How To Avoid Heated Arguments

It’s You & Me VS. The Problem NOT You VS. Me

Since marami sa inyo, Readers natin, ang nagme-message sa PMG dahil sa kanilang mga heartbroken stories, tampuhan, and mga away na nagsimula lang sa “pagka-miss” and all… Tonight, ito iyong topic natin…

HOW TO AVOID HEATED ARGUMENTS

“Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” -Sancho

I am not saying na kami ni Sancho, hindi kami nagdadaan sa mga problema, kasi kung hindi rin kami nagdaan sa mga tampuhan or mga break up stories, hindi kami magiging matibay at aabot sa 8 years hehe… pero iyang nga, ganiyan sinasabi niya kapag inaaway ko siya… “Mag-aaway lang tayo, pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay.” Ang sweet ‘no? Haha Pero hindi iyan sweet ‘pag beast mode ka. LOL

Yes, normal lang magkaroon ng tampuhan… Pero hindi ito ang dahilan para mag-away na kayo. Magtatampuhan, pero magpapatawaran din sa bandang huli. Ganito kasi ‘yan e, kapag meron kayong arguments, lagi niyong titignan iyong sarili niyo objectively, at kung ano ba talaga iyong issue. Hindi iyong, “Ikaw kasi e…” Hindi ganun.. Haha siyempre sa mga Ladies na medyo bagets bagets pa, mapupusok pa ang damdamin, huminahon lang tayo… Huwag na huwag magbibitiw ng masasakit na salita na hindi na natin kayang bawiin.

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Okay, nag-away kayo kasi hindi siya nakapag-reply agad o kaya umalis siya sa kalagitnaan ng heated argument kasi hindi mo alam, baka rin may duty siya di ba o tinawag ng Upper Class or ni Bossing… Minsan kasi nagsisimulang lumala ang isang tampuhan, magiging away, kapag tayong girls, uminit na ang ulo o kaya naman, napikon… hahaha lagi namang ganun di ba.. siyempre babae lang din tayo, marami tayong intensed or extreme emotions.. Hormonal? Lol

Una rin kasi sa lahat, napipikon tayo kasi nga hindi nila nami-meet iyong expectations natin… Arguments start with unmet expectations. Ito observation ko lang sa relasyon namin ha… In-assess ko kasi sarili ko e, madalas kasi akong mainis dati sa kaniya kapag seen lang message ko or kapag may sinasabi ako na parang hindi naman niya siniseryoso, lalung-lalo pa kapag may important discussion kami tapos bigla na lang siyang umaalis ng walang paalam..

Di ba, nakakainis naman talagay iyon? Hahaha… Natanong ko sa sarili ko, napakadaling intindihin naman sana na may trabaho iyong tao, kaya siya biglang umaalis or what… tapos ako bakit ako maiinis? Kasi nga, gaya ng sabi ko, unmet expectations. Ine-expect ko kasi sa kaniya, pakikinggan niya ako, that we’ll discuss things thoroughly ganiyan, o kaya magiging sobrang available siya sa akin, kasi nga, hello, girlfriend niya ako. Iyan iyong mga expectations ko, pero hindi niya nami-meet because of some reasons—reasons na valid naman di ba?

Work With Kim Sancho

Everytime na nag-away kayo, huwag kaagad maninisi. Alamin mo muna kung anong dahilan bakit in the first place, seen zone ka lang, o kaya hindi siya kaagad naka-reply or what.. Sabi nga nila, give the benefit of the doubt... Sige, para sa mga bata pa na hindi masyadong maiintindihan iyan (kasi ako rin noon inaamin ko hindi ko talaga iyan ma-gets haha), ano ba iyong benefit of the doubt? Ito iyong bibigyan mo iyong tao ng “space” para sa mga bagay na “nagawa” na niya na hindi dapat magawa kasi ina-accept mo iyong possibility na meron siyang valid explanation kung bakit niya iyon nagawa–don’t get me wrong when I say, “bagay na nagawa niya” ha, iba pa rin iyong mambabae siya or what ibang usapan na iyon… What I’m trying to say is, iyong mga bagay na nagawa niya na kinasama ng loob mo like seen zone ka, or hindi ka niya natawagan ng ilang araw…

Everytime na darating tayo sa point na mag-aaway, or siya iyong pinaka-nakakainis na tao at the moment, lagi mong tatanungin iyong sarili mo, bakit ka ba talaga nagagalit? Sabihin mo nga sa sarili mo ano na lang ba iyong dahilan na magalit ka na lang ng ganiyan? Kung may point ka naman kung bakit ka nainis sa kaniya, huminahon ka muna bago mo siya kausapin… YOU and HIM versus the problem, NOT you versus him. Ok?

