6 Challenges Military Wives Experience

Hello again! This time, we will talk about challenges that Military Wives experience. So after ng Cadetship niya, siyempre ma-deploy na sila, and later on, magiging mag-asawa na rin kayo, susulong na rin kayo sa buhay pag-aasawa.

Medyo tough ang topic na ito, so brace yourselves. Hehe

For sure, marami ring readers ng PMG na mga military wives. Question: Mahirap po bang maging Asawa ng Sundalo?

Medyo hindi ako makasagot ng tama sa tanong ng reader natin na iyan, kasi personally, hindi pa kami kinakasal hehehe. Hindi pa ako formally “Military Wife” so if you are reading this, and kung military wife po kayo, please enlighten us.

But first, here are the things na natanong ko sa mga girl friends kong married sa mga sundalo… and if you are a Military girlfriend tulad ko, malamang magandang tip na malaman na natin ‘to ngayon pa lang.

#1 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

When you’re living in another state or country, though, you cannot share these activities with the person you love. You can’t gaze into one another’s eyes and enjoy the pleasures of physical contact, or even share the simple joy of one another’s presence. And depending on the situation, you may not know if or when you’ll be able to see each other again. (from keepinspiringme.com)

A lot of us, especially iyong mga OFW katulad ko, nahihirapan sa communication lalo na kapag walang internet sa bundok o sa field. Sobrang nag-struggle ako sa pagka-miss ko sa kaniya nung bagong salta lang ako sa ibang bansa. Pero isipin mo, hindi na lang ikaw girlfriend, kundi ASAWA ka na niya. Your life and his life ay iisa na. Imagine mo iyan, mapapahiwalay kayo sa isa’t isa kasi nga siyempre sa duty, at sa deployment niya, karaniwan, sobrang layo pa ng assignment niya.

Mahirap minsan tumayo sa isang relationship na pakiramdam mo nag-iisa ka lang. Hehe alam ko iyong ganitong feeling kasi napagdaananan ko na ito noon, hindi ka sigurado kung kayo pa ba, kasi sa tagal na niya sa operation, halos mag-3months noon nung hindi siya nakapag-message sa akin, hindi ko talaga alam kung kami pa ba. Ang hirap lang.

Tapos, ang daming challenges sa buhay mo, tapos wala siya. Parang ang hirap magpakatatag minsan para sa sarili mo, pero ok lang iyon ha, kasi gustung-gusto naman talaga nilang umuwi, hindi lang talaga pwede o agad-agad.

#2 TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS

Siyempre, a big part of building your own family is having kids. Kadalasan, kasama mo ang asawa mo magpalaki ng mga anak niyo, lalo na iyong first time Mom, sabi ng isang friend ko, nahihirapan daw siya kasi sa kaniya lahat ng puyat and all.. Tapos hindi niya alam kung paano o ano ang gagawin kung magkakasakit ang anak, dahil nag-iisa lang siya. Maswerte na rin tayo kung nasa poder pa tayo ng mga magulang natin, o malapit lang sila, so that they too, can take part in rearing your kids. Para hindi sayo lahat ang work.

Iba na rin kasi talaga kapag may mga anak ng pinag-uusapan.. Sa palagay ko, medyo upgraded iyong challenges. Pasensiya na hindi ako makakapag-explain adequately sa bagay na ito kasi hindi ko pa naeexperience, hayaan niyo kapag may anak na ako, sasabihin ko sa inyo… hehe

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#3 BUDGETING and FINANCIAL MATTERS

Yes, admit it or not, kahit good-paying job ang pagiging isang sundalo, at dahil nga meron ka pang pinapalaking baby, hindi ka pa rin magkakaroon ng chance bumalik sa employment so dedepende ka pa rin sa sahod ni Mister. Mahirap iyong reality na ito kasi minsan hindi napapag-usapan, kasi ang sakit sa bangs bes. Haha Ang sakit pag-usapan iyong mga financial matters, iyong mga bagay na dapat talagang pinag-uusapan, hindi na napag-uusapan, iyong mga bagay na dapat ay DISCUSSION lang, nauuwi sa ARGUMENTS, hanggang sa may lilipad na na mga pinggan diyan lol. Pero joke lang po iyong pinggan, hahaha.

Pero sounds about right diba? Kasi iyan din ang sabi ng mga napagtanungan ko, lalo na iyong mga nagsisimula pa lang na military family.

#4 TRAVEL EXPENSES

Bes, ang sakit sa bangs ng abrupt buying of plane tickets, hehe kasi kailangan mo siyang puntahan. Na-try niyo na ba ‘to? Ang gastos ‘di ba? At nakaka-iyak kasi ang mahal ng days-before-your flight plane ticket. Pero walang magagawa kasi nga, ganito ang buhay ng military. Kung kelan ka niya kailangan, puntahan mo siya. Tungkulin mo iyon bilang military wife. Ikaw ang mag-aadjust para sa kaniya.

“ Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”– Thomas Fuller

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan nating magkita. Hehe Kahit masakit pa iyan sa bangs, we have to see each other, kahit gaano pa kalayo ang lalakbayin ko, basta makita lang kita. Ganito kasi dapat ang love, may halong sacrifice.

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#5 UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. -Lauren K. Hamilton

Alam niyo minsan iyong feeling na, kapag mag-memessage ka tapos “seen” lang niya, and kahit alam mo namang busy naman talaga siya sa trabaho or duty, siyempre masasaktan ka rin… Getting real na tayo dito, hindi na ‘to pa-tweetums ha, hehe. Siyempre may mga times na gusto natin na suyuin tayo o damayan nila tayo sa bad day natin, tapos SEEN ka lang, parang sinasabi niya e, “SORRY I’M EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.” Di ba parang ang hirap? Pero kapag naramdaman niyo iyan, i-message niyo na lang ako. Hehe Kasi minsan talaga napagdadaanan natin iyan e.

