6 Challenges Military Wives Experience

Hello again! This time, we will talk about challenges that Military Wives experience. So after ng Cadetship niya, siyempre ma-deploy na sila, and later on, magiging mag-asawa na rin kayo, susulong na rin kayo sa buhay pag-aasawa.

Medyo tough ang topic na ito, so brace yourselves. Hehe

For sure, marami ring readers ng PMG na mga military wives. Question: Mahirap po bang maging Asawa ng Sundalo?

Medyo hindi ako makasagot ng tama sa tanong ng reader natin na iyan, kasi personally, hindi pa kami kinakasal hehehe. Hindi pa ako formally “Military Wife” so if you are reading this, and kung military wife po kayo, please enlighten us.

But first, here are the things na natanong ko sa mga girl friends kong married sa mga sundalo… and if you are a Military girlfriend tulad ko, malamang magandang tip na malaman na natin ‘to ngayon pa lang.

#1 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

When you’re living in another state or country, though, you cannot share these activities with the person you love. You can’t gaze into one another’s eyes and enjoy the pleasures of physical contact, or even share the simple joy of one another’s presence. And depending on the situation, you may not know if or when you’ll be able to see each other again. (from keepinspiringme.com)

A lot of us, especially iyong mga OFW katulad ko, nahihirapan sa communication lalo na kapag walang internet sa bundok o sa field. Sobrang nag-struggle ako sa pagka-miss ko sa kaniya nung bagong salta lang ako sa ibang bansa. Pero isipin mo, hindi na lang ikaw girlfriend, kundi ASAWA ka na niya. Your life and his life ay iisa na. Imagine mo iyan, mapapahiwalay kayo sa isa’t isa kasi nga siyempre sa duty, at sa deployment niya, karaniwan, sobrang layo pa ng assignment niya.

Mahirap minsan tumayo sa isang relationship na pakiramdam mo nag-iisa ka lang. Hehe alam ko iyong ganitong feeling kasi napagdaananan ko na ito noon, hindi ka sigurado kung kayo pa ba, kasi sa tagal na niya sa operation, halos mag-3months noon nung hindi siya nakapag-message sa akin, hindi ko talaga alam kung kami pa ba. Ang hirap lang.

Tapos, ang daming challenges sa buhay mo, tapos wala siya. Parang ang hirap magpakatatag minsan para sa sarili mo, pero ok lang iyon ha, kasi gustung-gusto naman talaga nilang umuwi, hindi lang talaga pwede o agad-agad.

#2 TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS

Siyempre, a big part of building your own family is having kids. Kadalasan, kasama mo ang asawa mo magpalaki ng mga anak niyo, lalo na iyong first time Mom, sabi ng isang friend ko, nahihirapan daw siya kasi sa kaniya lahat ng puyat and all.. Tapos hindi niya alam kung paano o ano ang gagawin kung magkakasakit ang anak, dahil nag-iisa lang siya. Maswerte na rin tayo kung nasa poder pa tayo ng mga magulang natin, o malapit lang sila, so that they too, can take part in rearing your kids. Para hindi sayo lahat ang work.

Iba na rin kasi talaga kapag may mga anak ng pinag-uusapan.. Sa palagay ko, medyo upgraded iyong challenges. Pasensiya na hindi ako makakapag-explain adequately sa bagay na ito kasi hindi ko pa naeexperience, hayaan niyo kapag may anak na ako, sasabihin ko sa inyo… hehe

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#3 BUDGETING and FINANCIAL MATTERS

Yes, admit it or not, kahit good-paying job ang pagiging isang sundalo, at dahil nga meron ka pang pinapalaking baby, hindi ka pa rin magkakaroon ng chance bumalik sa employment so dedepende ka pa rin sa sahod ni Mister. Mahirap iyong reality na ito kasi minsan hindi napapag-usapan, kasi ang sakit sa bangs bes. Haha Ang sakit pag-usapan iyong mga financial matters, iyong mga bagay na dapat talagang pinag-uusapan, hindi na napag-uusapan, iyong mga bagay na dapat ay DISCUSSION lang, nauuwi sa ARGUMENTS, hanggang sa may lilipad na na mga pinggan diyan lol. Pero joke lang po iyong pinggan, hahaha.

Pero sounds about right diba? Kasi iyan din ang sabi ng mga napagtanungan ko, lalo na iyong mga nagsisimula pa lang na military family.

#4 TRAVEL EXPENSES

Bes, ang sakit sa bangs ng abrupt buying of plane tickets, hehe kasi kailangan mo siyang puntahan. Na-try niyo na ba ‘to? Ang gastos ‘di ba? At nakaka-iyak kasi ang mahal ng days-before-your flight plane ticket. Pero walang magagawa kasi nga, ganito ang buhay ng military. Kung kelan ka niya kailangan, puntahan mo siya. Tungkulin mo iyon bilang military wife. Ikaw ang mag-aadjust para sa kaniya.

“ Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”– Thomas Fuller

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan nating magkita. Hehe Kahit masakit pa iyan sa bangs, we have to see each other, kahit gaano pa kalayo ang lalakbayin ko, basta makita lang kita. Ganito kasi dapat ang love, may halong sacrifice.

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#5 UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. -Lauren K. Hamilton

Alam niyo minsan iyong feeling na, kapag mag-memessage ka tapos “seen” lang niya, and kahit alam mo namang busy naman talaga siya sa trabaho or duty, siyempre masasaktan ka rin… Getting real na tayo dito, hindi na ‘to pa-tweetums ha, hehe. Siyempre may mga times na gusto natin na suyuin tayo o damayan nila tayo sa bad day natin, tapos SEEN ka lang, parang sinasabi niya e, “SORRY I’M EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.” Di ba parang ang hirap? Pero kapag naramdaman niyo iyan, i-message niyo na lang ako. Hehe Kasi minsan talaga napagdadaanan natin iyan e.