Tignan mo lagi ang situation objectively, ano ba talaga ang nangyari? May reason ba siya na gawin iyon? Nag-sorry na ba siya? Nagpaliwanag na ba siya? Bago ang lahat, kinalma mo na ba iyong sarili mo? Ok kung ok na lahat ng mga iyan, this time, pag-usapan niyong dalawa na parang teammates, ano ba iyong pwede niyong gawin para hindi na iyon mangyari. Pwede bang, i-message ka muna niya bago siya umalis or before hand magsabi na siya na magiging busy ka para kapag naputol ang usapan niyo, alam mo na na busy na siya. Pag-usapan niyo ano ang dapat niyong gawin. Pareho kayong matatalinong tao, at kaya niyo iyan pag-usapan.

OPEN COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy and lasting relationship. Dapat marunong kayong mag-communicate ng feelings niyo sa isa’t isa through words, bakit ka galit, bakit ka nainis, bakit ka masaya, bakit ka in love, mga bagay na sobrang importante.

Kasi sa relationship natin, bihira tayong magkita, kaya kahit na gusto mo na lang sana ay yakapin ka niya para hindi ka na galit, e hindi naman niya iyon magagawa diba? Wish niya lang hahaha… Pinagseseparate kayo ng malayong distansiya e… and since LDR tayo, tandaan mo ‘to, 97percent of Communication is NON-VERBAL. May 3percent lang tayong kailangang gamitin sa tamang paraan para healthy ang relationship natin.. Kasi, iyong part na NON-VERBAL, hindi mo naman iyon magagawa di ba? hehehe so make the most out of the 3percent na natitira which is iyong VERBAL part.

REMEMBER: Bago ka magsalita, huminahon ka muna. Iyan ang totoong Military Girlfriend/Military Wife, laging kalmado iyan.

This is it for tonight, I hope marami kang napulot na lesson sa aking post na ito, paki-tag mo iyong love of your life para ma-open iyong mind niya na meron siyang mga expectations na kailangang i-meet para ikaw laging masaya, haha because remember, Happy Wife (or GF), Happy Life! Lol Para ‘di siya miserable ‘pag inaway-away mo. lol

“Baby, just because we have arguments doesn’t mean I’m going to break up with you. I love you.”

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 above photo from freestocks.org via pexels.com

 

Top 10 Most Read Articles of 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Once again, we were given another year to “get it right,” and we thank the Lord for giving us another life to live. But before we  go ahead and start the new year head on, I would like to reminisce the past year with you.

02 August 2017 was the date PMG FB Page was created, and from then on, I was with you all along, and for that, I personally THANK YOU! Thank you for your unending messages, your valuable comments and your shares!

So here are the Top 10 Most Read Articles of PMG from its 655 Followers! Again, thank  you so much for without you, PMG will not be possible!

TOP 10

How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

A will tell you a little background. But, if you are a follower of PMG/Proud Military Girl, you will follow through this post. But why in the first place I left him for a “greener pasture?” Actually, it didn’t just happen.

I told you in my previous post, “10+ Things To Do While Waiting For His R&R” that one of the deepest dents we had in our relationship was his first assignment.  During his Cadetship, and his month-long vacation after Graduation, I was there, and then came his deployment. He was brought to the South super far from me! First assignment, Mindanao. Typical area where Luzon Soldiers were being  deployed. I was really devastated. CONTINUE READING

TOP 9

9 Reasons Being A Military Spouse Is The Toughest Job In The Military

“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what is required.” -Winston Churchill

A military wife goes through a lot of things but chooses to keep it to herself because she doesn’t want to bother her family or friends, after deciding to marry the love of her life, who happens to be in the military. That’s why, those emotions and thoughts were only kept unsaid and remained as secrets that only those who go through it could understand. Nevertheless, here are some of the things which justify why being a military spouse is the toughest job in the military. CONTINUE READING

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TOP 8

7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple. CONTINUE READING

TOP 7

6 Reasons Every Military Wife/Gf Should Visit The ‘Camp’

“Behind every strong soldier, there is a strong woman, who stands behind him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.” -Anonymous

Most of the military women especially spouses have formed the habit of staying at home. They wait for their Soldier knocking by their house’s doorstep, and some divert their longing and focus their attention to take care of their kids or manage the house. But this habit of not visiting your military partner in his work area doesn’t usually help the relationship grow, sometimes, it leads to future gap or misunderstanding.