May mga bagay na na-de-deprive ang mag-asawang military, iyong time nila para sa isa’t isa esp kapag meron talagang mabigat na pinagdadaanan, tapos wala iyong asawa mo na sasandalan mo. Siyempre, mahihirapan ka talaga. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, dapat tatagan ko iyong loob ko dahil Military na ang buhay ko lalo na kapag nag-asawa na.

Remember: Military ang napili mong makakasama habang-buhay. Tapangan mo ang sarili mo. Kasi, sayo siya kukkuha ng strength.

#6 FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

“You don’t just have to die for the people you love, you have to live for them, too.”

Ito na iyong isa sa pinakamasakit tanggapin, iyong takot na mawawala siya anytime. Iniisip ko pa lang, nasasaktan na ako. hehe Pero siyempre hindi natin iyan iniisip na mangyayari, kasi hindi talaga natin alam ano na ang mangyayari sa atin, pero it’s part of what we’ve actually signed up for.

Masakit tanggapin na hindi mo alam kung ano kakahinatnan ng operation nila, kung ano ang haharapin mo kinabukasan, na kapag may tumawag sayo na unknown number, hindi mo gustong iyon na iyong tawag sayo.

Pero kahit merong possibility na ganiyan, e kumapit pa rin tayo sa Itaas. Huwag magpapaapekto, lagi lang tayong mananalangin. Ang Dios na ang bahala sa atin.

Pero, lagi mo ring sasabihin sa kaniya, na hindi lahat ng Heroes nasa Libingan ng mga Bayani, kundi (at lalung-lalo na), iyong mga Sundalong nakakauwi sa kanilang mga pamilya pagkatapos ng lahat ng unos sa field.

And remember… Gustung-gusto na rin nilang umuwi. Imagine mo itong Poem na ito, palagay ko, sobrang ganito ang feeling ng mga Soldiers, na they want to spend the “morning” with their loved ones, too.

Will There Really Be A Morning

Will there really be a morning?

Is there such thing as day?

Could I see it from the mountains?

If I were as tall as they?

Has it feet like water lilies?

Has it feathers like a bird?

Is it brought from the famous countries

of which I have never heard?

Oh, some scholar! Oh, some sailor!

Oh, some wise man from the skies!

Please to tell a little pilgrim

Where the place called morning lies!

poem by Emily Dickinson

Above photo from Wyatt Castaneda from pexels.com

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&&The list goes on…. Para sa mga Readers ng PMG na military wives, pwede niyo ba kaming i-enlighten para malaman naman naming mga girlfriend pa lang, kung ano ba talaga ang pinapasok namin? hahaha Please comment or message me kung may maidaragdag pa kayo.

Pero what if…

May paraan pa? What if meron ka pang mahanap na way para mapagaan ang buhay niyong mag-asawa? Kung full-time Mom ka and lagi kang home-based, tapos kay Mister lang naka-depende ang household finances niyo, tapos may malaman kang way para mapagaan ng konti at magkaroon ka ng financial breakthrough, gagawin mo ba? CLICK TO CONTINUE READING…

 

The Person Behind Proud Military Girl

Hello, there!

You might be reading this because you want to know who Kim is, or who owns this page/blog. Lol I’m sorry to tell you, but I think this is not the right time to reveal who owns this blog. First I made an alternate account (which I might have used to add you as my friend on Facebook because I know/I have a feeling you belong to the Military World). This alternate account I named Kim is not my real FB account, I just use it to navigate to publishing tools of FB, and Kim is not my real name. I just used this name because it was how my late Dad called my youngest sibling (I used it because I want to commemorate my late Father.)

Why PMG? I know right. Lol. First of all, I am a girlfriend of a Junior Officer who graduated from the Philippine Military Academy. Some of you might know something about me, etc. But I want to keep my real identity privately because I want to be “not biased” when I write my articles.

Someone asked me why can’t I tell my real name, “Are you hiding something?” Lol the answer is: I am not. I just want to be private kasi baka sumikat ako and mawalan ng kabuluhan lahat ng meaning ng mga sinusulat ko, maging tungkol lahat saakin, the fact is I am writing generally, ayokong maging subjective lahat ng mga articles dito when I told you who I was. I want to write things regarding military love stories, majority comes from my own thoughts, but these thoughts, I think might be useful to others who also belong to my world.

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But, Why?

Being in a military relationship (especially when we started dating, he was then a Cadet) was tough. I don’t know who to turn to. I’m not really sure my civilian friends understand completely what I tell them, and I cannot hide the fact that I’m intimidated by Senior Officers’ girlfriends because , one, they are “upperclass,” two, I might be “not interested enough” to be a part of the club. lol (my melancholic side of me, esp when I was younger!)

Later on I met people who belong to the same crowd (they aren’t scary at all haha in fact they became my closest friends), some of them pursued the military marriage, some of them drifted from the military relationship, or I say, have broken up with their then-Cadet Boyfriends, but we remained in tact.

I’ve experienced a lot of emotions from this “military girlfriend” experience from Cadetship to Deployment until First Promotion etc. With this, I have a vision to create something useful to other “beginners” who are clueless kung anong pinapasok nila. Lol. I want to tell the (younger) Ladies, (who once was me) that, it’s going to be fine, we have each other.

I know this is a journey. Military life is a journey, so while I’m here fighting the unknown battles of being the woman behind my brave Soldier, I also would want to find inspiration to those who made it, to those Upperclassmen and Upperclass Ma’am who have the reality I once dreamt of, and continue dreaming—to finally be with the one I love, not the Soldier, but the man I decided to love since Day 1. I know we are just starting with our relationship, but looking at the Seniors who are (still) happily married and might now be traveling the world or rearing their grandchildren (after their Soldier Husband’s Service to our Beloved Country has been paid—by their time, by their life) makes me feel inspired.

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This blog was made out of courage of wanting to meet new people, newbies or veterans from the “Military Relationship,” I know we are the chosen few, but I know we speak tales of courage and patriotism being chosen in this precious “field.”

PMG is not just about me, it’s about every person who belongs to the Military Relationship looking for love and belongingness they cannot find from their reach. This is not just a story, but this is a “book.” The “book” which contains rare love stories from different walks of life which happened to be coloured in camouflage.