May mga bagay na na-de-deprive ang mag-asawang military, iyong time nila para sa isa’t isa esp kapag meron talagang mabigat na pinagdadaanan, tapos wala iyong asawa mo na sasandalan mo. Siyempre, mahihirapan ka talaga. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, dapat tatagan ko iyong loob ko dahil Military na ang buhay ko lalo na kapag nag-asawa na.

Remember: Military ang napili mong makakasama habang-buhay. Tapangan mo ang sarili mo. Kasi, sayo siya kukkuha ng strength.

#6 FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

“You don’t just have to die for the people you love, you have to live for them, too.”

Ito na iyong isa sa pinakamasakit tanggapin, iyong takot na mawawala siya anytime. Iniisip ko pa lang, nasasaktan na ako. hehe Pero siyempre hindi natin iyan iniisip na mangyayari, kasi hindi talaga natin alam ano na ang mangyayari sa atin, pero it’s part of what we’ve actually signed up for.

Masakit tanggapin na hindi mo alam kung ano kakahinatnan ng operation nila, kung ano ang haharapin mo kinabukasan, na kapag may tumawag sayo na unknown number, hindi mo gustong iyon na iyong tawag sayo.

Pero kahit merong possibility na ganiyan, e kumapit pa rin tayo sa Itaas. Huwag magpapaapekto, lagi lang tayong mananalangin. Ang Dios na ang bahala sa atin.

Pero, lagi mo ring sasabihin sa kaniya, na hindi lahat ng Heroes nasa Libingan ng mga Bayani, kundi (at lalung-lalo na), iyong mga Sundalong nakakauwi sa kanilang mga pamilya pagkatapos ng lahat ng unos sa field.

And remember… Gustung-gusto na rin nilang umuwi. Imagine mo itong Poem na ito, palagay ko, sobrang ganito ang feeling ng mga Soldiers, na they want to spend the “morning” with their loved ones, too.

Will There Really Be A Morning

Will there really be a morning?

Is there such thing as day?

Could I see it from the mountains?

If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like water lilies?

Has it feathers like a bird?

Is it brought from the famous countries

of which I have never heard?

Oh, some scholar! Oh, some sailor!

Oh, some wise man from the skies!

Please to tell a little pilgrim

Where the place called morning lies!

poem by Emily Dickinson

Above photo from Wyatt Castaneda from pexels.com

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&&The list goes on…. Para sa mga Readers ng PMG na military wives, pwede niyo ba kaming i-enlighten para malaman naman naming mga girlfriend pa lang, kung ano ba talaga ang pinapasok namin? hahaha Please comment or message me kung may maidaragdag pa kayo.

Pero what if…

May paraan pa? What if meron ka pang mahanap na way para mapagaan ang buhay niyong mag-asawa? Kung full-time Mom ka and lagi kang home-based, tapos kay Mister lang naka-depende ang household finances niyo, tapos may malaman kang way para mapagaan ng konti at magkaroon ka ng financial breakthrough, gagawin mo ba? CLICK TO CONTINUE READING…

 

The Person Behind Proud Military Girl

Hello, there!

You might be reading this because you want to know who Kim is, or who owns this page/blog. Lol I’m sorry to tell you, but I think this is not the right time to reveal who owns this blog. First I made an alternate account (which I might have used to add you as my friend on Facebook because I know/I have a feeling you belong to the Military World). This alternate account I named Kim is not my real FB account, I just use it to navigate to publishing tools of FB, and Kim is not my real name. I just used this name because it was how my late Dad called my youngest sibling (I used it because I want to commemorate my late Father.)

Why PMG? I know right. Lol. First of all, I am a girlfriend of a Junior Officer who graduated from the Philippine Military Academy. Some of you might know something about me, etc. But I want to keep my real identity privately because I want to be “not biased” when I write my articles.

Someone asked me why can’t I tell my real name, “Are you hiding something?” Lol the answer is: I am not. I just want to be private kasi baka sumikat ako and mawalan ng kabuluhan lahat ng meaning ng mga sinusulat ko, maging tungkol lahat saakin, the fact is I am writing generally, ayokong maging subjective lahat ng mga articles dito when I told you who I was. I want to write things regarding military love stories, majority comes from my own thoughts, but these thoughts, I think might be useful to others who also belong to my world.

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But, Why?

Being in a military relationship (especially when we started dating, he was then a Cadet) was tough. I don’t know who to turn to. I’m not really sure my civilian friends understand completely what I tell them, and I cannot hide the fact that I’m intimidated by Senior Officers’ girlfriends because , one, they are “upperclass,” two, I might be “not interested enough” to be a part of the club. lol (my melancholic side of me, esp when I was younger!)

Later on I met people who belong to the same crowd (they aren’t scary at all haha in fact they became my closest friends), some of them pursued the military marriage, some of them drifted from the military relationship, or I say, have broken up with their then-Cadet Boyfriends, but we remained in tact.

I’ve experienced a lot of emotions from this “military girlfriend” experience from Cadetship to Deployment until First Promotion etc. With this, I have a vision to create something useful to other “beginners” who are clueless kung anong pinapasok nila. Lol. I want to tell the (younger) Ladies, (who once was me) that, it’s going to be fine, we have each other.

I know this is a journey. Military life is a journey, so while I’m here fighting the unknown battles of being the woman behind my brave Soldier, I also would want to find inspiration to those who made it, to those Upperclassmen and Upperclass Ma’am who have the reality I once dreamt of, and continue dreaming—to finally be with the one I love, not the Soldier, but the man I decided to love since Day 1. I know we are just starting with our relationship, but looking at the Seniors who are (still) happily married and might now be traveling the world or rearing their grandchildren (after their Soldier Husband’s Service to our Beloved Country has been paid—by their time, by their life) makes me feel inspired.

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This blog was made out of courage of wanting to meet new people, newbies or veterans from the “Military Relationship,” I know we are the chosen few, but I know we speak tales of courage and patriotism being chosen in this precious “field.”