After having asked military spouses who stayed stunning even after giving birth, and from collected experiences of awesome military girlfriends, and Officers’ Girls, here are some of the many reasons why every Military Wife/Gf should visit their man in the Camp. CONTINUE READING

TOP 6

8 Things Only A Military Wife/Girlfriend Will Understand

When you are in a military relationship, chances are, you are always being asked by your friends what it really feels like loving someone who is a thousand miles away from you, and chances are, no matter how you explain your thoughts and feelings to them, they will never understand you, unless they’ll experience it firsthand.

In behalf of the minority, and representing the “silent” background of the strife, allow me to share with you this reality, and what it really feels like loving a Soldier. CONTINUE READING

TOP 5

9 Warning Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

This is a response to our reader who wants to know if this certain Cadet is really serious about her

I’m not an advocate for busting someone or anything doing negative stuff just to prove a point, but this time, for the sake of our reader, I want to talk about this topic

I have a lot of thoughts about this, because, I know a lot of ladies who were brought to sudden heartbreak because the man they think were serious about them, were actually just fooling around. CONTINUE READING

 TOP 4

IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before

Once and for all I want to answer all our family’s and friends’ question, “Bakit hindi pa kayo nagpapakasal?”

Natatawa ako kasi lagi na lang ganito ang tanong saamin ng mga friends namin lalo na ang mga pamilya namin…

Bakit nga ba? CONTINUE READING

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TOP 3

9 Cute But Annoying Things Your Cadet BF Tells You

1.

Situation: Pagkatapos niyong kumain at nakaupo pa kayo sa table kung saan kayo kumain, say, sa food court or any other restaurants, tapos ikaw: bigla kang naglabas ng mirror kasi titignan mo lang naman kung meron kang dumi sa mukha or ngipin… sasabihin niya, “My, hindi dito ang tamang place para magmake-up, ‘dun ka dapat sa sink.”

2.

Everytime na kakain ka ng certain fruit, like saging, sasabihin niya, “Alam mo ba My, tinuruan kaming kumain ng ganyan in a formal way, parang ganito ‘ata iyon.” Tapos kukunin niya iyong knife, itatry niyang i-fruit ninja iyong saging, mula sa balat, hanggang sa magiging bite size na lang. Hahaha omg

3.

Ganun din ‘pag kumain kayo ng crab. Haha CONTINUE READING

TOP 2

Memoirs of A Kaydet Girl

This article was originally published in The Corps Magazine, the Philippine Military Academy’s Cadet Corps Magazine, Alumni Issue 2011. Original title: “Memoirs of A Weekend Girlfriend.”

*****

“Nakauwi ka na ba? Musta pala iyong pinanood mong movie?”

These were the last words he sent me through SMS. It was only 2030H then and it was Saturday. It’s the 30th day of October to be exact. I thought he just fell asleep because of the exasperating activities he is doing habitually inside the academy. After an hour, I texted him again, saying,

“Sleep tight, antukin ka talga. Nga pala, wag kang masyadong malungkot dyan ah kahit mag-isa ka sa barracks. Nand2 lang ako sana hindi mo iyon maklimutan! Good night, my Indian! ^^”

Waking up from nowhere from one of my midnight sleep-awakening episodes during that night, I reached out for my cellphone, expecting a message from him. Nothing. So I just continued my sleep and thought that maybe he was just back from the routine of logging in the cellphone and so much of that what-have-you’s inside.
October 31, November 1, 2, nothing… 4 days… 5 days… 6 days… still, there’s no text from my beloved Cadet. CONTINUE READING

TOP 1

Yes, well, if you are a Follower of PMG, you know very well who Cadet J is! And yes, he topped off all the articles from PMG’s 2017 posts! Imagine! Almost earned 12,000 views! Here’s our Top 1 ***DRUM ROLL***

PMG Notes: This story was contributed by a former Cadet (now an Army Officer), whose love for his girlfriend is unsurmountable, he has to immortalize their story LOL. Itago na lang daw natin siya sa pangalang Cadet J, isa raw siyang simple at mapagmahal na nilalang. Ehem. Actually guys, hindi lang siya basta-bastang Cadet. He graduated top in his class, biruin niyo, hindi lang talaga brawn and brains ang mga Cadets natin, meron din silang big love na nakatago sa dibdib nila (hindi lang halata hehe!). In fairness nakakakilig ang kwento niya. This story is from a Cadet’s POV, first in PMG. Thanks, Cadet J, for trusting PMG!

