How To Avoid Heated Arguments

It’s You & Me VS. The Problem NOT You VS. Me

Since marami sa inyo, Readers natin, ang nagme-message sa PMG dahil sa kanilang mga heartbroken stories, tampuhan, and mga away na nagsimula lang sa “pagka-miss” and all… Tonight, ito iyong topic natin…

HOW TO AVOID HEATED ARGUMENTS

“Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” -Sancho

I am not saying na kami ni Sancho, hindi kami nagdadaan sa mga problema, kasi kung hindi rin kami nagdaan sa mga tampuhan or mga break up stories, hindi kami magiging matibay at aabot sa 8 years hehe… pero iyang nga, ganiyan sinasabi niya kapag inaaway ko siya… “Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” Ang sweet ‘no? Haha Pero hindi iyan sweet ‘pag beast mode ka. LOL

Yes, normal lang magkaroon ng tampuhan… Pero hindi ito ang dahilan para mag-away na kayo. Magtatampuhan, pero magpapatawaran din sa bandang huli. Ganito kasi ‘yan e, kapag meron kayong arguments, lagi niyong titignan iyong sarili niyo objectively, at kung ano ba talaga iyong issue. Hindi iyong, “Ikaw kasi e…” Hindi ganun.. Haha siyempre sa mga Ladies na medyo bagets bagets pa, mapupusok pa ang damdamin, huminahon lang tayo… Huwag na huwag magbibitiw ng masasakit na salita na hindi na natin kayang bawiin.

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Okay, nag-away kayo kasi hindi siya nakapag-reply agad o kaya umalis siya sa kalagitnaan ng heated argument kasi hindi mo alam, baka rin may duty siya di ba o tinawag ng Upper Class or ni Bossing… Minsan kasi nagsisimulang lumala ang isang tampuhan, magiging away, kapag tayong girls, uminit na ang ulo o kaya naman, napikon… hahaha lagi namang ganun di ba.. siyempre babae lang din tayo, marami tayong intensed or extreme emotions.. Hormonal? Lol

Una rin kasi sa lahat, napipikon tayo kasi nga hindi nila nami-meet iyong expectations natin… Arguments start with unmet expectations. Ito observation ko lang sa relasyon namin ha… In-assess ko kasi sarili ko e, madalas kasi akong mainis dati sa kaniya kapag seen lang message ko or kapag may sinasabi ako na parang hindi naman niya siniseryoso, lalung-lalo pa kapag may important discussion kami tapos bigla na lang siyang umaalis ng walang paalam..

Di ba, nakakainis naman talagay iyon? Hahaha… Natanong ko sa sarili ko, napakadaling intindihin naman sana na may trabaho iyong tao, kaya siya biglang umaalis or what… tapos ako bakit ako maiinis? Kasi nga, gaya ng sabi ko, unmet expectations. Ine-expect ko kasi sa kaniya, pakikinggan niya ako, that we’ll discuss things thoroughly ganiyan, o kaya magiging sobrang available siya sa akin, kasi nga, hello, girlfriend niya ako. Iyan iyong mga expectations ko, pero hindi niya nami-meet because of some reasons—reasons na valid naman di ba?

Work With Kim Sancho

Everytime na nag-away kayo, huwag kaagad maninisi. Alamin mo muna kung anong dahilan bakit in the first place, seen zone ka lang, o kaya hindi siya kaagad naka-reply or what.. Sabi nga nila, give the benefit of the doubt... Sige, para sa mga bata pa na hindi masyadong maiintindihan iyan (kasi ako rin noon inaamin ko hindi ko talaga iyan ma-gets haha), ano ba iyong benefit of the doubt? Ito iyong bibigyan mo iyong tao ng “space” para sa mga bagay na “nagawa” na niya na hindi dapat magawa kasi ina-accept mo iyong possibility na meron siyang valid explanation kung bakit niya iyon nagawa–don’t get me wrong when I say, “bagay na nagawa niya” ha, iba pa rin iyong mambabae siya or what ibang usapan na iyon… What I’m trying to say is, iyong mga bagay na nagawa niya na kinasama ng loob mo like seen zone ka, or hindi ka niya natawagan ng ilang araw…

Everytime na darating tayo sa point na mag-aaway, or siya iyong pinaka-nakakainis na tao at the moment, lagi mong tatanungin iyong sarili mo, bakit ka ba talaga nagagalit? Sabihin mo nga sa sarili mo ano na lang ba iyong dahilan na magalit ka na lang ng ganiyan? Kung may point ka naman kung bakit ka nainis sa kaniya, huminahon ka muna bago mo siya kausapin… YOU and HIM versus the problem, NOT you versus him. Ok?

Tignan mo lagi ang situation objectively, ano ba talaga ang nangyari? May reason ba siya na gawin iyon? Nag-sorry na ba siya? Nagpaliwanag na ba siya? Bago ang lahat, kinalma mo na ba iyong sarili mo? Ok kung ok na lahat ng mga iyan, this time, pag-usapan niyong dalawa na parang teammates, ano ba iyong pwede niyong gawin para hindi na iyon mangyari. Pwede bang, i-message ka muna niya bago siya umalis or before hand magsabi na siya na magiging busy ka para kapag naputol ang usapan niyo, alam mo na na busy na siya. Pag-usapan niyo ano ang dapat niyong gawin. Pareho kayong matatalinong tao, at kaya niyo iyan pag-usapan.

OPEN COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy and lasting relationship. Dapat marunong kayong mag-communicate ng feelings niyo sa isa’t isa through words, bakit ka galit, bakit ka nainis, bakit ka masaya, bakit ka in love, mga bagay na sobrang importante.