Welcome to PMG! This is your story. It is yours. I’m giving it to you.

To those who belong to the “Ladies” rank, the Kaydet Girls, the Officers’ Girls the Officers’ Wives, the Soldier’s Girlfriends, the Soldier’s Wives, I just want you to know, that YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. We are the bravest of all the ranks they could find in the Military Service, because we are our Soldiers’ sounding board, their tough wall, their greatest dream, and their greatest success.

To our Soldiers, Kudos to all of you! We know how much you could sacrifice your life for our fellow countrymen, how much more would you sacrifice for us? We love you so much, more than you’ll ever know, more than you could ever imagine. If only one statement could be used to summarize what we really wanted in life, it would be this statement: “I want to hold your hand when we’re 80, and say we made it.”

***This page is owned by a private individual. Any views or opinion regarding the Philippine Military Academy, Armmed Forces of the Philippines, or the Philippine Soldiers are own judgment of the writer. This page does not represent any entity or institution named above, unless otherwise stated.***

 

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7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple.

Since Day 1, he has been very “extra protective” of me because he knows how naive I am, how impulsive I am to making harsh decisions, and how I easily slip things on my hands, unintentionally.

So through time, I’ve learned these things from him, important values I think I could share to you, and I hope it will help you, too.

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Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

NEVER VOLUNTEER INFORMATION

He is a Soldier, as much as I’d like to deny this fact, we will be having “extra special” kind of family in the future, where “extra” means we have to be very vigilant and careful because, bad guys do exist. If you know where I’m getting into, you know how important this really is. So I cannot barge around meeting new people and tell them my boyfriend is a Soldier, and he is currently assigned to this and that, etc, etc, our home address, where his parents’ home is, etc etc. FACT: I actually don’t carry any military-related stuff, his photo wearing his rank, or PMA souvenir, takot ko lang. Civis lang lagi dapat ang peg.

NEVER TELL PEOPLE YOUR WHEREABOUTS

First clue: He deactivated navi tools in our devices; and when I’m with him, we tend to keep ourselves being tracked by the social media, and stuff. I know sometimes it’s kind of overacting because who cares where we are after all, right? We are not celebrities, or VIPs, but he explained to me that he is a government property; he is a walking hot stuff with “barcode” ready to be snatched by some dude trying to ruin the democracy or so. LOL. Kidding aside, I should really give this some serious consideration, because I know he has Serial Number, and he is more important as I think he is, especially to the government.

So yeah, majority of our photos are “throwback” or “days ago” photos, and I’ve gotten used to it.

Read More: Military Relationship Facts

MASTER SELF-PRESERVATION

“No matter where you are, always be at peace with everybody. Don’t take sides, be neutral. Don’t open your mouth if you have any opinion about someone’s life, it’s not your business. Behave properly.” These are just his common precautions which he reminds me on a regular basis.

You know, I’m an INTJ type of person,  so I tend to be analytical all the time.

INTJ PERSONALITY: Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas. ~MBTI

(Take the “MBTI” Test to find out which personality type you belong, and share your results, I want to know!)

I tend to be critical about things, and I don’t settle for less. This is my then-personality and it has mellowed down as my BF tamed me through the years.

DO NOT OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you will only say bad stuff or suggestive comments to people who are not your people, haha MAPAPAAWAY KA LANG. Yes, I’ve learned a lot from this.

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ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

When we go to a totally new place, esp buildings for that matter, I always find him looking for the “EMERGENCY EXIT.” He is very vigilant this way. Later on in life, I realized I’m becoming him. You know, we are a typical LDR couple so majority of my time I spend alone, and these “life skills” of his tend to creep through my veins before my own eyes. Haha I was actually taking serious precautions that my co-workers find me a little bit weird already. Haha

Read More: How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

SAFETY FIRST

Yes, whatever happens, choose the greater good for a greater number. hehe Basic Life Support 101. Kidding aside, you have to really prioritze safety. It’s better safe than sorry, sabi nga nila.

SAVE

I’m the type of person before who loves to YOLO. I spend my hard-earned money to unnecessary things, buying stuff I actully don’t need. Here comes Sancho, a spendthrift person, who saves and invests regularly. Even before he graduates from the Academy, he has already estbalished this habit, which now, I am currently applying because of his influence. LOL Remember this: save now, and it will save you in the future.

“The simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”

LOVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Actually, this might sound a little bit funny, or “not-so-serious” item on the list, but hey! It’s actually vital. I was reading last month, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I was actually planning to re-read it again, and on the early pages, I remember, author Stephen Covey explains that in order to “produce” you have to actually invest on the “production capability” or the P/PC Balance Principle.

Aesop’s fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg TM

This fable is the story of a poor farmer who one day discovers in the nest of his pet goose a glittering golden egg. At first, he thinks it must be some kind of trick. But as he starts to throw the egg aside, he has second thoughts and takes it in to be appraised instead. The egg is pure gold! The farmer can’t believe his good fortune. He becomes even more incredulous the following day when the experience is repeated. Day after day, he awakens to rush to the nest and find another golden egg. He becomes fabulously wealthy; it all seems too good to be true.

But with his increasing wealth comes greed and impatience. Unable to wait day after day for the golden eggs, the farmer decides he will kill the goose and get them all at once. But when he opens the goose, he finds it empty. There are no golden eggs — and now there is no way to get any more. The farmer has destroyed the goose that produced them.

But as the story shows, true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

source: EFECTIVENESS DEFINED by Stephen R. Covey

Sancho always tells me this, “My, katawan lang natin ang puhunan natin sa trabaho, kaya dapat alagaan natin ang sarili natin.” He always reminds me to take my vitamins regularly, sleep early, stay warm, eat healthy, exercise reguarly and stuff, and actually he reminds me to update my “work stuff” regularly, especially my shoes or work clothes, because these things are the ones which I use everyday during work, so it has to be extra durable and could actually prevent incidents of injury, ie the shoes/car/ride that we use everyday. You know.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Yes, I know sometimes we’re kind of over doing stuff, but actually if you come to think of it, we should really be extra careful because we are inside the Military. We are not just civilians who snap around trying to challenge freedom; we are a part of the organization who actually maintain and uphold the peace and order for others to actually enjoy their “freedom,” and by this, we should at least, try not contribute to the problem, and do our best to at least help our MIU uphold their ideals by being vigilant in our own little ways.