LOVE OF A LIFETIME

CHAPTER 1: Find Out

September 17, 2010, Friday

Matapos ang limang araw na bagbagan sa acads (academic bombardment), heto, busy na naman ang Cadet Corps sa paglilinis ng kwarto, pagsa-shine ng lahat ng sapatos pati lahat ng metal parts na gagamitin sa parada at pagpe-prepare sa buong barracks para naman every is happy sa buong weekend dahil may privilege kami…

September 18, 2010, Saturday

So heto na nga, Sabado na. Barracks and Ranks Inspection na naman, pagkatapos, Testimonial Parade and review para sa bisita. Normal routine na sa mga Kadete ang Parade and Review every Saturday.

So after ng Parade, vaultfiles nag 60- 60 (ngmamadali) ang lahat para magbihis ng Dress White para sa noon mess. Muntik ko ng makalimutan MOG (Messenger Of the Guard) pala ako. Ito yung mga duty guards na nag i-entertain ng mga bisita sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge, Lopez Hall at PMA Museum at nag-eexplain sa kanila kung may mga tanong sila about sa Academy or may hinahanap silang kadete. So excuse ako sa noon mess at dumiretso na ako sa MAGILAS Visitors Lounge. Kasama ng ibang MOG, doon lang kami patayu-tayo, palakad-lakad. Tapos lilipat na naman sa Lopez Hall.

After noon, may mga bisita nang pumasok at ngtatanong, so ini-entertain naman naming nang maayos. Kamay, Ngiti, Bati ‘ika nga.

CONTINUE READING “LOVE OF MY LIFE”

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Again, thank you for making 2017 possible , PMG Readers! 2018 will be so much fun with our growing community, thank you! I promise that I will continue giving you love posts to read, as long as there is One Soul left to read my entries, I will continue this quest of being a PROUD MILITARY GIRL. Thank you guys! I love you all! Happy New Year!

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7 Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

A part of being with someone means learning their ways or adapting their own thinking and somehow, without intention, you tend to apply it in your own day-to-day life.

I’ve been in a relationship with an MIU (man in uniform: then-Cadet/Soldier) for almost 8 years, and I can say, a lot of his own “ideals” in life, I tend to actually adapt into my own life.

He is a Soldier, generally, we could conclude that he should be protective and strict, yes protective, and a little bit strict at times, and since we are soon to build a family of our own–a Military Family at that, he tends to be so heedful about the values we cultivate as a couple.

Since Day 1, he has been very “extra protective” of me because he knows how naive I am, how impulsive I am to making harsh decisions, and how I easily slip things on my hands, unintentionally.

So through time, I’ve learned these things from him, important values I think I could share to you, and I hope it will help you, too.

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Life Hacks I’ve Learned From My Soldier

NEVER VOLUNTEER INFORMATION

He is a Soldier, as much as I’d like to deny this fact, we will be having “extra special” kind of family in the future, where “extra” means we have to be very vigilant and careful because, bad guys do exist. If you know where I’m getting into, you know how important this really is. So I cannot barge around meeting new people and tell them my boyfriend is a Soldier, and he is currently assigned to this and that, etc, etc, our home address, where his parents’ home is, etc etc. FACT: I actually don’t carry any military-related stuff, his photo wearing his rank, or PMA souvenir, takot ko lang. Civis lang lagi dapat ang peg.

NEVER TELL PEOPLE YOUR WHEREABOUTS

First clue: He deactivated navi tools in our devices; and when I’m with him, we tend to keep ourselves being tracked by the social media, and stuff. I know sometimes it’s kind of overacting because who cares where we are after all, right? We are not celebrities, or VIPs, but he explained to me that he is a government property; he is a walking hot stuff with “barcode” ready to be snatched by some dude trying to ruin the democracy or so. LOL. Kidding aside, I should really give this some serious consideration, because I know he has Serial Number, and he is more important as I think he is, especially to the government.