PMG is not just about me, it’s about every person who belongs to the Military Relationship looking for love and belongingness they cannot find from their reach. This is not just a story, but this is a “book.” The “book” which contains rare love stories from different walks of life which happened to be coloured in camouflage.

Welcome to PMG! This is your story. It is yours. I’m giving it to you.

To those who belong to the “Ladies” rank, the Kaydet Girls, the Officers’ Girls the Officers’ Wives, the Soldier’s Girlfriends, the Soldier’s Wives, I just want you to know, that YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. We are the bravest of all the ranks they could find in the Military Service, because we are our Soldiers’ sounding board, their tough wall, their greatest dream, and their greatest success.

To our Soldiers, Kudos to all of you! We know how much you could sacrifice your life for our fellow countrymen, how much more would you sacrifice for us? We love you so much, more than you’ll ever know, more than you could ever imagine. If only one statement could be used to summarize what we really wanted in life, it would be this statement: “I want to hold your hand when we’re 80, and say we made it.”

***This page is owned by a private individual. Any views or opinion regarding the Philippine Military Academy, Armmed Forces of the Philippines, or the Philippine Soldiers are own judgment of the writer. This page does not represent any entity or institution named above, unless otherwise stated.***

 

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The Secret To A Happy And Lasting Relationship

Many of us think that once you’ve entered a relationship, it means that, everyday is all about rainbows and butterflies, but I beg to disagree. Why? Because having to love someone does not entail loving them only during good times, but it means loving them even during the unloveable and worse times.

They say, you have the happiest and lasting relationship once you’ve experienced hurdles and successes during a long period of time together. But that is not always true. A lot of couples we know who have a lasting relationship (which we think the only thing lacking is the wedding, or worse is, they’re already married) have gone to separate ways. Why? Because along the way, after having been together for quite some time, you will experience things which will change your perspective totally. Once you’ve gotten yourself a job, or you started working overseas, or you met and started to mingle with new set of friends or colleagues, or you experienced a major problem in your life, everything will turn 180deg from your original thoughts and beliefs. Things, people, job, new culture, and experiences will change you, whether you like it or not.

Hence, after all the things you encountered, or having met the people you ought to work with, and all, at the end of the day, what you wanted, still, is to be with the one you love and chose to love after all these years. So what do we really need in order to stay in love and being loved by the most important person in our life? I think the secret to a lasting, happy, contented and healthy relationship is…. *drumroll… is…. to choose each other every day. One day at a time, choose each other. How is that even possible and helpful?

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photo via

First, you do not know what the future holds, you don’t control the sky, the moon, the stars, and every situation that is happening that might change your feelings to the person, BUT, if you choose to love the person everyday, one day at a time, I think it will be extraordinary, and let me say it… life-changing.

Think of this, everyday, in every hour, in every minute, and in any circumstances, if you choose to love the person, nothing will be at risk. However difficult it could get, even during the times you are fighting, or even if one of you is being a pain in the neck; once you turn your thoughts and efforts towards loving that person no matter how difficult and impossible the situation gets, everything is going to be a-okay. That, I promise you. But, what’s the catch? The rule of the thumb is, both of you should be practicing that every day. Why? Because, a relationship consists of two whole beings who are intellectually capable to understand, to love and to commit.

One more thing is when you practice loving the person in any circumstance, drunk or sober, you will not commit any mistake, even if you’re surrounded with unfaithful friends (who do extracurricular activities while their partners are away), or even if you are being pressured by your colleagues, nothing will be at risk if you choose to love the person in any circumstances whatsoever.

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, and suddenly you do not know where to go or what to do anymore, chances are, you might be finding yourself regretting something you already did that you shouldn’t have to; but if you take your relationship seriously, and you focus your thoughts to the person you love, no matter how tough any situation gets, at the end of the day, you will be able to sleep your conscience, good night; because you did the right thing that day, and tomorrow is another brand new day to choose to love the person. Remember, while the relationship lasts, love will not always be feelings anymore, rather, it will be a decision.

“You are the first and last thing on my mind each and every day.”

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OFW Story: Things We Miss From “Pinas”

2015 June: It’s already a month since I started my journey to a foreign land. Looking back, I never thought I’d ever feel this kind of thing you always hear from people, that feeling they call, “homesickness.” It never occurred to me that I’ve been feeling this sort of thing a few nights now. Before, I love putting myself to a restful sleep after a long and stressful day, but now, I’m already having difficulty sleeping at night. Maybe because I’m already homesick.

I’ve talked to some colleagues about this and true enough, they also feel this way. We ended up talking about what we miss being home.

FAMILY & FRIENDS

The only substantial reason why we chose to work a thousand miles away from our motherland is because of our family. Yet, they are also the ones who make us want to go back home as much as we could. However, when the waiting gets too long, all you have are your computer-printed photos of them which you tried arranging in front of your desk. There is no substitute to seeing your family and friends in flesh like you could do back home. No hours of doing/using Skype or Viber can replace the fact that you are living away from them, and you can’t do away from thinking they might have their own sphere without you in it.
 However, thinking negatively won’t help you achieve your goals while you’re in a foreign land. Remember, you are your family’s hope and as much as you miss them, they miss you, too—so much that they get misty eyes when they talk about you. Remember, keep your faith with you and call unto Him, whenever, wherever. He will come to your rescue, no fail.

 

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FOOD

No amount of authentic ramen or swiss chocolate can substitute to the taste we’ve accustomed to long before the age we started talking. Months before going to Japan, my friends and I used to visit some Japanese restaurants to try their cuisine with the goal of getting used to its taste. We were all excited when we had our first Ramen sided with Karaage and Tempura. Yes, we admit we devoured every piece of it at first but when days were passing, and all we can see is the same thing served on the table, we cannot do away from missing the native dish we got used to, growing up.
 For Filipinos like me, who doesn’t miss Adobo, Menudo, Sinigang, Tinola, Pinakbet, Pinikpikan, Dinakdakan, Lechon, Bistek, Chicharon, Dried Mango, Sampaloc, Malagkit, Sisig, Bopis, Empanada, Miki, Champorado at Tuyo, Papaitan, anyone?