Kasi sa relationship natin, bihira tayong magkita, kaya kahit na gusto mo na lang sana ay yakapin ka niya para hindi ka na galit, e hindi naman niya iyon magagawa diba? Wish niya lang hahaha… Pinagseseparate kayo ng malayong distansiya e… and since LDR tayo, tandaan mo ‘to, 97percent of Communication is NON-VERBAL. May 3percent lang tayong kailangang gamitin sa tamang paraan para healthy ang relationship natin.. Kasi, iyong part na NON-VERBAL, hindi mo naman iyon magagawa di ba? hehehe so make the most out of the 3percent na natitira which is iyong VERBAL part.

REMEMBER: Bago ka magsalita, huminahon ka muna. Iyan ang totoong Military Girlfriend/Military Wife, laging kalmado iyan.

This is it for tonight, I hope marami kang napulot na lesson sa aking post na ito, paki-tag mo iyong love of your life para ma-open iyong mind niya na meron siyang mga expectations na kailangang i-meet para ikaw laging masaya, haha because remember, Happy Wife (or GF), Happy Life! Lol Para ‘di siya miserable ‘pag inaway-away mo. lol

“Baby, just because we have arguments doesn’t mean I’m going to break up with you. I love you.”

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 above photo from freestocks.org via pexels.com

 

The Person Behind Proud Military Girl

Hello, there!

You might be reading this because you want to know who Kim is, or who owns this page/blog. Lol I’m sorry to tell you, but I think this is not the right time to reveal who owns this blog. First I made an alternate account (which I might have used to add you as my friend on Facebook because I know/I have a feeling you belong to the Military World). This alternate account I named Kim is not my real FB account, I just use it to navigate to publishing tools of FB, and Kim is not my real name. I just used this name because it was how my late Dad called my youngest sibling (I used it because I want to commemorate my late Father.)

Why PMG? I know right. Lol. First of all, I am a girlfriend of a Junior Officer who graduated from the Philippine Military Academy. Some of you might know something about me, etc. But I want to keep my real identity privately because I want to be “not biased” when I write my articles.

Someone asked me why can’t I tell my real name, “Are you hiding something?” Lol the answer is: I am not. I just want to be private kasi baka sumikat ako and mawalan ng kabuluhan lahat ng meaning ng mga sinusulat ko, maging tungkol lahat saakin, the fact is I am writing generally, ayokong maging subjective lahat ng mga articles dito when I told you who I was. I want to write things regarding military love stories, majority comes from my own thoughts, but these thoughts, I think might be useful to others who also belong to my world.

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But, Why?

Being in a military relationship (especially when we started dating, he was then a Cadet) was tough. I don’t know who to turn to. I’m not really sure my civilian friends understand completely what I tell them, and I cannot hide the fact that I’m intimidated by Senior Officers’ girlfriends because , one, they are “upperclass,” two, I might be “not interested enough” to be a part of the club. lol (my melancholic side of me, esp when I was younger!)

Later on I met people who belong to the same crowd (they aren’t scary at all haha in fact they became my closest friends), some of them pursued the military marriage, some of them drifted from the military relationship, or I say, have broken up with their then-Cadet Boyfriends, but we remained in tact.

I’ve experienced a lot of emotions from this “military girlfriend” experience from Cadetship to Deployment until First Promotion etc. With this, I have a vision to create something useful to other “beginners” who are clueless kung anong pinapasok nila. Lol. I want to tell the (younger) Ladies, (who once was me) that, it’s going to be fine, we have each other.

I know this is a journey. Military life is a journey, so while I’m here fighting the unknown battles of being the woman behind my brave Soldier, I also would want to find inspiration to those who made it, to those Upperclassmen and Upperclass Ma’am who have the reality I once dreamt of, and continue dreaming—to finally be with the one I love, not the Soldier, but the man I decided to love since Day 1. I know we are just starting with our relationship, but looking at the Seniors who are (still) happily married and might now be traveling the world or rearing their grandchildren (after their Soldier Husband’s Service to our Beloved Country has been paid—by their time, by their life) makes me feel inspired.

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This blog was made out of courage of wanting to meet new people, newbies or veterans from the “Military Relationship,” I know we are the chosen few, but I know we speak tales of courage and patriotism being chosen in this precious “field.”

PMG is not just about me, it’s about every person who belongs to the Military Relationship looking for love and belongingness they cannot find from their reach. This is not just a story, but this is a “book.” The “book” which contains rare love stories from different walks of life which happened to be coloured in camouflage.

Welcome to PMG! This is your story. It is yours. I’m giving it to you.

To those who belong to the “Ladies” rank, the Kaydet Girls, the Officers’ Girls the Officers’ Wives, the Soldier’s Girlfriends, the Soldier’s Wives, I just want you to know, that YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. We are the bravest of all the ranks they could find in the Military Service, because we are our Soldiers’ sounding board, their tough wall, their greatest dream, and their greatest success.

To our Soldiers, Kudos to all of you! We know how much you could sacrifice your life for our fellow countrymen, how much more would you sacrifice for us? We love you so much, more than you’ll ever know, more than you could ever imagine. If only one statement could be used to summarize what we really wanted in life, it would be this statement: “I want to hold your hand when we’re 80, and say we made it.”

***This page is owned by a private individual. Any views or opinion regarding the Philippine Military Academy, Armmed Forces of the Philippines, or the Philippine Soldiers are own judgment of the writer. This page does not represent any entity or institution named above, unless otherwise stated.***

 

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Top 10 Most Read Articles of 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Once again, we were given another year to “get it right,” and we thank the Lord for giving us another life to live. But before we  go ahead and start the new year head on, I would like to reminisce the past year with you.

02 August 2017 was the date PMG FB Page was created, and from then on, I was with you all along, and for that, I personally THANK YOU! Thank you for your unending messages, your valuable comments and your shares!

So here are the Top 10 Most Read Articles of PMG from its 655 Followers! Again, thank  you so much for without you, PMG will not be possible!