So yeah, majority of our photos are “throwback” or “days ago” photos, and I’ve gotten used to it.

Read More: Military Relationship Facts

MASTER SELF-PRESERVATION

“No matter where you are, always be at peace with everybody. Don’t take sides, be neutral. Don’t open your mouth if you have any opinion about someone’s life, it’s not your business. Behave properly.” These are just his common precautions which he reminds me on a regular basis.

You know, I’m an INTJ type of person,  so I tend to be analytical all the time.

INTJ PERSONALITY: Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas. ~MBTI

(Take the “MBTI” Test to find out which personality type you belong, and share your results, I want to know!)

I tend to be critical about things, and I don’t settle for less. This is my then-personality and it has mellowed down as my BF tamed me through the years.

DO NOT OPEN YOUR MOUTH if you will only say bad stuff or suggestive comments to people who are not your people, haha MAPAPAAWAY KA LANG. Yes, I’ve learned a lot from this.

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ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

When we go to a totally new place, esp buildings for that matter, I always find him looking for the “EMERGENCY EXIT.” He is very vigilant this way. Later on in life, I realized I’m becoming him. You know, we are a typical LDR couple so majority of my time I spend alone, and these “life skills” of his tend to creep through my veins before my own eyes. Haha I was actually taking serious precautions that my co-workers find me a little bit weird already. Haha

Read More: How My Soldier BF Got Over His Loneliness After I Went Abroad

SAFETY FIRST

Yes, whatever happens, choose the greater good for a greater number. hehe Basic Life Support 101. Kidding aside, you have to really prioritze safety. It’s better safe than sorry, sabi nga nila.

SAVE

I’m the type of person before who loves to YOLO. I spend my hard-earned money to unnecessary things, buying stuff I actully don’t need. Here comes Sancho, a spendthrift person, who saves and invests regularly. Even before he graduates from the Academy, he has already estbalished this habit, which now, I am currently applying because of his influence. LOL Remember this: save now, and it will save you in the future.

“The simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”

LOVE & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Actually, this might sound a little bit funny, or “not-so-serious” item on the list, but hey! It’s actually vital. I was reading last month, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I was actually planning to re-read it again, and on the early pages, I remember, author Stephen Covey explains that in order to “produce” you have to actually invest on the “production capability” or the P/PC Balance Principle.

Aesop’s fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg TM

This fable is the story of a poor farmer who one day discovers in the nest of his pet goose a glittering golden egg. At first, he thinks it must be some kind of trick. But as he starts to throw the egg aside, he has second thoughts and takes it in to be appraised instead. The egg is pure gold! The farmer can’t believe his good fortune. He becomes even more incredulous the following day when the experience is repeated. Day after day, he awakens to rush to the nest and find another golden egg. He becomes fabulously wealthy; it all seems too good to be true.

But with his increasing wealth comes greed and impatience. Unable to wait day after day for the golden eggs, the farmer decides he will kill the goose and get them all at once. But when he opens the goose, he finds it empty. There are no golden eggs — and now there is no way to get any more. The farmer has destroyed the goose that produced them.

But as the story shows, true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

source: EFECTIVENESS DEFINED by Stephen R. Covey

Sancho always tells me this, “My, katawan lang natin ang puhunan natin sa trabaho, kaya dapat alagaan natin ang sarili natin.” He always reminds me to take my vitamins regularly, sleep early, stay warm, eat healthy, exercise reguarly and stuff, and actually he reminds me to update my “work stuff” regularly, especially my shoes or work clothes, because these things are the ones which I use everyday during work, so it has to be extra durable and could actually prevent incidents of injury, ie the shoes/car/ride that we use everyday. You know.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Yes, I know sometimes we’re kind of over doing stuff, but actually if you come to think of it, we should really be extra careful because we are inside the Military. We are not just civilians who snap around trying to challenge freedom; we are a part of the organization who actually maintain and uphold the peace and order for others to actually enjoy their “freedom,” and by this, we should at least, try not contribute to the problem, and do our best to at least help our MIU uphold their ideals by being vigilant in our own little ways.