FEELING OF BELONGINGNESS

I had this one experience with my friend while we were in a coffee shop. We were talking about how good the coffee was, meanwhile, a group of adults dashed passed us, just as we started speaking in Tagalog. I know, some locals do not want to be asked or to be disturbed, however, we felt like we were so gruesome that time that they really need to run as fast as they could from where we were standing. 
People living in a foreign country right now, will agree to me that there is this some kind of “awkwardness” every time you go to pubic places or even in a small get-together. When you are the “foreigner” in that place, there is this kind of feeling you encounter every time you mingle with the locals. It is not because they are not approachable or kind to you but they are not just “the same” people you know. Being in a foreign land entails that you need to act and think the same way they do. Don’t get me wrong when I say “the locals,” what I mean is the people originally living/residing in that place.
 Sometimes, you miss being carefree. Free from thinking you might get caught by the police without your Residence Card or passport with you. Free from thinking you might get summoned by someone because you might have spoken too loud or you might have used your camera in places you are not supposed to. It is just so different when you are in your own country where you can always ask people anything you want, or you can just be yourself without a bit of hesitation.

Read More: 5 Problems OFWs Hide Their Families

TRANSPORTATION

I know, majority of us opted to work abroad to seek for greener pasture. This means, we moved to a place where technical advancement is not a buzz, but just par for the course. However, when you get accustomed to high-technology transpo, you always miss this somehow-stressful, back-to-basic kind of ride back in your own country.
 For Filipinos like me, still, nothing beats the morning rush in the Metro, or the TryBike or Tricycles in the provinces, and of course, the famous Jeepney—who wouldn’t miss the moment when you pass your fare one passenger to another until it reaches the collector or the driver? True enough, the Philippines is still in her developing phase but this “Bayanihan” (cooperative endeavor, Google) all over the country is but unveiling.

 

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THE PLACE ITSELF

Sometimes, during an ordinary day, when you’re at work, you plan your way home with the thoughts of common streets leading to your house, and all of a sudden, you get back to your consciousness remembering that you are a thousand miles away from home! This makes you think more about things and places you miss about your own country.

Read More: 10+ Things OFWs Won’t Tell Their Loved Ones

YOUR HOBBIES

When you’re in a different country, although you can still pursue your hobbies, there is still some hindrances you will encounter like time, budget, etc. Like for me, what makes me happy is making pastries, while for my other colleagues, they love cooking native dishes. Although we have available ingredients here, it is still not the same taste like what we make back home, when we make it for our families to partake and when a simple cuisine means a special banquet to them.

FINAL THOUGHTS: There might be things we miss about home but looking back to our failures and successes, we should always be grateful about what we have right now–being in a “greener” pasture. We might miss home from time to time, but we should remember to be grateful at once because we have the opportunity to change our family’s future to a better and more convenient one. Kudos to all OFWs all over the globe!


Above photo from Nicole Lawvia pexels.com

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How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

Actually, if I could go right into the gist of it, I could finish this post using a few words. LOL But of course, I won’t spoil it.

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated.

I’ve tried doing stuff to keep me busy or to keep me from thinking about him, if he was doing okay, if he was eating well, and most especially, if he was safe. TBH, it made me a little crazy and paranoid. Some of the things I told you before about some things to do while waiting for his break, were actually effective–AT FIRST, but later on, after weeks of not hearing from him, I’ve decided I have to move on. I mean not from him, but from this “Kaydet Girl” Phase of my life when all I only think about was him, and his Cadetship.

This role I’ve been in during the past couple of years was actually fading. It was time to say goodbye. Right at the moment, during his graduation, he turned into a Lieutenant, yes a LIEUTENANT–not a Cadet, anymore. So this was actually a great transition of our relationship. Hindi na lang ito pa-tweetums. I have to take it seriously. I have to move on, too. Kasi siya nag-move na rin siya from being a Cadet.

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I know he was fine. He was doing okay, because he knows when he gets home, I will be there waiting for him. But things changed when I actually decided to try my luck overseas. At the early stages of my application, it was when he cannot use phones because of poor cellular site, and he was actually on endless military ops, so he wasn’t informed about it.

Then came a letter from Japan, I was actually chosen to be a part of a 4-5 year-scholarship program and I was asked to leave a couple of months on the date of approval. I was torn between pursuing my dream of becoming an experienced Nurse and my dream of marrying the love of my life. It was a dilemma. But after careful thought, of course, I was 21 years old. We were still young to get married, you know what I chose.

At first he was a bit excited for me because it’s his dream to visit this Anime Country someday, but later on he realized, how can he continue life without me? He actually said, “Sino na lang kasama ko? Sinong uuwian ko? Parang mawawalan ako ng kalahati ng pagkatao ko ‘pag umalis ka.”  I actually don’t know how to answer him. But I know, love will see us through. God will help us, I have faith in us.

The first months was actually hell. I’m sorry to use that term, but actually, I was always starting a fight. Haha. I’m super childish. He was busy being a PL, and there I was seeking for attention. But we’ve come passed it.

Then came the season of loneliness. This was the time he actually got depressed about my absence. It started when he went home from Mindanao and I wasn’t home to welcome him or be with him during his R&R. He was down in the dumps. He actually doesn’t want to go home anymore and want to forget he has R&R rights.

He was in a blue spell.

Then a message from God came and brought him back to sunshine! He actually bought a Doberman puppy and we named him, Aiki. Ai (愛)means love in Japanese, and Ki(気) means heart/spirit/mind. We just love him.

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I haven’t seen Aiki since his Dad brought him home, but actually, if God permits, I could see him in flesh next year. I’m excited to see him!

