that they are always away from their families. I know, because, that was what I noticed when I had the opportunity to visit my man in his camp. (Click here to read A Holiday Spent in the Camp: The OG Experience) If you haven’t tried to visit and stayed for a while inside the camp, you will never know and understand a bit of his life in his own career. I cannot explain it any further, but from this, I hope you’re already planning to finally say yes to his invitation to visit him in the Camp. Nothing beats experiences over just-told stories, right?

These are just a few of the hundreds of reasons why you should visit your man inside the camp. I know it takes a lot of work to do, from applying your leave, or even thinking what excuse you might use for your leave (haha), to the budget you will prepare for the tickets, or whatever preparation you need. But I tell you, it will all be worth it! Good luck!

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Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl

 

Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl
This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2011. Original title: “Memoirs of A Weekend Girlfriend.”

Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl

“Nakauwi ka na ba? Musta pala iyong pinanood mong movie?”

These were the last words he sent me through SMS. It was only 2030H then and it was Saturday. It’s the 30th day of October to be exact. I thought he just fell asleep because of the exasperating activities he is doing habitually inside the academy. After an hour, I texted him again, saying,

“Sleep tight, antukin ka talga. Nga pala, wag kang masyadong malungkot dyan ah kahit mag-isa ka sa barracks. Nand2 lang ako sana hindi mo iyon maklimutan! Good night, my Indian! ^^”

Waking up from nowhere from one of my midnight sleep-awakening episodes during that night, I reached out for my cellphone, expecting a message from him. Nothing. So I just continued my sleep and thought that maybe he was just back from the routine of logging in the cellphone and so much of that what-have-you’s inside.
October 31, November 1, 2, nothing… 4 days… 5 days… 6 days… still, there’s no text from my beloved Cadet.

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As time passed by, I was becoming worried and so much of being anxious since I thought he was unable to text me during those Undas days (which supposedly an “authorized” time for them to use their non-camera-owning cellular phones ), because he was punished. He said before,

“Makkpagtx lang ako ng weekends, pag holiday dto o after 2300H ng weekdays pero take life na un. Pag di nkreply, nag-log in lng, nagtago o d worst, nahuli.”

That last text of him was on a Saturday night and the following days were supposed to be their break, but he did not message me. So it came to my mind that maybe, he was caught using his cellphone during a “take life” situation while he was texting me. I was so worried and I think I was the one to be blamed, and thoughts of him staying alone inside the barracks as punishment, came to me. Worry warts were really eating my brain that time. I was really longing for him.

Then came Saturday again, he called from a different number, he was apologizing what had happened. He told me that, yes, indeed, they were unauthorized to use their phones for the whole week. I realized I was just freaking out which made me think of things way too different from what is really happening to him inside. My desire to see him, to speak with him, or at least to know that he’s okay, made me crazy. My cadet is not that too expressive, but this time was different, I can feel from his manly voice that he is really resentful for letting me feel so worried about him, or not being able to text me, at least to tell me that he’s doing fine.

Having a boyfriend who is studying inside the Academy is so much challenging. I cannot see him when I want to, if I’m so happy, or got so much pissed off because of petty things from school, I have to wait until Friday or Saturday to share with him the story, so at least I could tell him the gist of a happy or an awful encounter I had. If there is a family gathering or a simple birthday party, I cannot just fetch him from his school anytime I want to, or ask him to accompany me, because there is so much rules, protocols inside their school. Indeed, I feel like I’m only a “Weekend Girlfriend.” However, let’s do away from talking much about the downside of having a Cadet for a boyfriend; because nothing can change the fact that however difficult our situation gets, I still love him at the end of the day. What makes the relationship going? Maybe this one word: COMMITMENT. This summarizes all the words which will be mentioned below.

Now I realized that commitment is necessary in a relationship. It is not because it will give me the right or the authority to tell a person what I want to happen. It is because commitment makes me feel certain that whatever we share is going to lead us somewhere. It’s a nice feeling to enjoy being with somebody not because of who or what he is but because you can’t think of yourself in another place with another person. But a relationship goes deeper than that. And that is where commitment comes in.” -Lotis B. Soriano, The Best of Young Blood, 1999

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If you really love someone, you will understand the whereabouts of his toils. Another word which comes important next to commitment is ACCEPTANCE. You have to accept the fact that you are not the only person around who makes his life revolve. Accept the fact that sometimes you cannot cuddle on a rainy evening, or watch a movie together on a cold night, or walk hand-in-hand on a beach side. Accept the fact that he will not always be there physically. He will be there when he’s free, but majority of his cadet life will be spent away from you, but the moment he’s physically there with you, you should make the most out of it.

The next important word, maybe, is UNDERSTANDING. Total understanding. He is a Cadet, nothing more, nothing less. He has rules to follow and he will always and should be doing his hourly duty. He cannot always hold or keep his phone with him at all times just to respond to your petty text messages because he has rules to follow. One of those numerous rules that they have is logging in their cellphoens during weekdays. Understand that he cannot always text you, call you, especially when your Cadet is “properly” (because mine is, and I’m proud of him because of that).

EXPAND YOUR HORIZON. You have different career paths don’t you? As for me, I’m working my brains out to graduate this March and hope that I will be able to pass the board exams with a bull’s eye. Improve yourself more so that both of you will grow. As he is inside, and you are studying or working outside, direct your love to him with the things you do, so that you will be productive and you will be successful with your own career path.

SUPPORT HIM ALL THE WAY. You have to support him with his chosen league. If you’re really serious with each other, then you have to start showing that you are one, it’s like, one heart-one mind. So it means, the failure of one is the failure of both. Support each other all the way. Sustain his strength in pursuing his aspirations in life. Isn’t it sweeter if both of you succeed in your own chosen career, and yet, you end up together? Love as they say, is bringing out the best in each other, right?
Don’t waste your time waiting unproductively. Do your own thing. Make yourself busy with things which would help you to become more triumphant.

Dearest Kaydet Girl, until the weekend comes, live to exist. Don’t feel so depressed. He loves you more than you could ever imagine.

To our Dearest Cadets (especially to my Cadet), you have so much catching up to do during the weekends, okay? So load up and make us feel loved and remembered even more. Be more expressive and communicative. Please don’t make us feel unloved by neglecting us and being lazy to text us. Tell us you love us once in a while, because we need it for another week of twinge. Do your best inside the Academy, and don’t be worried about us outside, because we know that no matter how the silence is unbearable, at the end of the day, it’s still us that you are thinking.
To my Cadet, Buga lang. Kaya mo ‘yan. I love you!

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