Notes: Sancho is a Junior Officer of the Philippine Army, I, on the other hand is an ordinary girl from an ordinary family, trying to love an extraordinary man 🙂

Military Relationship is tough, but if you belong to us, like the PAGE for more “extraordinary” articles to read. See you soon! ~KimSancho

***

The list goes on! What life hacks have you learned from your Soldier? Tell us your stories by commenting on this article.

Above photo from Lukasvia pexels.com

Read More:  9Reasons Being A Military Spouse is the Toughest Job in the Military

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10+ Things to Do While Waiting for His R&R

I know even the minute you bid goodbye, you already start to miss him, right? I can say, “been there, done that,” but then again, even if we’ve been together for quite some time, time and time again, it pains me when he’s gone.  I know how you feel, because right at this moment, I’m feeling it, too.

“But girl, everything will be all right, alright?” This is what I could only tell myself, right now, and I could may be say to you. Everything is going to turn out well.

Let me tell you a little story, this happened when I graduated from College and he was still inside the Academy, that I think, he was a Cow, back then. Those times, I know I have to find a job because after all, (in God’s love and providence,) I’ve passed the board exam, and I was only waiting for my license number which will be issued by PRC. But then, to tell you frankly, I never chose to look for a job or to have a committed work-related stuff back then because I was afraid I might miss something from his Cadet “Milestone.” Gladly, I have loving parents who didn’t require me to look for a job or to give back as early as that time, they only told me to do whatever I want this time (because I think they were relieved that the “future” is mine after passing the NLE, and after all, I was only 20 years old that time). My parents were very supportive, so I never looked for a job after College, I just “enjoyed” or I think the better term is “rested,” after of course the grueling review for the exam.

While waiting for his R&R, I am as hopeless as a person who wants snowflakes in Summer. I just hang in there, waiting for his break, of course my parents know Sancho as early as that time, and they treated him as their own child, they were very supportive of us. (Sobrang tiwala, and kita niyo naman ngayon ang results ng pagtitiwala ng both sides ng parents namin, kami pa rin, at sa Awa at Tulong ng Diyos, hindi naman kami pumalya. Hehe)

Here are the things { I did, I am doing, and I think I will continue to do } whenever I miss him during his deployment.

1. CULTIVATE A NEW HOBBY

TBH, I’ve had a lot of “new” hobbies, name it: collected and tried to take care of plants (but after a week I’ve gotten lazy, so my Dad continued watering them and they withered after a couple of months hehe): took care of a dog (my Mom continued taking care of Britney~my Pekingese Dog, until she died after mounted by an AsKal, this is a true story, I will talk about this in a different entry post); I’ve tried ARTS! You know, crayons, paints and stuff on a canvass, after a few days, I got lazy again, you know what happened next.

I can talk for a day or two for the things I’ve done to help me cope with my loneliness because he was away. You might think I am overacting, but honestly, that time I was only 20 years old. Some hopeless romantic kid who just found out about love, so yeah, call me crazy. Hehe

So the point here is, do something new. Promise, it will alleviate your loneliness.

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2. LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

The first language I’ve self-learned was Finnish. (Nauso kasi ‘yun dati sa Baguio e.) Then later, of course, Japanese. Try to learn a new language, it will be so dramatic if you say I love you in different languages, right? Or try to learn new dialects from our very own country, like for me, I speak Pangasinan and Ilocano fluently, and I am currently learning how to speak in Cebuano, because Sancho was assigned to a Cebuano-speaking area and actually he could already speak fluently that sometimes he doesn’t notice he’s talking to me in Cebuano. (Lagi niya ako Binibisaya nang hindi niya napapansin, gusto ko rin matuto para makasagot ako sakaniya hehe.)

3. ENROLL IN A SHORT COURSE

That first assignment he took right after his graduation was one of the deepest dents in our relationship. But I took it head on, and came out alive and somewhat productive. As he was busy applying his military prowess in the field, I, too, was applying my baking prowess.  LOL I enrolled in Baking Class for about a month or so. At first it was just for fun, or something to keep me busy, then it dawned on me, I was actually enjoying every single minute I spent inside the Baking Lab. I just lab it. LOL

Learn something new, promise it will be worth it, want to know why? Because when Sancho learned I was good at baking, everytime he comes home from deployment, we bake and cook together. It’s actually kind of fun! Next time, I’ll be enrolling in Culinary, promise!

4. VOLUNTEER

There are a lot of weekend activities you could do in your own community, it will really help you expand your horizon or grow your network.