Hi Guys! This is Aiki and his Dad, holding him. Hehe Isn’t he adorable? =)

So how did my Soldier BF got over his loneliness after I went abroad to work? HE BOUGHT  A DOG. =))

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10+ Things to Do While Waiting for His R&R

I know even the minute you bid goodbye, you already start to miss him, right? I can say, “been there, done that,” but then again, even if we’ve been together for quite some time, time and time again, it pains me when he’s gone.  I know how you feel, because right at this moment, I’m feeling it, too.

“But girl, everything will be all right, alright?” This is what I could only tell myself, right now, and I could may be say to you. Everything is going to turn out well.

Let me tell you a little story, this happened when I graduated from College and he was still inside the Academy, that I think, he was a Cow, back then. Those times, I know I have to find a job because after all, (in God’s love and providence,) I’ve passed the board exam, and I was only waiting for my license number which will be issued by PRC. But then, to tell you frankly, I never chose to look for a job or to have a committed work-related stuff back then because I was afraid I might miss something from his Cadet “Milestone.” Gladly, I have loving parents who didn’t require me to look for a job or to give back as early as that time, they only told me to do whatever I want this time (because I think they were relieved that the “future” is mine after passing the NLE, and after all, I was only 20 years old that time). My parents were very supportive, so I never looked for a job after College, I just “enjoyed” or I think the better term is “rested,” after of course the grueling review for the exam.

While waiting for his R&R, I am as hopeless as a person who wants snowflakes in Summer. I just hang in there, waiting for his break, of course my parents know Sancho as early as that time, and they treated him as their own child, they were very supportive of us. (Sobrang tiwala, and kita niyo naman ngayon ang results ng pagtitiwala ng both sides ng parents namin, kami pa rin, at sa Awa at Tulong ng Diyos, hindi naman kami pumalya. Hehe)

Here are the things { I did, I am doing, and I think I will continue to do } whenever I miss him during his deployment.

1. CULTIVATE A NEW HOBBY

TBH, I’ve had a lot of “new” hobbies, name it: collected and tried to take care of plants (but after a week I’ve gotten lazy, so my Dad continued watering them and they withered after a couple of months hehe): took care of a dog (my Mom continued taking care of Britney~my Pekingese Dog, until she died after mounted by an AsKal, this is a true story, I will talk about this in a different entry post); I’ve tried ARTS! You know, crayons, paints and stuff on a canvass, after a few days, I got lazy again, you know what happened next.

I can talk for a day or two for the things I’ve done to help me cope with my loneliness because he was away. You might think I am overacting, but honestly, that time I was only 20 years old. Some hopeless romantic kid who just found out about love, so yeah, call me crazy. Hehe

So the point here is, do something new. Promise, it will alleviate your loneliness.

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2. LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

The first language I’ve self-learned was Finnish. (Nauso kasi ‘yun dati sa Baguio e.) Then later, of course, Japanese. Try to learn a new language, it will be so dramatic if you say I love you in different languages, right? Or try to learn new dialects from our very own country, like for me, I speak Pangasinan and Ilocano fluently, and I am currently learning how to speak in Cebuano, because Sancho was assigned to a Cebuano-speaking area and actually he could already speak fluently that sometimes he doesn’t notice he’s talking to me in Cebuano. (Lagi niya ako Binibisaya nang hindi niya napapansin, gusto ko rin matuto para makasagot ako sakaniya hehe.)

3. ENROLL IN A SHORT COURSE

That first assignment he took right after his graduation was one of the deepest dents in our relationship. But I took it head on, and came out alive and somewhat productive. As he was busy applying his military prowess in the field, I, too, was applying my baking prowess.  LOL I enrolled in Baking Class for about a month or so. At first it was just for fun, or something to keep me busy, then it dawned on me, I was actually enjoying every single minute I spent inside the Baking Lab. I just lab it. LOL

Learn something new, promise it will be worth it, want to know why? Because when Sancho learned I was good at baking, everytime he comes home from deployment, we bake and cook together. It’s actually kind of fun! Next time, I’ll be enrolling in Culinary, promise!

4. VOLUNTEER

There are a lot of weekend activities you could do in your own community, it will really help you expand your horizon or grow your network.

When Sancho was busy during his first assignment after his graduation, I was left with no choice but to actually face reality of finding my own career path. I’ve volunteered to a provincial hospital and signed up for a Dialysis Program/Training–which I think I got from his brother, because his brother is a Dialysis Nurse. After the training, I went back to Baguio and thought of signing up for PMA Station Hospital’s Nurse Residency Program. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was actually that Nurse who took care of Cadets and Soldiers for almost a year inside the Academy! I will share some stories about my experience  in a different post.

5. TRAVEL

The first area I’ve ever been to without him was in Aklan, yes in Boracay. We also went to Iloilo to eat Bachoy with my Family. Believe me, it will give you stories to share when you’re already back in each others’ arms.

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6. PLAN YOUR NEXT TRIP TOGETHER

I’ve always wanted to go to Tagaytay! Haha I never had the chance to go back there as and Adult. LOL I’ve studied Language in the Metro for almost a year but then again, I never had that single chance of going there. Oh wait, I have. It was when he got back from Schooling and then I tried to lure him into going there but when it was time to leave (at 0300H) he actually asked if we could do it some other time, and went back to sleep. Poor baby!

So plan your next trip and actually implement it. hehe

7. MAKE YOUR BUCKET LIST

Believe it or not, I started to make a list of our “Relationship Goals” when we were only days old. Haha I will actually take a photo of it if the notebook was with me, but it is in Sancho’s keeping. I wrote there stuff like, go on a Movie Date, Dance in the rain, Travel together etc etc etc… Be specific!

8. DATE YOUR PARENTS

After College, I told you I didn’t for once look for a job, so I had the luxury of time to be with my parents as in ALL THE TIME for more than a year. We had coffee 3x a day in our house, we went for road trips together, we saw some movies together, and we went to new places. Thank God I had the chance to be with them esp my Dad.