TOP 10

How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated. CONTINUE READING

TOP 9

9 Reasons Being A Military Spouse Is The Toughest Job In The Military

“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what is required.” -Winston Churchill

A military wife goes through a lot of things but chooses to keep it to herself because she doesn’t want to bother her family or friends, after deciding to marry the love of her life, who happens to be in the military. That’s why, those emotions and thoughts were only kept unsaid and remained as secrets that only those who go through it could understand. Nevertheless, here are some of the things which justify why being a military spouse is the toughest job in the military. CONTINUE READING

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TOP 8

7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple. CONTINUE READING

TOP 7

6 Reasons Every Military Wife/Gf Should Visit The ‘Camp’

“Behind every strong soldier, there is a strong woman, who stands behind him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.” -Anonymous

Most of the military women especially spouses have formed the habit of staying at home. They wait for their Soldier knocking by their house’s doorstep, and some divert their longing and focus their attention to take care of their kids or manage the house. But this habit of not visiting your military partner in his work area doesn’t usually help the relationship grow, sometimes, it leads to future gap or misunderstanding.

After having asked military spouses who stayed stunning even after giving birth, and from collected experiences of awesome military girlfriends, and Officers’ Girls, here are some of the many reasons why every Military Wife/Gf should visit their man in the Camp. CONTINUE READING

TOP 6

8 Things Only A Military Wife/Girlfriend Will Understand

When you are in a military relationship, chances are, you are always being asked by your friends what it really feels like loving someone who is a thousand miles away from you, and chances are, no matter how you explain your thoughts and feelings to them, they will never understand you, unless they’ll experience it firsthand.

In behalf of the minority, and representing the “silent” background of the strife, allow me to share with you this reality, and what it really feels like loving a Soldier. CONTINUE READING

TOP 5

9 Warning Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

This is a response to our reader who wants to know if this certain Cadet is really serious about her

I’m not an advocate for busting someone or anything doing negative stuff just to prove a point, but this time, for the sake of our reader, I want to talk about this topic

I have a lot of thoughts about this, because, I know a lot of ladies who were brought to sudden heartbreak because the man they think were serious about them, were actually just fooling around. CONTINUE READING

 TOP 4

IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before

Once and for all I want to answer all our family’s and friends’ question, “Bakit hindi pa kayo nagpapakasal?”

Natatawa ako kasi lagi na lang ganito ang tanong saamin ng mga friends namin lalo na ang mga pamilya namin…

Bakit nga ba? CONTINUE READING

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TOP 3

9 Cute But Annoying Things Your Cadet BF Tells You

1.

Situation: Pagkatapos niyong kumain at nakaupo pa kayo sa table kung saan kayo kumain, say, sa food court or any other restaurants, tapos ikaw: bigla kang naglabas ng mirror kasi titignan mo lang naman kung meron kang dumi sa mukha or ngipin… sasabihin niya, “My, hindi dito ang tamang place para magmake-up, ‘dun ka dapat sa sink.”

2.

Everytime na kakain ka ng certain fruit, like saging, sasabihin niya, “Alam mo ba My, tinuruan kaming kumain ng ganyan in a formal way, parang ganito ‘ata iyon.” Tapos kukunin niya iyong knife, itatry niyang i-fruit ninja iyong saging, mula sa balat, hanggang sa magiging bite size na lang. Hahaha omg

3.

Ganun din ‘pag kumain kayo ng crab. Haha CONTINUE READING

TOP 2

Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl

This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2011. Original title: “Memoirs of A Weekend Girlfriend.”

*****

“Nakauwi ka na ba? Musta pala iyong pinanood mong movie?”

These were the last words he sent me through SMS. It was only 2030H then and it was Saturday. It’s the 30th day of October to be exact. I thought he just fell asleep because of the exasperating activities he is doing habitually inside the academy. After an hour, I texted him again, saying,

“Sleep tight, antukin ka talga. Nga pala, wag kang masyadong malungkot dyan ah kahit mag-isa ka sa barracks. Nand2 lang ako sana hindi mo iyon maklimutan! Good night, my Indian! ^^”

Waking up from nowhere from one of my midnight sleep-awakening episodes during that night, I reached out for my cellphone, expecting a message from him. Nothing. So I just continued my sleep and thought that maybe he was just back from the routine of logging in the cellphone and so much of that what-have-you’s inside.
October 31, November 1, 2, nothing… 4 days… 5 days… 6 days… still, there’s no text from my beloved Cadet. CONTINUE READING

TOP 1

Yes, well, if you are a Follower of PMG, you know very well who Cadet J is! And yes, he topped off all the articles from PMG’s 2017 posts! Imagine! Almost earned 12,000 views! Here’s our Top 1 ***DRUM ROLL***

PMG Notes: This story was contributed by a former Cadet (now an Army Officer), whose love for his girlfriend is unsurmountable, he has to immortalize their story LOL. Itago na lang daw natin siya sa pangalang Cadet J, isa raw siyang simple at mapagmahal na nilalang. Ehem. Actually guys, hindi lang siya basta-bastang Cadet. He graduated top in his class, biruin niyo, hindi lang talaga brawn and brains ang mga Cadets natin, meron din silang big love na nakatago sa dibdib nila (hindi lang halata hehe!). In fairness nakakakilig ang kwento niya. This story is from a Cadet’s POV, first in PMG. Thanks, Cadet J, for trusting PMG!

LOVE OF A LIFETIME

CHAPTER 1: Find Out

September 17, 2010, Friday

Matapos ang limang araw na bagbagan sa acads (academic bombardment), heto, busy na naman ang Cadet Corps sa paglilinis ng kwarto, pagsa-shine ng lahat ng sapatos pati lahat ng metal parts na gagamitin sa parada at pagpe-prepare sa buong barracks para naman every is happy sa buong weekend dahil may privilege kami…

September 18, 2010, Saturday

So heto na nga, Sabado na. Barracks and Ranks Inspection na naman, pagkatapos, Testimonial Parade and review para sa bisita. Normal routine na sa mga Kadete ang Parade and Review every Saturday.