When Sancho was busy during his first assignment after his graduation, I was left with no choice but to actually face reality of finding my own career path. I’ve volunteered to a provincial hospital and signed up for a Dialysis Program/Training–which I think I got from his brother, because his brother is a Dialysis Nurse. After the training, I went back to Baguio and thought of signing up for PMA Station Hospital’s Nurse Residency Program. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was actually that Nurse who took care of Cadets and Soldiers for almost a year inside the Academy! I will share some stories about my experience  in a different post.

5. TRAVEL

The first area I’ve ever been to without him was in Aklan, yes in Boracay. We also went to Iloilo to eat Bachoy with my Family. Believe me, it will give you stories to share when you’re already back in each others’ arms.

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6. PLAN YOUR NEXT TRIP TOGETHER

I’ve always wanted to go to Tagaytay! Haha I never had the chance to go back there as and Adult. LOL I’ve studied Language in the Metro for almost a year but then again, I never had that single chance of going there. Oh wait, I have. It was when he got back from Schooling and then I tried to lure him into going there but when it was time to leave (at 0300H) he actually asked if we could do it some other time, and went back to sleep. Poor baby!

So plan your next trip and actually implement it. hehe

7. MAKE YOUR BUCKET LIST

Believe it or not, I started to make a list of our “Relationship Goals” when we were only days old. Haha I will actually take a photo of it if the notebook was with me, but it is in Sancho’s keeping. I wrote there stuff like, go on a Movie Date, Dance in the rain, Travel together etc etc etc… Be specific!

8. DATE YOUR PARENTS

After College, I told you I didn’t for once look for a job, so I had the luxury of time to be with my parents as in ALL THE TIME for more than a year. We had coffee 3x a day in our house, we went for road trips together, we saw some movies together, and we went to new places. Thank God I had the chance to be with them esp my Dad.

9. MAKE YOUR OWN SCRAPBOOK

I always wanted to make our very own scrapbook, pero laging hindi natutuloy. Print your important photos and make some scribbles or do some arts! I think it’s fun!

10. MOSAIC YOUR PHOTOS

I want mosaic of our photos together. Pero I want puzzle pieces para may twist. I just don’t know how to do this, yet. But, I think, when I’ll get time, I can actully look for a suitable app and put my hands on it. Try it, too!

11. MAKE AVP OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP MILESTONES

When we get married, I want to show a audio-video presentation of how our relationship started. It might cost me lengthy hours of doing it, but I think it will be worth it. Make yours, too, and show him when he gets home!

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FINAL THOUGHTS: Waiting for his R&R is actually boring. Hehe But then again, if you look on a brighter side, you will realize it’s actually quality time for yourself and for your family to bond or to do new things. Keep yourself busy with things to do, and later on, just before you know it, he will be there right at your doorsteep looking for you. Go girl!

***THE LIST GOES ON! Comment or message me so we can input your thoughts! I love to hear from you! What do you do during his Deployment aside from work? 🙂

Above photo taken from Naoshima Island with Sancho. Sorry for our sun-kissed feet! LOL

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11 Life Lessons From A Soldier’s Perspective

As I read the entries, I realized, marami pa akong hindi alam sa buhay, I should really ponder on these things and actually discern kung nagagawa ko bang maging mabuti, to outgrow my immaturity and to become a better version of myself. Be positive! Fight! Fight!

This is an article contributed by a close friend of mine who happens to be a Junior Officer in the Philippine Army.

Read On:

***

1. Respect and love your parents

Kasi mga magulang mo sila kahit na anong mangyari. Cherish every moment with them.

2. Make good and unforgettable memories with your siblings

Ang mga kapatid, walang kapalit din yan..I n short, mahalaga talaga ang foundation ng family.

3. Pagdating sa friends, habang tumatanda tayo, real friends will remain

Iba ang friends sa magkakilala lang.

4. Learning never stops

Dapat as early as now, pinapahalagahan mo na ang mga natutunan mo. Para pagdating ng panahon, mai-apply mo nang tama.. Also, as we grow old, maiisip natin na lahat ng mga nangyayari sa atin, may lessons learned iyan.

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5. A good heart will never fade

Attitude matters talaga.. Pwedeng mag-fade away ang physical beauty, pero ang ugali ng isang tao, hndi makakalimutan.. Masama man or mabuti, diyan ka maaalala.. sa ugali mo..