9. MAKE YOUR OWN SCRAPBOOK

I always wanted to make our very own scrapbook, pero laging hindi natutuloy. Print your important photos and make some scribbles or do some arts! I think it’s fun!

10. MOSAIC YOUR PHOTOS

I want mosaic of our photos together. Pero I want puzzle pieces para may twist. I just don’t know how to do this, yet. But, I think, when I’ll get time, I can actully look for a suitable app and put my hands on it. Try it, too!

11. MAKE AVP OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP MILESTONES

When we get married, I want to show a audio-video presentation of how our relationship started. It might cost me lengthy hours of doing it, but I think it will be worth it. Make yours, too, and show him when he gets home!

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Waiting for his R&R is actually boring. Hehe But then again, if you look on a brighter side, you will realize it’s actually quality time for yourself and for your family to bond or to do new things. Keep yourself busy with things to do, and later on, just before you know it, he will be there right at your doorsteep looking for you. Go girl!

***THE LIST GOES ON! Comment or message me so we can input your thoughts! I love to hear from you! What do you do during his Deployment aside from work? 🙂

Above photo taken from Naoshima Island with Sancho. Sorry for our sun-kissed feet! LOL

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ONLY GIRL PROBLEM & 10+ Wedding Prep Blues

So based on my posted article LF: Wedding Prep Tips, I was asking my readers if they have suggestions/tips regarding wedding preparation for a military-civis wedding happening in Baguio City, specifically at PMA Lopez Hall.

Wala akong idea regarding weddings, because first of all, I do not have sisters, only 4 brothers and a baby brother who is now 25 years old (I have 5 Siblings, imagine, wala man lang naging babae sa kanila ‘nung pinanganak). Apparently, I’ve come from a “wrestling arena”kind of upbringing, where the only “Feminine Model”I know is my Mom, and my “Coaches” are the Barakos of our family–my Dad and my brothers. I’ve played a lot of Barbie Dolls, but I prefer playing Tamiya, Teks, and shooting pellets from play guns my brother used to play. Also, I’ve kind of gotten used to intramuscular pain on my deltoid region because my baby brother used to punch me when we were kids, kasi nga instead of paper dolls, ang nilalaro ko, wrestling, iyon kasi ang uso sa bahay namin. Believe me, kilala ko ang mga Wrestlers ng WWE. In short, wala talaga akong female role model aside from my Mom—who is also a “simple, don’t bring me crap or I’ll punch you in the face” type of a woman, I guess, naging ganun na rin ako hahaha. Pero kidding aside, my Mom is very thoughtful, and very modest, pero gusto lahat pinaplano ang mga bagay, strikto, madiskarte at tough love, pero sa kabila nun sobrang mapagmahal at isa pa, conservative. Hindi lang talaga mahilig si Mama sa mga makeup and all (which is somehow, kabaliktaran sa akin kasi mahilig ako sa makeup).

So to cut the story short, ang hirap mag-prepare ng isang kasalan kapag wala ka man lang idea. Siguro ang naging mentor ko na lang buong buhay ko ay sina Google at Youtube lol. Kapag may hindi alam, Google na agad iyan. Sa Youtube nga lang ako natutong maglagay ng foundation e at maglagay ng paborito ng mga babaeng, KILAY. Haha Kilay is life!

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Of course, may mga gusto pa rin akong details regarding sa Kasal ko, kapag ikakasal na kami ni Sancho. Ewan ko lang kung mag-aagree kayo, pero somehow, I want to know your thoughts regarding these stuff para naman may mag-advise saakin, hindi lang puro google and youtube.

Wedding “Stuff” I want:

1. Simple and Solemn

Proud Iglesia Ni Cristo kami ni Sancho, and of course belonging to the Church of Christ, gusto naming i-keep ang solemnidad ng Kasal namin kasi sagrado iyon at sobrang napaka-halagang okasyon.

2. Low Cost

Oo matagal na kami, at kapag ikakasal na kami, 9 years na kami nun, kahit sabihin mong may naitatabi na kami, ayaw naman naming i-gastos lahat ng life savings namin sa isang araw–araw na kakasimula pa lang namin sa Buhay May Asawa. ‘Di ba? Don’t get me wrong when I say “low cost” I don’t mean to say na tipirin ko iyong kasal namin, ang gusto ko, detalyado pa rin, desente, pero nasa reasonable price. Guys, maganda na maging practical, pangarap ko pang magka-Sancho Jr. hehe

3. Hand-written Invites

Yes, sulat-kamay. Medyo maka-luma, pero para saakin, classic. Kita niyo iyong logo ng PMG? Sulat-kamay lang iyon, pero digitalized. Lol. Anong naisip niyo, iyong isa-isa akong magsusulat? Hehe pwede rin naman, kaso baka magkaroon naman ng sandamakmak na kalyo ang kama ko niyan. Haha

Maganda bang idea ang hand-written invites? Alam niyo iyong pangarap ko, isang page lang andun na lahat ng detalye. Walang mga ribbon, glitters, kahoy, butones, shining shimmering splendid or whatnots. Gusto ko simple lang talaga, hahaha boyish ba masyado? Lol (Wala naman akong masasabi sa mga gumagamit ng mga mabonggang invites na may glitters or ribbon ha, maganda nga iyon kasi pinaghandaan talaga nila, pero kung sa mismong kasal ko, since ako lang ang gagawa ng invites ko and wala akong alam sa arts gaano, gusto ko iyong kayang-kaya ko lang gawin, and pasok sa bet kong style, kumbaga)

4. DIY Souvenir

May idea na ako sa giveaways/wedding favors, naisip ko parang loot bags na lang, ISA PA, ayoko ng may mukha namin ni Sancho sa Souvenir. Gusto ko iyong dispensable na bagay, iyong nagagamit/nakakain at hindi lang naitatabi sa aparador. Walang memorabilia sa wedding? Ok lang iyon, material na bagay lang naman iyon, basta kasama ka namin sa wedding photos, ok na ok na iyon pantago ng memories, ‘diba?