Notes: Sancho is a Junior Officer of the Philippine Army, I, on the other hand is an ordinary girl from an ordinary family, trying to love an extraordinary man 🙂

Military Relationship is tough, but if you belong to us, like the PAGE for more “extraordinary” articles to read. See you soon! ~KimSancho

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The list goes on! What life hacks have you learned from your Soldier? Tell us your stories by commenting on this article.

Above photo from Lukasvia pexels.com

Read More:  9Reasons Being A Military Spouse is the Toughest Job in the Military

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How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

Actually, if I could go right into the gist of it, I could finish this post using a few words. LOL But of course, I won’t spoil it.

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated.

I’ve tried doing stuff to keep me busy or to keep me from thinking about him, if he was doing okay, if he was eating well, and most especially, if he was safe. TBH, it made me a little crazy and paranoid. Some of the things I told you before about some things to do while waiting for his break, were actually effective–AT FIRST, but later on, after weeks of not hearing from him, I’ve decided I have to move on. I mean not from him, but from this “Kaydet Girl” Phase of my life when all I only think about was him, and his Cadetship.

This role I’ve been in during the past couple of years was actually fading. It was time to say goodbye. Right at the moment, during his graduation, he turned into a Lieutenant, yes a LIEUTENANT–not a Cadet, anymore. So this was actually a great transition of our relationship. Hindi na lang ito pa-tweetums. I have to take it seriously. I have to move on, too. Kasi siya nag-move na rin siya from being a Cadet.

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I know he was fine. He was doing okay, because he knows when he gets home, I will be there waiting for him. But things changed when I actually decided to try my luck overseas. At the early stages of my application, it was when he cannot use phones because of poor cellular site, and he was actually on endless military ops, so he wasn’t informed about it.

Then came a letter from Japan, I was actually chosen to be a part of a 4-5 year-scholarship program and I was asked to leave a couple of months on the date of approval. I was torn between pursuing my dream of becoming an experienced Nurse and my dream of marrying the love of my life. It was a dilemma. But after careful thought, of course, I was 21 years old. We were still young to get married, you know what I chose.

At first he was a bit excited for me because it’s his dream to visit this Anime Country someday, but later on he realized, how can he continue life without me? He actually said, “Sino na lang kasama ko? Sinong uuwian ko? Parang mawawalan ako ng kalahati ng pagkatao ko ‘pag umalis ka.”  I actually don’t know how to answer him. But I know, love will see us through. God will help us, I have faith in us.

The first months was actually hell. I’m sorry to use that term, but actually, I was always starting a fight. Haha. I’m super childish. He was busy being a PL, and there I was seeking for attention. But we’ve come passed it.

Then came the season of loneliness. This was the time he actually got depressed about my absence. It started when he went home from Mindanao and I wasn’t home to welcome him or be with him during his R&R. He was down in the dumps. He actually doesn’t want to go home anymore and want to forget he has R&R rights.

He was in a blue spell.

Then a message from God came and brought him back to sunshine! He actually bought a Doberman puppy and we named him, Aiki. Ai (愛)means love in Japanese, and Ki(気) means heart/spirit/mind. We just love him.

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I haven’t seen Aiki since his Dad brought him home, but actually, if God permits, I could see him in flesh next year. I’m excited to see him!

Hi Guys! This is Aiki and his Dad, holding him. Hehe Isn’t he adorable? =)

So how did my Soldier BF got over his loneliness after I went abroad to work? HE BOUGHT  A DOG. =))

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10+ Things to Do While Waiting for His R&R

I know even the minute you bid goodbye, you already start to miss him, right? I can say, “been there, done that,” but then again, even if we’ve been together for quite some time, time and time again, it pains me when he’s gone.  I know how you feel, because right at this moment, I’m feeling it, too.

“But girl, everything will be all right, alright?” This is what I could only tell myself, right now, and I could may be say to you. Everything is going to turn out well.

Let me tell you a little story, this happened when I graduated from College and he was still inside the Academy, that I think, he was a Cow, back then. Those times, I know I have to find a job because after all, (in God’s love and providence,) I’ve passed the board exam, and I was only waiting for my license number which will be issued by PRC. But then, to tell you frankly, I never chose to look for a job or to have a committed work-related stuff back then because I was afraid I might miss something from his Cadet “Milestone.” Gladly, I have loving parents who didn’t require me to look for a job or to give back as early as that time, they only told me to do whatever I want this time (because I think they were relieved that the “future” is mine after passing the NLE, and after all, I was only 20 years old that time). My parents were very supportive, so I never looked for a job after College, I just “enjoyed” or I think the better term is “rested,” after of course the grueling review for the exam.

While waiting for his R&R, I am as hopeless as a person who wants snowflakes in Summer. I just hang in there, waiting for his break, of course my parents know Sancho as early as that time, and they treated him as their own child, they were very supportive of us. (Sobrang tiwala, and kita niyo naman ngayon ang results ng pagtitiwala ng both sides ng parents namin, kami pa rin, at sa Awa at Tulong ng Diyos, hindi naman kami pumalya. Hehe)

Here are the things { I did, I am doing, and I think I will continue to do } whenever I miss him during his deployment.

1. CULTIVATE A NEW HOBBY

TBH, I’ve had a lot of “new” hobbies, name it: collected and tried to take care of plants (but after a week I’ve gotten lazy, so my Dad continued watering them and they withered after a couple of months hehe): took care of a dog (my Mom continued taking care of Britney~my Pekingese Dog, until she died after mounted by an AsKal, this is a true story, I will talk about this in a different entry post); I’ve tried ARTS! You know, crayons, paints and stuff on a canvass, after a few days, I got lazy again, you know what happened next.