So after ng Parade, vaultfiles nag 60- 60 (ngmamadali) ang lahat para magbihis ng Dress White para sa noon mess. Muntik ko ng makalimutan MOG (Messenger Of the Guard) pala ako. Ito yung mga duty guards na nag i-entertain ng mga bisita sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge, Lopez Hall at PMA Museum at nag-eexplain sa kanila kung may mga tanong sila about sa Academy or may hinahanap silang kadete. So excuse ako sa noon mess at dumiretso na ako sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge. Kasama ng ibang MOG, doon lang kami patayu-tayo, palakad-lakad. Tapos lilipat na naman sa Lopez Hall.

After noon, may mga bisita nang pumasok at ngtatanong, so ini-entertain naman naming nang maayos. Kamay, Ngiti, Bati ‘ika nga.

CONTINUE READING “LOVE OF MY LIFE”

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Again, thank you for making 2017 possible , PMG Readers! 2018 will be so much fun with our growing community, thank you! I promise that I will continue giving you love posts to read, as long as there is One Soul left to read my entries, I will continue this quest of being a PROUD MILITARY GIRL. Thank you guys! I love you all! Happy New Year!

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How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

Actually, if I could go right into the gist of it, I could finish this post using a few words. LOL But of course, I won’t spoil it.

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated.

I’ve tried doing stuff to keep me busy or to keep me from thinking about him, if he was doing okay, if he was eating well, and most especially, if he was safe. TBH, it made me a little crazy and paranoid. Some of the things I told you before about some things to do while waiting for his break, were actually effective–AT FIRST, but later on, after weeks of not hearing from him, I’ve decided I have to move on. I mean not from him, but from this “Kaydet Girl” Phase of my life when all I only think about was him, and his Cadetship.

This role I’ve been in during the past couple of years was actually fading. It was time to say goodbye. Right at the moment, during his graduation, he turned into a Lieutenant, yes a LIEUTENANT–not a Cadet, anymore. So this was actually a great transition of our relationship. Hindi na lang ito pa-tweetums. I have to take it seriously. I have to move on, too. Kasi siya nag-move na rin siya from being a Cadet.

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I know he was fine. He was doing okay, because he knows when he gets home, I will be there waiting for him. But things changed when I actually decided to try my luck overseas. At the early stages of my application, it was when he cannot use phones because of poor cellular site, and he was actually on endless military ops, so he wasn’t informed about it.

Then came a letter from Japan, I was actually chosen to be a part of a 4-5 year-scholarship program and I was asked to leave a couple of months on the date of approval. I was torn between pursuing my dream of becoming an experienced Nurse and my dream of marrying the love of my life. It was a dilemma. But after careful thought, of course, I was 21 years old. We were still young to get married, you know what I chose.

At first he was a bit excited for me because it’s his dream to visit this Anime Country someday, but later on he realized, how can he continue life without me? He actually said, “Sino na lang kasama ko? Sinong uuwian ko? Parang mawawalan ako ng kalahati ng pagkatao ko ‘pag umalis ka.”  I actually don’t know how to answer him. But I know, love will see us through. God will help us, I have faith in us.

The first months was actually hell. I’m sorry to use that term, but actually, I was always starting a fight. Haha. I’m super childish. He was busy being a PL, and there I was seeking for attention. But we’ve come passed it.

Then came the season of loneliness. This was the time he actually got depressed about my absence. It started when he went home from Mindanao and I wasn’t home to welcome him or be with him during his R&R. He was down in the dumps. He actually doesn’t want to go home anymore and want to forget he has R&R rights.

He was in a blue spell.

Then a message from God came and brought him back to sunshine! He actually bought a Doberman puppy and we named him, Aiki. Ai (愛)means love in Japanese, and Ki(気) means heart/spirit/mind. We just love him.

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I haven’t seen Aiki since his Dad brought him home, but actually, if God permits, I could see him in flesh next year. I’m excited to see him!

Hi Guys! This is Aiki and his Dad, holding him. Hehe Isn’t he adorable? =)

So how did my Soldier BF got over his loneliness after I went abroad to work? HE BOUGHT  A DOG. =))

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10+ Things to Do While Waiting for His R&R

I know even the minute you bid goodbye, you already start to miss him, right? I can say, “been there, done that,” but then again, even if we’ve been together for quite some time, time and time again, it pains me when he’s gone.  I know how you feel, because right at this moment, I’m feeling it, too.

“But girl, everything will be all right, alright?” This is what I could only tell myself, right now, and I could may be say to you. Everything is going to turn out well.

Let me tell you a little story, this happened when I graduated from College and he was still inside the Academy, that I think, he was a Cow, back then. Those times, I know I have to find a job because after all, (in God’s love and providence,) I’ve passed the board exam, and I was only waiting for my license number which will be issued by PRC. But then, to tell you frankly, I never chose to look for a job or to have a committed work-related stuff back then because I was afraid I might miss something from his Cadet “Milestone.” Gladly, I have loving parents who didn’t require me to look for a job or to give back as early as that time, they only told me to do whatever I want this time (because I think they were relieved that the “future” is mine after passing the NLE, and after all, I was only 20 years old that time). My parents were very supportive, so I never looked for a job after College, I just “enjoyed” or I think the better term is “rested,” after of course the grueling review for the exam.

While waiting for his R&R, I am as hopeless as a person who wants snowflakes in Summer. I just hang in there, waiting for his break, of course my parents know Sancho as early as that time, and they treated him as their own child, they were very supportive of us. (Sobrang tiwala, and kita niyo naman ngayon ang results ng pagtitiwala ng both sides ng parents namin, kami pa rin, at sa Awa at Tulong ng Diyos, hindi naman kami pumalya. Hehe)

Here are the things { I did, I am doing, and I think I will continue to do } whenever I miss him during his deployment.