5. Wedding Hashtag

Guys alam niyo ba talaga ang gamit ng hashtags? #hashtag iyong ganito, para sa mga batang nagbabasa, iyong hindi talaga alam ang gamit (kasi ako rin noon di ko alam ito), ang hashtag ay ginagamit para ma-narrow ang search mo pagdating sa isang topic. For example, gusto mong maghanap ng rustic wedding ideas, so i-type mo sa search button #rusticwedding lahat ng mga rustic wedding photos and posts makikita mo na. So based dito sa idea na ito, kapag ginamit mo ang hashtag (na dapat specific para specific din ang search), makikita mo lahat ng posts and photos sa kasal niyo. Example, #Sancho&Kim2018 #SanchoNaSiKim mga ganitong hashtag ba, hehe, gusto kong mag-incorporate niyan sa kasal ko para kita ko agad mga photos from my wedding.

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6. Photo Booth

Mahilig ako sa litrato. Mahilig akong kumuha ng litrato, at mahilig akong tumingin ng litrato (mana sa Tatay hehe). Gusto kong makita lahat ng mga taong nandoon sa Kasal ko na nag-eenjoy and doing crazy stuff, siyempre lalabas lang iyan ‘pag naglagay ka ng photo booth. Pero, wala akong idea how much they charge you when you want to hire photo booth services for occasions such as weddings. May idea po ba kayo? Please share naman po saakin. Hehe

7. Flowers and Balloons?

Nasabi ko sa past post ko na 80k ang services ng Florist. Guys, bulaklak lang ito, pero bakit ganito na lang ka-mahal? Actually, kung magaling lang ako sa Ikebana, ako na talaga ang gagawa. Gusto ko lang ng decent boquet, (TBH, wala akong favorite flower, wala akong idea sa bulaklak), at konting mga style lang diyan, buga na iyan. Pero to spend your 80k pesos for flower arrangement, ‘di yata papasa iyon sa pagiging spendthrift ko. Why not incorporate balloons na lang, para hindi solely flowers? Or paper flowers iyong iba? Then mga drapes na Kurtinang ordinaryo lang? Para hindi ganoon ka-mahal? Ano sa palagay niyo?

8. Chairs?

There are regular monobloc chairs, and so-called “Tiffany” chairs, hmmmm… What are your thoughts on this?

9. Wedding Theme

I have no idea! Grabe wala akong alam sa theme theme na iyan. Ano ba iyong maganda? Gusto ko classic lang talaga, simple pero elegante, iyong hindi mabongga. Please turuan niyo ako, ano pa ba ang ibang theme na pwede sa isang military wedding?

10. Pre-Nup Theme

Guys, may theme din ba ang Pre-Nup? Ano naman iyon? E ang gusto lang namin ni Sancho sa PMA magpakuha ng litrato para ‘di na kami lalayo. May mga kelangan pa bang style iyon? Like mga isusuot ganyan? Alam niyo naiisip ko pa lang, sumasakit na iyong ulo ko. I really need your help.

11. Wedding Coordinator

On The Day Wedding Coordinator pumapalo siya ng 25k pesos. Kelangan ko pa ba nito?

12. Wedding Gown

May idea ba kayo kung saan pwedeng bumili? Gusto ko iyong mapapasaakin after, pero sa reasonable price. Hehe Narinig ko meron sa Divi, saan doon? Anong shop?

13. Cake Topper

Iyong Military Man and Nurse na Cake Topper, meron akong nakita dati, pero ‘di ko alam saan iyon nabili e. May alam ba kayo?

14. PMA Band

Na-try niyo na po bang mag-attend ng Kasal sa PMA na merong PMA Band? Pwede niyo ba silang tanungin kung sakali, paano iyong protocol to ask them to perform?

15. PMA Cadets for Draw Sword

E ito? Please tell me!

16. PMA Lopez Hall

How early do we need to ask for permission, and paano? Kanino?

17. Caterer

Ano ba ang price range ng mga Caterers ngayon? Parang naririnig ko 500pesos daw per head ang pinakamura ngayon, ganun na lang ba ka-mahal? Hehe

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18. Sounds and Lighting System

Pwede ba kayang humiram sa PMA? Or hahanap kami sa ibang supplier or contact?

19. Requirements from Munisipyo

Cenomar and Birth Certificate namin, then ano pa ba?

*****

Gosh!! Super hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. First of all, ano ba dapat kong simulan? Sa sobrang dami kong ginagawa sa present life ko, at kahit way too far pa iyong wedding date namin, dahil nga OC ako,  as early as possible, gusto ko nang maghanda. I live by goals, gusto ko na matapos lahat ng ‘to or else hindi ako makaka-move on sa bagong goals or bagong idea sa utak ko. Hehe sobrang ADHD lang, please, kung sino pong may mga idea, this time, I want your answers!! I will be waiting patiently for your messages. I know you will be very glad to help me. I’m so excited to read your comments/personal messages! Thank you in advance!

Above photos from Helena Lopes via pezels.com

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LF: Wedding Prep Tips

Desperately Looking For: Wedding Preparation Tips

I’m so happy to share with you that a year from now, I am going to marry the love of my life! I know you all know about it because I’ve posted an article about how he proposed, and until now, I can’t imagine na ito na nga, matutuloy na talaga. Ikakasal na kami ni Sancho! Yipeee…

I know it’s kind of early to really go deep into details, pero, alam niyo naman OC ako, so I’ve tried asking people/wedding suppliers about their price or packages, and sobrang nagulat ako kasi parang dolyar!! Oh no. Reality check: ang mahal magpakasal sa Pilipinas.

Biruin niyo iyon, sa flowers pa lang, it will cost you 60-80k PhP. Flowers pa lang iyan ha wala pang mga theme and all… Video coverage naman, almost a hundred thousand kapag gusto mo talaga iyong magandang klase from pre-nup and all.

At dahil dito, gusto ko mag-ask lalo na sa mga readers nating ikinasal na or may idea about weddings, ano po ba iyong mga dapat i-ready o paghandaan.