I can talk for a day or two for the things I’ve done to help me cope with my loneliness because he was away. You might think I am overacting, but honestly, that time I was only 20 years old. Some hopeless romantic kid who just found out about love, so yeah, call me crazy. Hehe

So the point here is, do something new. Promise, it will alleviate your loneliness.

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2. LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

The first language I’ve self-learned was Finnish. (Nauso kasi ‘yun dati sa Baguio e.) Then later, of course, Japanese. Try to learn a new language, it will be so dramatic if you say I love you in different languages, right? Or try to learn new dialects from our very own country, like for me, I speak Pangasinan and Ilocano fluently, and I am currently learning how to speak in Cebuano, because Sancho was assigned to a Cebuano-speaking area and actually he could already speak fluently that sometimes he doesn’t notice he’s talking to me in Cebuano. (Lagi niya ako Binibisaya nang hindi niya napapansin, gusto ko rin matuto para makasagot ako sakaniya hehe.)

3. ENROLL IN A SHORT COURSE

That first assignment he took right after his graduation was one of the deepest dents in our relationship. But I took it head on, and came out alive and somewhat productive. As he was busy applying his military prowess in the field, I, too, was applying my baking prowess.  LOL I enrolled in Baking Class for about a month or so. At first it was just for fun, or something to keep me busy, then it dawned on me, I was actually enjoying every single minute I spent inside the Baking Lab. I just lab it. LOL

Learn something new, promise it will be worth it, want to know why? Because when Sancho learned I was good at baking, everytime he comes home from deployment, we bake and cook together. It’s actually kind of fun! Next time, I’ll be enrolling in Culinary, promise!

4. VOLUNTEER

There are a lot of weekend activities you could do in your own community, it will really help you expand your horizon or grow your network.

When Sancho was busy during his first assignment after his graduation, I was left with no choice but to actually face reality of finding my own career path. I’ve volunteered to a provincial hospital and signed up for a Dialysis Program/Training–which I think I got from his brother, because his brother is a Dialysis Nurse. After the training, I went back to Baguio and thought of signing up for PMA Station Hospital’s Nurse Residency Program. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was actually that Nurse who took care of Cadets and Soldiers for almost a year inside the Academy! I will share some stories about my experience  in a different post.

5. TRAVEL

The first area I’ve ever been to without him was in Aklan, yes in Boracay. We also went to Iloilo to eat Bachoy with my Family. Believe me, it will give you stories to share when you’re already back in each others’ arms.

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6. PLAN YOUR NEXT TRIP TOGETHER

I’ve always wanted to go to Tagaytay! Haha I never had the chance to go back there as and Adult. LOL I’ve studied Language in the Metro for almost a year but then again, I never had that single chance of going there. Oh wait, I have. It was when he got back from Schooling and then I tried to lure him into going there but when it was time to leave (at 0300H) he actually asked if we could do it some other time, and went back to sleep. Poor baby!

So plan your next trip and actually implement it. hehe

7. MAKE YOUR BUCKET LIST

Believe it or not, I started to make a list of our “Relationship Goals” when we were only days old. Haha I will actually take a photo of it if the notebook was with me, but it is in Sancho’s keeping. I wrote there stuff like, go on a Movie Date, Dance in the rain, Travel together etc etc etc… Be specific!

8. DATE YOUR PARENTS

After College, I told you I didn’t for once look for a job, so I had the luxury of time to be with my parents as in ALL THE TIME for more than a year. We had coffee 3x a day in our house, we went for road trips together, we saw some movies together, and we went to new places. Thank God I had the chance to be with them esp my Dad.

9. MAKE YOUR OWN SCRAPBOOK

I always wanted to make our very own scrapbook, pero laging hindi natutuloy. Print your important photos and make some scribbles or do some arts! I think it’s fun!

10. MOSAIC YOUR PHOTOS

I want mosaic of our photos together. Pero I want puzzle pieces para may twist. I just don’t know how to do this, yet. But, I think, when I’ll get time, I can actully look for a suitable app and put my hands on it. Try it, too!

11. MAKE AVP OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP MILESTONES

When we get married, I want to show a audio-video presentation of how our relationship started. It might cost me lengthy hours of doing it, but I think it will be worth it. Make yours, too, and show him when he gets home!

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Waiting for his R&R is actually boring. Hehe But then again, if you look on a brighter side, you will realize it’s actually quality time for yourself and for your family to bond or to do new things. Keep yourself busy with things to do, and later on, just before you know it, he will be there right at your doorsteep looking for you. Go girl!

***THE LIST GOES ON! Comment or message me so we can input your thoughts! I love to hear from you! What do you do during his Deployment aside from work? 🙂

Above photo taken from Naoshima Island with Sancho. Sorry for our sun-kissed feet! LOL

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LF: Wedding Prep Tips

Desperately Looking For: Wedding Preparation Tips

I’m so happy to share with you that a year from now, I am going to marry the love of my life! I know you all know about it because I’ve posted an article about how he proposed, and until now, I can’t imagine na ito na nga, matutuloy na talaga. Ikakasal na kami ni Sancho! Yipeee…

I know it’s kind of early to really go deep into details, pero, alam niyo naman OC ako, so I’ve tried asking people/wedding suppliers about their price or packages, and sobrang nagulat ako kasi parang dolyar!! Oh no. Reality check: ang mahal magpakasal sa Pilipinas.

Biruin niyo iyon, sa flowers pa lang, it will cost you 60-80k PhP. Flowers pa lang iyan ha wala pang mga theme and all… Video coverage naman, almost a hundred thousand kapag gusto mo talaga iyong magandang klase from pre-nup and all.

At dahil dito, gusto ko mag-ask lalo na sa mga readers nating ikinasal na or may idea about weddings, ano po ba iyong mga dapat i-ready o paghandaan.