1. CULTIVATE A NEW HOBBY

TBH, I’ve had a lot of “new” hobbies, name it: collected and tried to take care of plants (but after a week I’ve gotten lazy, so my Dad continued watering them and they withered after a couple of months hehe): took care of a dog (my Mom continued taking care of Britney~my Pekingese Dog, until she died after mounted by an AsKal, this is a true story, I will talk about this in a different entry post); I’ve tried ARTS! You know, crayons, paints and stuff on a canvass, after a few days, I got lazy again, you know what happened next.

I can talk for a day or two for the things I’ve done to help me cope with my loneliness because he was away. You might think I am overacting, but honestly, that time I was only 20 years old. Some hopeless romantic kid who just found out about love, so yeah, call me crazy. Hehe

So the point here is, do something new. Promise, it will alleviate your loneliness.

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2. LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

The first language I’ve self-learned was Finnish. (Nauso kasi ‘yun dati sa Baguio e.) Then later, of course, Japanese. Try to learn a new language, it will be so dramatic if you say I love you in different languages, right? Or try to learn new dialects from our very own country, like for me, I speak Pangasinan and Ilocano fluently, and I am currently learning how to speak in Cebuano, because Sancho was assigned to a Cebuano-speaking area and actually he could already speak fluently that sometimes he doesn’t notice he’s talking to me in Cebuano. (Lagi niya ako Binibisaya nang hindi niya napapansin, gusto ko rin matuto para makasagot ako sakaniya hehe.)

3. ENROLL IN A SHORT COURSE

That first assignment he took right after his graduation was one of the deepest dents in our relationship. But I took it head on, and came out alive and somewhat productive. As he was busy applying his military prowess in the field, I, too, was applying my baking prowess.  LOL I enrolled in Baking Class for about a month or so. At first it was just for fun, or something to keep me busy, then it dawned on me, I was actually enjoying every single minute I spent inside the Baking Lab. I just lab it. LOL

Learn something new, promise it will be worth it, want to know why? Because when Sancho learned I was good at baking, everytime he comes home from deployment, we bake and cook together. It’s actually kind of fun! Next time, I’ll be enrolling in Culinary, promise!

4. VOLUNTEER

There are a lot of weekend activities you could do in your own community, it will really help you expand your horizon or grow your network.

When Sancho was busy during his first assignment after his graduation, I was left with no choice but to actually face reality of finding my own career path. I’ve volunteered to a provincial hospital and signed up for a Dialysis Program/Training–which I think I got from his brother, because his brother is a Dialysis Nurse. After the training, I went back to Baguio and thought of signing up for PMA Station Hospital’s Nurse Residency Program. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was actually that Nurse who took care of Cadets and Soldiers for almost a year inside the Academy! I will share some stories about my experience  in a different post.

5. TRAVEL

The first area I’ve ever been to without him was in Aklan, yes in Boracay. We also went to Iloilo to eat Bachoy with my Family. Believe me, it will give you stories to share when you’re already back in each others’ arms.

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6. PLAN YOUR NEXT TRIP TOGETHER

I’ve always wanted to go to Tagaytay! Haha I never had the chance to go back there as and Adult. LOL I’ve studied Language in the Metro for almost a year but then again, I never had that single chance of going there. Oh wait, I have. It was when he got back from Schooling and then I tried to lure him into going there but when it was time to leave (at 0300H) he actually asked if we could do it some other time, and went back to sleep. Poor baby!

So plan your next trip and actually implement it. hehe

7. MAKE YOUR BUCKET LIST

Believe it or not, I started to make a list of our “Relationship Goals” when we were only days old. Haha I will actually take a photo of it if the notebook was with me, but it is in Sancho’s keeping. I wrote there stuff like, go on a Movie Date, Dance in the rain, Travel together etc etc etc… Be specific!

8. DATE YOUR PARENTS

After College, I told you I didn’t for once look for a job, so I had the luxury of time to be with my parents as in ALL THE TIME for more than a year. We had coffee 3x a day in our house, we went for road trips together, we saw some movies together, and we went to new places. Thank God I had the chance to be with them esp my Dad.

9. MAKE YOUR OWN SCRAPBOOK

I always wanted to make our very own scrapbook, pero laging hindi natutuloy. Print your important photos and make some scribbles or do some arts! I think it’s fun!

10. MOSAIC YOUR PHOTOS

I want mosaic of our photos together. Pero I want puzzle pieces para may twist. I just don’t know how to do this, yet. But, I think, when I’ll get time, I can actully look for a suitable app and put my hands on it. Try it, too!

11. MAKE AVP OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP MILESTONES

When we get married, I want to show a audio-video presentation of how our relationship started. It might cost me lengthy hours of doing it, but I think it will be worth it. Make yours, too, and show him when he gets home!

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Waiting for his R&R is actually boring. Hehe But then again, if you look on a brighter side, you will realize it’s actually quality time for yourself and for your family to bond or to do new things. Keep yourself busy with things to do, and later on, just before you know it, he will be there right at your doorsteep looking for you. Go girl!

***THE LIST GOES ON! Comment or message me so we can input your thoughts! I love to hear from you! What do you do during his Deployment aside from work? 🙂

Above photo taken from Naoshima Island with Sancho. Sorry for our sun-kissed feet! LOL

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ONLY GIRL PROBLEM & 10+ Wedding Prep Blues

So based on my posted article LF: Wedding Prep Tips, I was asking my readers if they have suggestions/tips regarding wedding preparation for a military-civis wedding happening in Baguio City, specifically at PMA Lopez Hall.