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A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Si Sancho ay Phil Army, ako naman ay Civis and Proud INC po kami. Ang alam ko magkakaroon pa ng BI or Background Inspection ang Military saakin dahil nga ako ay isang civilian at mag-aasawa ako ng isang Sundalo, tama po ba iyon? At siyempre, iba pa iyong mga requirements namin sa Church at sa Munisipyo. Actually wala talaga akong alam, kung saan magsisimula.

Sa mga nakakaalam, pwede niyo po ba akong tulungan? Tips naman po para mas mapadali ang paghahanda namin.

Ang gusto sana naming Venue sa PMA Lopez Hall of Leaders para doon mismo kung saan nagsimula ang lahat… Paano po ba? At paano rin ba kapag mag-ask ng Draw Sword from Cadets? Caterers? PMA Band? Wedding Themes? Wala po akong alam. Hehe This time, I want to ask for your suggestions, and kung may mga idea kayo pwede niyo bang i-share din dito via comments or personal message? Please po!! Super makakatulong talaga!

Looking forward to reading your comments!! Thanks in advance!

Above photo from Ibrahim Asad via pexels.com

FMI: Read Related Article: ONLY GIRL PROBLEM & 10+Wedding Prep Blues

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7 Reasons Finding “The One” Early in Life Will Help You Become More Successful

“…and then I met you.”

In love, they say, don’t rush, or you’re still too young to be in a relationship; but what if the universe conspired to let you meet the love of your life, before you even know which career path you will take? I say that’s totally fine, why? Because there are a lot of reasons why finding the right person early in life could help you become even more successful; and here’s a few:

YOU MATURE TOGETHER

Accept it or not, people mature with their age. You will not have any amount of wisdom there is in the world as long as you won’t take a year after year of failures. Hence, when you experience growing up or maturing with the same person, nothing else will give you the assurance that the person is really worth keeping.

YOU BUILD YOUR DREAMS TOGETHER

Coming together is a BEGINNING.
Keeping together is PROGRESS.
Working together is SUCCESS.

As you take every milestone towards your goals, hand in hand, you take each step needed to get you wherever life may take you. You started as lost kids who tried to find their place in the world, and later on, you figured out which path to take. But what’s more amazing was you started to build your dreams together.

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YOU EXPERIENCE FAILURE TOGETHER

Seeing someone in the lowest place they could possibly be, and still choosing to love them anyway, is nothing but unconditional love. Nothing comes easy in life which is worth keeping. It has to be tested with time and adversities. But when you surpassed each hurdle that blocks your way, still with the same person, is uncustomary. Being together during the highs is given, but staying together during the lows is exceptional.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS YOU LIKE THEY DO

With you… I feel safe and sound.

Sometimes, when you cannot decipher which path to take, or worse is when you can’t even understand yourself anymore, the only person who could only put you back to your sanity is no one but your mate. For having seen you during your bests and your worsts, they know to calm you during an uproar.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS THEM LIKE YOU DO

Everybody has their own tranquility inside, but when complicated situation happens, you know that the only person they need is you. Why? Because you know how to bring them back to daylight when they lose their way. You know, because you know their heart.

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YOU SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES

Nobody else’s side will you ever wish to be, but right by the side of your significant other, especially during your success. For helping you fight the battles life continues to give; for giving you strength when you are weak; for giving you enough guidance when you lose your way; and for constantly receiving push when you lose determination, you just want to be by their side when finally, what you dreamed of was finally realised.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, YOU HAVE EACH OTHER

Wherever life takes you, no matter how many roads you choose to take, and no matter how many mistakes you put through, there will always be that assurance that there’s someone waiting for you at the end of the road—with or without the bacon.

“Forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.”

Above photo from our readers Miss Sai & Sir Kim during their prenup. <3

Read Related Articles:

“God’s Time is Always Perfect”-  from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

Love Letter from A Cadet from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

 

 

 

 

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Love Letter From A Cadet

This article is from a contribution of our reader, Mrs. Sai Nalang.

Message from Ms Sai to PMG: You might want to add this. Naghukay tuloy ako sa box namin. Everytime he writes me a letter, he never forgets to remind me that we have a wedding to attend after his graduation. Haha”

This letter is what her husband wrote her when he was still in PMA as a Graduating Cadet. Super Kilig!!! Read on!

***

23 2000H JUNE 2010

Love Love,

Happy 8th Monthsary. I love you so much . Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine here at the Academy, yun nga lang I’m missing you so much. Wala ng CP kasi mahigpit na dito. Take life na lang ako kung mag-CP but hindi pa rin tayo (pwedeng) dalawa sa pakikipagcommunicate. Kaya nga may ballpen at papel hehe Mahal!!! Could you believe it? 8 months na tayo. I love and miss miss miss you. Kaya dadaliin ko na ang pag-graduate dito para makasama na kita agad. All you have  to do is to take care of yourself. Remember, we have a wedding to attend to, which is our wedding, ok? hehe (Properly ha) Concentrate on your studies, hmmmp, iwas sa mga surot!!! Ha? I love you so much!

PS Wag pabasa ka Shane, magrereact like hell.

Your Love Love

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****

Read Related Article: “God’s Time is Always Perfect- Sai N.”

PMG Notes: Guys, gusto kong magreact like hell sa sobrang kilig, hehe buti na lang hindi ako si Shane. Lol Grabe lang talaga. It was June of 2010, anong ginagawa niyo nung mga panahong iyon? Ako, ilang months pa lang niyan nung nakilala ko si Sancho at wala akong idea where it will lead, pero si Kim&Sai, they all have their lives figured out, as early as 2010, while everyone’s not having any clue even on what to get for lunch on that day. This is so amazing. This is so beautiful not to share to the world.

Again, thank you Sir Kim and Ms Sai for entrusting your delicate stories to PMG.  <3 Super love love.

Above phot via Lum3n.com

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