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A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Si Sancho ay Phil Army, ako naman ay Civis and Proud INC po kami. Ang alam ko magkakaroon pa ng BI or Background Inspection ang Military saakin dahil nga ako ay isang civilian at mag-aasawa ako ng isang Sundalo, tama po ba iyon? At siyempre, iba pa iyong mga requirements namin sa Church at sa Munisipyo. Actually wala talaga akong alam, kung saan magsisimula.

Sa mga nakakaalam, pwede niyo po ba akong tulungan? Tips naman po para mas mapadali ang paghahanda namin.

Ang gusto sana naming Venue sa PMA Lopez Hall of Leaders para doon mismo kung saan nagsimula ang lahat… Paano po ba? At paano rin ba kapag mag-ask ng Draw Sword from Cadets? Caterers? PMA Band? Wedding Themes? Wala po akong alam. Hehe This time, I want to ask for your suggestions, and kung may mga idea kayo pwede niyo bang i-share din dito via comments or personal message? Please po!! Super makakatulong talaga!

Looking forward to reading your comments!! Thanks in advance!

Above photo from Ibrahim Asad via pexels.com

FMI: Read Related Article: ONLY GIRL PROBLEM & 10+Wedding Prep Blues

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7 Reasons Finding “The One” Early in Life Will Help You Become More Successful

“…and then I met you.”

In love, they say, don’t rush, or you’re still too young to be in a relationship; but what if the universe conspired to let you meet the love of your life, before you even know which career path you will take? I say that’s totally fine, why? Because there are a lot of reasons why finding the right person early in life could help you become even more successful; and here’s a few:

YOU MATURE TOGETHER

Accept it or not, people mature with their age. You will not have any amount of wisdom there is in the world as long as you won’t take a year after year of failures. Hence, when you experience growing up or maturing with the same person, nothing else will give you the assurance that the person is really worth keeping.

YOU BUILD YOUR DREAMS TOGETHER

Coming together is a BEGINNING.
Keeping together is PROGRESS.
Working together is SUCCESS.

As you take every milestone towards your goals, hand in hand, you take each step needed to get you wherever life may take you. You started as lost kids who tried to find their place in the world, and later on, you figured out which path to take. But what’s more amazing was you started to build your dreams together.

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YOU EXPERIENCE FAILURE TOGETHER

Seeing someone in the lowest place they could possibly be, and still choosing to love them anyway, is nothing but unconditional love. Nothing comes easy in life which is worth keeping. It has to be tested with time and adversities. But when you surpassed each hurdle that blocks your way, still with the same person, is uncustomary. Being together during the highs is given, but staying together during the lows is exceptional.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS YOU LIKE THEY DO

With you… I feel safe and sound.

Sometimes, when you cannot decipher which path to take, or worse is when you can’t even understand yourself anymore, the only person who could only put you back to your sanity is no one but your mate. For having seen you during your bests and your worsts, they know to calm you during an uproar.

NO ONE ELSE KNOWS THEM LIKE YOU DO

Everybody has their own tranquility inside, but when complicated situation happens, you know that the only person they need is you. Why? Because you know how to bring them back to daylight when they lose their way. You know, because you know their heart.

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YOU SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES

Nobody else’s side will you ever wish to be, but right by the side of your significant other, especially during your success. For helping you fight the battles life continues to give; for giving you strength when you are weak; for giving you enough guidance when you lose your way; and for constantly receiving push when you lose determination, you just want to be by their side when finally, what you dreamed of was finally realised.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, YOU HAVE EACH OTHER

Wherever life takes you, no matter how many roads you choose to take, and no matter how many mistakes you put through, there will always be that assurance that there’s someone waiting for you at the end of the road—with or without the bacon.

“Forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.”

Above photo from our readers Miss Sai & Sir Kim during their prenup. <3

Read Related Articles:

“God’s Time is Always Perfect”-  from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

Love Letter from A Cadet from: Mrs. Nalang Diaries

 

 

 

 

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Caps Lock CIL: The Unrequited Love

“Cupid sometimes runs out of arrows and only shoots one person instead of two.”

Once in our life, we experience loving someone without the knowledge of the person. We know how stupid the idea is, but we cannot help but choosing loving from a distance, because, at least, from there, we could express our feelings. Here is one good epitome of someone who chose to love from afar, and hoped, at least for once, that her love will be reciprocated.

(This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2013. Original title: “CAPS LOCK”)

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Caps Lock

by Nuela Gracia F. Posadas

As we drive along the zigzag mud, I prayed to God
to keep this off my chest. I guessed He did, at least for a while.
Maybe I am unconsciously drawn to your world.
Maybe I do too, at the very rarest of times.
I believe that I belong to you as immediate family.
And this feeling attacks when I least expect it
When I am not in my best dress, When I did not get to shower,
and when I did not have the COURAGE to tell you.
And so I go on with my routine in life
smiling when not supposed to, running countless miles
to maintain my Superman strength disguised by my stick thin body,
juggling everything is served before me,
carrying that INTEGRITY you were always preaching excessively.
I become too preoccupied to even think about it, or perhaps about myself.
And yes, one day at a time, I go on with my random life;
lazing around in the mornings, skipping meals,
sleeping until my head hurts, and thinking about you until my heart breaks.
Yes, I think about you. I think about you all the time.
I sustain my LOYALTY to you even if I don’t have to,
even if there seems to be no apparent reason.
You, instead, go on with your life unaware of the single soul
wide awake on your lower bunk,
writing this note for the source of her unreciprocated love.
You go on…
You go on without the slightest idea.

***

“At least even for a little while, I was the reason behind your smile.”