Wala akong idea regarding weddings, because first of all, I do not have sisters, only 4 brothers and a baby brother who is now 25 years old (I have 5 Siblings, imagine, wala man lang naging babae sa kanila ‘nung pinanganak). Apparently, I’ve come from a “wrestling arena”kind of upbringing, where the only “Feminine Model”I know is my Mom, and my “Coaches” are the Barakos of our family–my Dad and my brothers. I’ve played a lot of Barbie Dolls, but I prefer playing Tamiya, Teks, and shooting pellets from play guns my brother used to play. Also, I’ve kind of gotten used to intramuscular pain on my deltoid region because my baby brother used to punch me when we were kids, kasi nga instead of paper dolls, ang nilalaro ko, wrestling, iyon kasi ang uso sa bahay namin. Believe me, kilala ko ang mga Wrestlers ng WWE. In short, wala talaga akong female role model aside from my Mom—who is also a “simple, don’t bring me crap or I’ll punch you in the face” type of a woman, I guess, naging ganun na rin ako hahaha. Pero kidding aside, my Mom is very thoughtful, and very modest, pero gusto lahat pinaplano ang mga bagay, strikto, madiskarte at tough love, pero sa kabila nun sobrang mapagmahal at isa pa, conservative. Hindi lang talaga mahilig si Mama sa mga makeup and all (which is somehow, kabaliktaran sa akin kasi mahilig ako sa makeup).

So to cut the story short, ang hirap mag-prepare ng isang kasalan kapag wala ka man lang idea. Siguro ang naging mentor ko na lang buong buhay ko ay sina Google at Youtube lol. Kapag may hindi alam, Google na agad iyan. Sa Youtube nga lang ako natutong maglagay ng foundation e at maglagay ng paborito ng mga babaeng, KILAY. Haha Kilay is life!

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Of course, may mga gusto pa rin akong details regarding sa Kasal ko, kapag ikakasal na kami ni Sancho. Ewan ko lang kung mag-aagree kayo, pero somehow, I want to know your thoughts regarding these stuff para naman may mag-advise saakin, hindi lang puro google and youtube.

Wedding “Stuff” I want:

1. Simple and Solemn

Proud Iglesia Ni Cristo kami ni Sancho, and of course belonging to the Church of Christ, gusto naming i-keep ang solemnidad ng Kasal namin kasi sagrado iyon at sobrang napaka-halagang okasyon.

2. Low Cost

Oo matagal na kami, at kapag ikakasal na kami, 9 years na kami nun, kahit sabihin mong may naitatabi na kami, ayaw naman naming i-gastos lahat ng life savings namin sa isang araw–araw na kakasimula pa lang namin sa Buhay May Asawa. ‘Di ba? Don’t get me wrong when I say “low cost” I don’t mean to say na tipirin ko iyong kasal namin, ang gusto ko, detalyado pa rin, desente, pero nasa reasonable price. Guys, maganda na maging practical, pangarap ko pang magka-Sancho Jr. hehe

3. Hand-written Invites

Yes, sulat-kamay. Medyo maka-luma, pero para saakin, classic. Kita niyo iyong logo ng PMG? Sulat-kamay lang iyon, pero digitalized. Lol. Anong naisip niyo, iyong isa-isa akong magsusulat? Hehe pwede rin naman, kaso baka magkaroon naman ng sandamakmak na kalyo ang kama ko niyan. Haha

Maganda bang idea ang hand-written invites? Alam niyo iyong pangarap ko, isang page lang andun na lahat ng detalye. Walang mga ribbon, glitters, kahoy, butones, shining shimmering splendid or whatnots. Gusto ko simple lang talaga, hahaha boyish ba masyado? Lol (Wala naman akong masasabi sa mga gumagamit ng mga mabonggang invites na may glitters or ribbon ha, maganda nga iyon kasi pinaghandaan talaga nila, pero kung sa mismong kasal ko, since ako lang ang gagawa ng invites ko and wala akong alam sa arts gaano, gusto ko iyong kayang-kaya ko lang gawin, and pasok sa bet kong style, kumbaga)

4. DIY Souvenir

May idea na ako sa giveaways/wedding favors, naisip ko parang loot bags na lang, ISA PA, ayoko ng may mukha namin ni Sancho sa Souvenir. Gusto ko iyong dispensable na bagay, iyong nagagamit/nakakain at hindi lang naitatabi sa aparador. Walang memorabilia sa wedding? Ok lang iyon, material na bagay lang naman iyon, basta kasama ka namin sa wedding photos, ok na ok na iyon pantago ng memories, ‘diba?

5. Wedding Hashtag

Guys alam niyo ba talaga ang gamit ng hashtags? #hashtag iyong ganito, para sa mga batang nagbabasa, iyong hindi talaga alam ang gamit (kasi ako rin noon di ko alam ito), ang hashtag ay ginagamit para ma-narrow ang search mo pagdating sa isang topic. For example, gusto mong maghanap ng rustic wedding ideas, so i-type mo sa search button #rusticwedding lahat ng mga rustic wedding photos and posts makikita mo na. So based dito sa idea na ito, kapag ginamit mo ang hashtag (na dapat specific para specific din ang search), makikita mo lahat ng posts and photos sa kasal niyo. Example, #Sancho&Kim2018 #SanchoNaSiKim mga ganitong hashtag ba, hehe, gusto kong mag-incorporate niyan sa kasal ko para kita ko agad mga photos from my wedding.

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6. Photo Booth

Mahilig ako sa litrato. Mahilig akong kumuha ng litrato, at mahilig akong tumingin ng litrato (mana sa Tatay hehe). Gusto kong makita lahat ng mga taong nandoon sa Kasal ko na nag-eenjoy and doing crazy stuff, siyempre lalabas lang iyan ‘pag naglagay ka ng photo booth. Pero, wala akong idea how much they charge you when you want to hire photo booth services for occasions such as weddings. May idea po ba kayo? Please share naman po saakin. Hehe

7. Flowers and Balloons?

Nasabi ko sa past post ko na 80k ang services ng Florist. Guys, bulaklak lang ito, pero bakit ganito na lang ka-mahal? Actually, kung magaling lang ako sa Ikebana, ako na talaga ang gagawa. Gusto ko lang ng decent boquet, (TBH, wala akong favorite flower, wala akong idea sa bulaklak), at konting mga style lang diyan, buga na iyan. Pero to spend your 80k pesos for flower arrangement, ‘di yata papasa iyon sa pagiging spendthrift ko. Why not incorporate balloons na lang, para hindi solely flowers? Or paper flowers iyong iba? Then mga drapes na Kurtinang ordinaryo lang? Para hindi ganoon ka-mahal? Ano sa palagay niyo?