Above Photo via picjumbo.com

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10 Relationship Vitals Every Couple Should Know

“I WANT US TO LAST. I don’t want to have an amazing couple of months and then it be all over in a flash. I don’t want to experience the feelings of hurt, confusion, and disappointment again. No matter what we run into & no matter how hard things get, I WANT US TO STICK TOGETHER.” -Anonymous

1. Know the real essence of PRIVACY, and apply it.

Remember: Relationships last longer when nobody knows your business. So try to keep your ‘moments’ just between the two of you. It’s fine to post photos of you during an important event of your life because it’s a milestone, but too much posting of your photos and overly lovey dovey status updates actually won’t help your relationship. Not everything in your life is “postable” in your social media. Take note, it’s not the public’s relationship but yours. Also, when you fight, nobody else has to know. You don’t need to let anyone see your dirty laundry out of the bucket. So be careful.

image source

2. Keeping Notes

Everything that’s happening in your life as a couple is a milestone. So it’s important you should document! It maybe cheesy for others to see if you are always capturing photos of you together, but that’s fine. It won’t hurt anyone, unless of course you post everything on Facebook! LOL. Take a lot of photos, and keep them in your files, later on, at least you have memories to reminisce as you move past your younger years together, as a couple. Own a camera and an external hard drive just for your photos together. Be creative, too, by compiling them in a scrap book or photo albums, or even mural of your photos together!

3. Do Not Rush!

Again, whether you’ve heard this before for the nth time, I’d still say, TIMING IS EVERYTHING. Not everything should be done shotgun or unplanned. Although majority would attest that things which happened spontaneously last, this is true, but it may not be the same with others. Love is not about sky diving, where you start at the top, and rush to the ground, it’s all about a step by step process which entails trial and error. At first it may get exciting, but there are certain days when you will find yourself in anguish. So that’s when the ‘DO NOT RUSH’ reminder comes in. Again, before you jump in a new commitment, assess yourself, are you really prepared for the roller coaster ride you are going to experience in a yet another relationship? If you answer this question and have thought of other significant priorities, I guess, you’re not ready yet, and chances are you will end up frustrated once you choose to enter a relationship, and you’re also responsible with the other person’s misery, too.

image source

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4. Crossing the line

Everything Done Horizontally Is Dangerous! If you know you are already a mature individual who could take the pressure and effects of premarital lovemaking, then fine, it’s nobody’s business. But if you are someone who preserves this for the love of her life (is there anyone who still believes in this?), then you might not want to cross the line. Remember that majority of the things you do horizontally, are the ones you cannot take back. In short, these things are irreversible. If you’re not ready, then don’t do it. TRUE LOVE WAITS.

image source

5. Public Display of Affection

About PDA. Public Display of Affection is not necessary for couples who respect themselves and who maintain the respect of the public towards them. Don’t wait until someone will say, “Get a room, already!” It’s alright to let others know she’s your girlfriend by holding her hand while walking, but it’s very unattractive to see if you are already kissing up to your throats in front of the mass. How about the children? How about your parents? C’mon, get some values. Sooner or later, you will be parents, too, and you won’t want to see this in your children, either.

6. Meeting The Parents

Of course, one of the most momentous beacons your relationship could ever hurdle is meeting each other’s parents and relatives. It could cause you a bit of anxiety, but believe me, they are also nervous to meet you. Remember, just relax and be yourself. If you are a woman who isn’t fond of wearing mountain-high heels, then don’t. If you’re a woman who doesn’t wear makeup, then that’s fine. Just be your comfortable self. Take note of this: your partner’s parents are also ordinary individuals (like you) who are only trying to be parents. Get to know them according to their own individuality and uniqueness, and surely, you will capture their hearts.

7. Meeting The Gang

Relax, it’s just the gang! LOL. But actually, this is even more of a nerve-wracking experience you could ever get yourself into. However, you do not have to impress anyone just to turn them into your side or get their favor. Again, just be yourself, and try to know them individually. There’s a reason why they are your partner’s friends, and they were also the ones who stayed longer in your partner’s life than his/her family. So try to get along with the gang!

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8. Respect is the Epitome of Love.

First of all, start with yourself. How do you regard yourself, is it with respect? How do you view other people? Do you respect them? Alex Elle once said, ‘The respect you show to others (or lack there of) is an immediate reflection on your self respect.’ This is very crucial in a relationship because how you view and respect yourself will be the way your significant other will view and respect you. Respect begets respect, and in a relationship, before you even start to love someone, you should begin respecting the person first.

image source

9. Quality and Time

A quality relationship isn’t measured with the length of time from the day you started dating. It is measured with the quality you make out of the limited time you have. Remember that a relationship is not only about showing off, but it is all about being with someone who supports you until you reach your goals and dreams in life. The person who is always beside you especially during rough times.

image source

10. Intentions

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” -Wayne Dyer

Love is not all about seeking your own happiness from someone. The purpose of relationships IS NOT to have another person to complete you. But to have another person whom to share your completeness with. Before you even start a relationship, you should ask yourself, what are your intentions? Do you take accountability afterwards? Do you take responsibility with the other person? Or are you only looking for your own happiness that’s why you want a relationship?

I remember appearing this in my newsfeed, and actually, it really makes sense.

Credits to the owner, Ogbolu Ezeugo Jerry 

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Don’t marry because of SEX,

Don’t marry because you are getting OLD,

Don’t marry because you are of AGE,

Don’t marry because you’re LONELY

Don’t marry because you need someone to support you FINANCIALLY

Don’t marry because you mistakenly got PREGNANT for him.

Don’t marry because you don’t want to LOSE thePERSON.

Don’t marry because of family PRESSURES

Don’t marry because you Like the IDEA Of Marriage

Don’t marry because of PITY or Out of PITY

Don’t marry because of TRIBE

Don’t marry because you admire all the WEDDING GOWNS you see

Don’t marry because you Love KIDS

Don’t marry because all your friends are getting Married

Don’t marry because of physical/academic qualifications

BUT, Marry because you are READY for it

Marry because of Love

Marry because you want to Fulfill your PURPOSE

Marry because you want to be a Good HELP MATE…

I PRAY TO GOD ALMIGHTY TO GIVE YOU ALL THE BEST LIFE
PARTNERS WHO TRULY DESIRE TO MARRY YOU
 WITH THE
 RIGHT MOTIVES..

Above photo from Snapwire 

Love Of A Lifetime: Chapter 1

PMG Notes: This story was contributed by a former Cadet (now an Army Officer), whose love for his girlfriend is unsurmountable, he has to immortalize their story LOL. Itago na lang daw natin siya sa pangalang Cadet J, isa raw siyang simple at mapagmahal na nilalang. Ehem. Actually guys, hindi lang siya basta-bastang Cadet. He graduated top in his class, biruin niyo, hindi lang talaga brawn and brains ang mga Cadets natin, meron din silang big love na nakatago sa dibdib nila (hindi lang halata hehe!). In fairness nakakakilig ang kwento niya. This story is from a Cadet’s POV, first in PMG. Thanks, Cadet J, for trusting PMG!

LOVE OF A LIFETIME

CHAPTER 1: Find Out

September 17, 2010, Friday

Matapos ang limang araw na bagbagan sa acads (academic bombardment), heto, busy na naman ang Cadet Corps sa paglilinis ng kwarto, pagsa-shine ng lahat ng sapatos pati lahat ng metal parts na gagamitin sa parada at pagpe-prepare sa buong barracks para naman every is happy sa buong weekend dahil may privilege kami…

September 18, 2010, Saturday

So heto na nga, Sabado na. Barracks and Ranks Inspection na naman, pagkatapos, Testimonial Parade and review para sa bisita. Normal routine na sa mga Kadete ang Parade and Review every Saturday.

So after ng Parade, vaultfiles nag 60- 60 (ngmamadali) ang lahat para magbihis ng Dress White para sa noon mess. Muntik ko ng makalimutan MOG (Messenger Of the Guard) pala ako. Ito yung mga duty guards na nag i-entertain ng mga bisita sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge, Lopez Hall at PMA Museum at nag-eexplain sa kanila kung may mga tanong sila about sa Academy or may hinahanap silang kadete. So excuse ako sa noon mess at dumiretso na ako sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge. Kasama ng ibang MOG, doon lang kami patayu-tayo, palakad-lakad. Tapos lilipat na naman sa Lopez Hall.

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After noon, may mga bisita nang pumasok at ngtatanong, so ini-entertain naman naming nang maayos. Kamay, Ngiti, Bati ‘ika nga.

Hanggang sa bandang hapon na, mga bandang 1500H (3pm), may dalawang babaeng pumasok sa Lounge. Mga nasa 18 to 19 years old silang dalawa. Noong una dahil pa hard-to-get effect iyong mga moves ko, hindi ko lang pinansin kasi normal na lang naman na may mga bisitang pumapasok. Dahil likas na sa aming mga Kadete ang pagiging “friendly” kinausap sila ng aking mga kasamahang MOG. Syempre dahil shy type din ako, doon lang ako sa tabi. Strikto ang dating, tiger look ang mukha, Mala-Hercules ang Katawan (hahaha).

…Then all of a sudden, napatingin ako doon sa dalawang babae na kakapasok lang sa Lounge. Napansin ko iyong isang babae, parang si Glaiza De Castro ang dating! Artistahin! Sabi ko sa sarili ko, “WOW” mukhang nakita ko na ang babaeng magiging “Love of a Lifetime” ko. Pero dahil pa-hard-to-get nga ako, naghehesitate akong makipag-usap at lumapit sa kanila. Pero dahil audacious Knight naman ako, sige “so what, so what” na lang. Pakapalan na lang ‘to ng mukha. Isa lang pumasok sa isip ko, makuha ang number niya at baka maunahan pa ako ng mga kasama ko (hahaha). Although hindi naman ito ang first time na mag-find out ako ng number kasi lagi akong complying sa Upperclass noon na kuhanin, i-find out iyong number ng mga babaeng sa tingin nila love of the lifetime din nila (hahaha).

So ito na nga…the moment of truth…dahan-dahan ko munang hinugot iyong papel at ballpen ko… dahil may planning process na itinuturo sa Academy tinitingnan kong mabuti iyong bawat anggulo baka naman ma-epic fail ako… Every action must be carefully and strategically planned.

Una, Sinubukan ko munang isulat yung ballpen baka naman mapahiya ako at manghiram pa ako ng ballpen sa kanya.

Pangalawa, tiningnan ko muna kung malinis ba yung papel na pagsusulatan ko, baka naman may ibang number na nakasulat doon.

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Pangatlo, where will be my axis of advance…saan ko siya lalapitan banda.

Pang apat, dapat may rehearsal pero sa utak ko na lang ginawa iyon. Mahirap na, ma-burn out pa iyong plano ko.

Lastly, mga isang sakong courage, bravery at lakas ng loob lang katapat niyan…

Kabado si Cadet. Actually lahat ng pinaplano ko, hindi nasunod (hahaha). Hindi dahil sa bagal kong mag-react muntik ko nang hindi maabutan. Palabas na sila.

Lumapit si Cadet “Hi maam (vaultfiles na approach)” medyo kabado ako dahil parang mas tiger look pa sa akin kung makatingin. Mukhang strikta. Mukhang Isnabera pero sabi ko nga “so what, so what” na lang iyan. “Pwede makuha ang iyong Mobile number Ma’am”…WOW! Kanina pa ako nagpapaplano ng mga sasabihin ko iyon lang pala iyong masasabi ko…No Go talaga…

“Sinong nagpapakuha?”-tanong niya. Dahil na subdue ako ng kalaban, nabawasan ng kalahating sako iyong courage at bravery ko..

“Yung kasama ko po, Ma’am.” (sabay turo sa kasama ko hahaha)

“Bakit hindi siya ang kumuha?” Naloko na. Mapapalaban ‘ata ung reasoning skills ko ah.

“Ay hindi pala Maam, ako pala talaga ang gustong kumuha.” Buti na lang naisip kong audacious knight ako. Pero mas lalo akong kinabahan baka naman hindi ibigay. Mission Failed ito..

Siguro dahil nakita naman niyang medyo kinakabahan ako at parang lumiliit na iyong boses ko..Naawa naman.. Binigay rin…ayos… Mission Accomplished si Cadet… 🙂

CONTINUE READING:

CHAPTER 2: CALLING & WAITING

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