8. Chairs?

There are regular monobloc chairs, and so-called “Tiffany” chairs, hmmmm… What are your thoughts on this?

9. Wedding Theme

I have no idea! Grabe wala akong alam sa theme theme na iyan. Ano ba iyong maganda? Gusto ko classic lang talaga, simple pero elegante, iyong hindi mabongga. Please turuan niyo ako, ano pa ba ang ibang theme na pwede sa isang military wedding?

10. Pre-Nup Theme

Guys, may theme din ba ang Pre-Nup? Ano naman iyon? E ang gusto lang namin ni Sancho sa PMA magpakuha ng litrato para ‘di na kami lalayo. May mga kelangan pa bang style iyon? Like mga isusuot ganyan? Alam niyo naiisip ko pa lang, sumasakit na iyong ulo ko. I really need your help.

11. Wedding Coordinator

On The Day Wedding Coordinator pumapalo siya ng 25k pesos. Kelangan ko pa ba nito?

12. Wedding Gown

May idea ba kayo kung saan pwedeng bumili? Gusto ko iyong mapapasaakin after, pero sa reasonable price. Hehe Narinig ko meron sa Divi, saan doon? Anong shop?

13. Cake Topper

Iyong Military Man and Nurse na Cake Topper, meron akong nakita dati, pero ‘di ko alam saan iyon nabili e. May alam ba kayo?

14. PMA Band

Na-try niyo na po bang mag-attend ng Kasal sa PMA na merong PMA Band? Pwede niyo ba silang tanungin kung sakali, paano iyong protocol to ask them to perform?

15. PMA Cadets for Draw Sword

E ito? Please tell me!

16. PMA Lopez Hall

How early do we need to ask for permission, and paano? Kanino?

17. Caterer

Ano ba ang price range ng mga Caterers ngayon? Parang naririnig ko 500pesos daw per head ang pinakamura ngayon, ganun na lang ba ka-mahal? Hehe

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18. Sounds and Lighting System

Pwede ba kayang humiram sa PMA? Or hahanap kami sa ibang supplier or contact?

19. Requirements from Munisipyo

Cenomar and Birth Certificate namin, then ano pa ba?

*****

Gosh!! Super hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. First of all, ano ba dapat kong simulan? Sa sobrang dami kong ginagawa sa present life ko, at kahit way too far pa iyong wedding date namin, dahil nga OC ako,  as early as possible, gusto ko nang maghanda. I live by goals, gusto ko na matapos lahat ng ‘to or else hindi ako makaka-move on sa bagong goals or bagong idea sa utak ko. Hehe sobrang ADHD lang, please, kung sino pong may mga idea, this time, I want your answers!! I will be waiting patiently for your messages. I know you will be very glad to help me. I’m so excited to read your comments/personal messages! Thank you in advance!

Above photos from Helena Lopes via pezels.com

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LF: Wedding Prep Tips

Desperately Looking For: Wedding Preparation Tips

I’m so happy to share with you that a year from now, I am going to marry the love of my life! I know you all know about it because I’ve posted an article about how he proposed, and until now, I can’t imagine na ito na nga, matutuloy na talaga. Ikakasal na kami ni Sancho! Yipeee…

I know it’s kind of early to really go deep into details, pero, alam niyo naman OC ako, so I’ve tried asking people/wedding suppliers about their price or packages, and sobrang nagulat ako kasi parang dolyar!! Oh no. Reality check: ang mahal magpakasal sa Pilipinas.

Biruin niyo iyon, sa flowers pa lang, it will cost you 60-80k PhP. Flowers pa lang iyan ha wala pang mga theme and all… Video coverage naman, almost a hundred thousand kapag gusto mo talaga iyong magandang klase from pre-nup and all.

At dahil dito, gusto ko mag-ask lalo na sa mga readers nating ikinasal na or may idea about weddings, ano po ba iyong mga dapat i-ready o paghandaan.

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A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Si Sancho ay Phil Army, ako naman ay Civis and Proud INC po kami. Ang alam ko magkakaroon pa ng BI or Background Inspection ang Military saakin dahil nga ako ay isang civilian at mag-aasawa ako ng isang Sundalo, tama po ba iyon? At siyempre, iba pa iyong mga requirements namin sa Church at sa Munisipyo. Actually wala talaga akong alam, kung saan magsisimula.

Sa mga nakakaalam, pwede niyo po ba akong tulungan? Tips naman po para mas mapadali ang paghahanda namin.

Ang gusto sana naming Venue sa PMA Lopez Hall of Leaders para doon mismo kung saan nagsimula ang lahat… Paano po ba? At paano rin ba kapag mag-ask ng Draw Sword from Cadets? Caterers? PMA Band? Wedding Themes? Wala po akong alam. Hehe This time, I want to ask for your suggestions, and kung may mga idea kayo pwede niyo bang i-share din dito via comments or personal message? Please po!! Super makakatulong talaga!

Looking forward to reading your comments!! Thanks in advance!

Above photo from Ibrahim Asad via pexels.com

FMI: Read Related Article: ONLY GIRL PROBLEM & 10+Wedding Prep Blues

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7 Reasons Finding “The One” Early in Life Will Help You Become More Successful

“…and then I met you.”

In love, they say, don’t rush, or you’re still too young to be in a relationship; but what if the universe conspired to let you meet the love of your life, before you even know which career path you will take? I say that’s totally fine, why? Because there are a lot of reasons why finding the right person early in life could help you become even more successful; and here’s a few:

YOU MATURE TOGETHER

Accept it or not, people mature with their age. You will not have any amount of wisdom there is in the world as long as you won’t take a year after year of failures. Hence, when you experience growing up or maturing with the same person, nothing else will give you the assurance that the person is really worth keeping.

YOU BUILD YOUR DREAMS TOGETHER

Coming together is a BEGINNING.
Keeping together is PROGRESS.
Working together is SUCCESS.

As you take every milestone towards your goals, hand in hand, you take each step needed to get you wherever life may take you. You started as lost kids who tried to find their place in the world, and later on, you figured out which path to take. But what’s more amazing was you started to build your dreams together.

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YOU EXPERIENCE FAILURE TOGETHER

Seeing someone in the lowest place they could possibly be, and still choosing to love them anyway, is nothing but unconditional love. Nothing comes easy in life which is worth keeping. It has to be tested with time and adversities. But when you surpassed each hurdle that blocks your way, still with the same person, is uncustomary. Being together during the highs is given, but staying together during the lows is exceptional.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS YOU LIKE THEY DO

With you… I feel safe and sound.

Sometimes, when you cannot decipher which path to take, or worse is when you can’t even understand yourself anymore, the only person who could only put you back to your sanity is no one but your mate. For having seen you during your bests and your worsts, they know to calm you during an uproar.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS THEM LIKE YOU DO

Everybody has their own tranquility inside, but when complicated situation happens, you know that the only person they need is you. Why? Because you know how to bring them back to daylight when they lose their way. You know, because you know their heart.

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YOU SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES

Nobody else’s side will you ever wish to be, but right by the side of your significant other, especially during your success. For helping you fight the battles life continues to give; for giving you strength when you are weak; for giving you enough guidance when you lose your way; and for constantly receiving push when you lose determination, you just want to be by their side when finally, what you dreamed of was finally realised.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, YOU HAVE EACH OTHER

Wherever life takes you, no matter how many roads you choose to take, and no matter how many mistakes you put through, there will always be that assurance that there’s someone waiting for you at the end of the road—with or without the bacon.

“Forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.”

Above photo from our readers Miss Sai & Sir Kim during their prenup. <3

Read Related Articles:

“God’s Time is Always Perfect”-  from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

Love Letter from A Cadet from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

 

 

 

 

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Love Letter From A Cadet

This article is from a contribution of our reader, Mrs. Sai Nalang.

Message from Ms Sai to PMG: You might want to add this. Naghukay tuloy ako sa box namin. Everytime he writes me a letter, he never forgets to remind me that we have a wedding to attend after his graduation. Haha”

This letter is what her husband wrote her when he was still in PMA as a Graduating Cadet. Super Kilig!!! Read on!

***

23 2000H JUNE 2010

Love Love,

Happy 8th Monthsary. I love you so much . Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine here at the Academy, yun nga lang I’m missing you so much. Wala ng CP kasi mahigpit na dito. Take life na lang ako kung mag-CP but hindi pa rin tayo (pwedeng) dalawa sa pakikipagcommunicate. Kaya nga may ballpen at papel hehe Mahal!!! Could you believe it? 8 months na tayo. I love and miss miss miss you. Kaya dadaliin ko na ang pag-graduate dito para makasama na kita agad. All you have  to do is to take care of yourself. Remember, we have a wedding to attend to, which is our wedding, ok? hehe (Properly ha) Concentrate on your studies, hmmmp, iwas sa mga surot!!! Ha? I love you so much!

PS Wag pabasa ka Shane, magrereact like hell.

Your Love Love

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****

Read Related Article: “God’s Time is Always Perfect- Sai N.”

PMG Notes: Guys, gusto kong magreact like hell sa sobrang kilig, hehe buti na lang hindi ako si Shane. Lol Grabe lang talaga. It was June of 2010, anong ginagawa niyo nung mga panahong iyon? Ako, ilang months pa lang niyan nung nakilala ko si Sancho at wala akong idea where it will lead, pero si Kim&Sai, they all have their lives figured out, as early as 2010, while everyone’s not having any clue even on what to get for lunch on that day. This is so amazing. This is so beautiful not to share to the world.

Again, thank you Sir Kim and Ms Sai for entrusting your delicate stories to PMG.  <3 Super love love.

Above phot via Lum3n.com

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Caps Lock CIL: The Unrequited Love

“Cupid sometimes runs out of arrows and only shoots one person instead of two.”

Once in our life, we experience loving someone without the knowledge of the person. We know how stupid the idea is, but we cannot help but choosing loving from a distance, because, at least, from there, we could express our feelings. Here is one good epitome of someone who chose to love from afar, and hoped, at least for once, that her love will be reciprocated.

(This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2013. Original title: “CAPS LOCK”)

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Caps Lock

by Nuela Gracia F. Posadas

As we drive along the zigzag mud, I prayed to God
to keep this off my chest. I guessed He did, at least for a while.
Maybe I am unconsciously drawn to your world.
Maybe I do too, at the very rarest of times.
I believe that I belong to you as immediate family.
And this feeling attacks when I least expect it
When I am not in my best dress, When I did not get to shower,
and when I did not have the COURAGE to tell you.
And so I go on with my routine in life
smiling when not supposed to, running countless miles
to maintain my Superman strength disguised by my stick thin body,
juggling everything is served before me,
carrying that INTEGRITY you were always preaching excessively.
I become too preoccupied to even think about it, or perhaps about myself.
And yes, one day at a time, I go on with my random life;
lazing around in the mornings, skipping meals,
sleeping until my head hurts, and thinking about you until my heart breaks.
Yes, I think about you. I think about you all the time.
I sustain my LOYALTY to you even if I don’t have to,
even if there seems to be no apparent reason.
You, instead, go on with your life unaware of the single soul
wide awake on your lower bunk,
writing this note for the source of her unreciprocated love.
You go on…
You go on without the slightest idea.

***

“At least even for a little while, I was the reason behind your smile.”

Above Photo via picjumbo.com

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