6. Simplicity is beauty

Minsan maisip mo na okay rin pala kahit simple ka lang. Nasa confidence mo iyan. Makikita mo kasi ang beauty ng tao kapag wala siyang kahit na anong gamit or suot, through her smile , or through her eyes.. Ganun lang..

7. Life is simple

Do not over-stress yourself. Hindi mo naman kailangan patulan lahat ng issues na naririnig mo. Malulungkot ka lang. Kung hindi naman big deal, huwag ka dapat maging affected.

8. Be humble

Kung talagang may pagkakamali ka, embrace it and learn to say sorry. Be humble. Tao lang tayo, walang perfect sa atin. Lahat may mga failures and pagkakamali.

9. Gaano man kahirap or kasakit ang dinaranas mong mga problema, tuloy pa rin ang buhay

Depende lang iyan kung paano ka lumaban and paano mo i-handle ang mga problema mo.. Okay lang umiyak.. Ilabas mo lang. Ang importante fighting ka pa rin. Sabi nga doon sa Dont quit, REST IF YOU MUST BUT DONT YOU QUIT.

10.

Kahit gaano man kataas ang mga pangarap natin and kahit gaano man kalayo ang mga narating natin sa buhay, babalik and babalik tayo sa simpleng buhay kasama ang family natin. Time will come na masaya na tayo sa isang scenic view, drinking coffee.. Iyong tipong marealize mo na at least nakaya mo ang lahat.. Simple lang.. Pero masaya.

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11. Self-love is important

Self-love includes self respect and self-esteem.. Kasi kung darating sa point na mararamdaman mong wala nang ngmamahal sayo, at least maisip mo na mahal mo pala ang sarili mo. Kapag nakita ng ibang tao na you have self-respect, they will also respect you.. and tsaka mo lang masasabing kaya mo nang magmahal ng iba kapag you have already given enough love for yourself.. walang ibang magmamahal sayo kundi sarili mo lang din.

Topmost photo is a derivative of an original photo taken from Pineapple Supply Co. via pexels.com

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“God’s Time is Always Perfect” -Sai N.

This is a post in response to the recently posted article, “IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before”

I was actually ranting about my thoughts once again, about my dearly beloved Soldier, and how we managed to stay steadfast for more than 7 years, yet, still not deciding to tie the knot. (This is of course before The Proposal happened).

I’ve realized a lot when one of our readers responded to this rant post of mine LOL, it came to me that I have all I need in the world because I have him, and to really entrust my faith in God in order to conquer my doubts for myself, and fears for the future.

After you have read the article, “IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before” please read the following advice from Miss Sai, this is worth a read, everyone.

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****

In reply to this post:
IMMEDIATELY: This Word I Wouldn’t Want To Hear Before

(Ayaw ko na i-comment dun, masyadong mahaba eh.)

I read it, from the start to the very end. Let me tell you a short story before giving you an advice

My husband, then a Cadet was sent out from the Academy for some reasons. Na-turn back siya and he is waiting for a letter from PMA para makabalik siya. That is when we meet each other again.

Naging kami, then he asked me to marry him. That time he was working in a company with a good salary, may trabaho din ako. So parang financially stable naman kami. I prayed and asked God, is it the right time? I trust in Your perfect timing. Just a few days after that, he received a letter from PMA. I told myself, hindi pa right time ni Ama and I told him, go reach for your dreams. I will be here patiently waiting for you.

During the time that he was inside the Academy, I busied myself working because I have to pay for my sibling’s education. I also wanted to take master’s degree and also be a lawyer. But due to financial reasons, anak lang kami ng “Mess Kit” (a term they refer to children of ordinary soldiers or enlisted personnel) I have to he set aside my dreams to give way to my siblings.

Read Related Article from Kim&Sai: Love Letter From A Cadet

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Fast forward, he graduated from the academy. He again, asked me na mag-immediately na, I declined. I told him to spend time with his family and focus on his career and his dreams of becoming a pilot. I told him I’ll decide after he graduates from Military Pilot Training.

Just as he was about to graduate from MPT, my sister is also graduating from college and I am so happy that at last I could now spend my earnings to get a law degree. A week before his graduation, he again asked me to marry him. I told him my take on the situation. He took me to the nearest church, told me let’s pray for this. And on the night of his graduation he told me this: “Alam ko marami ka pang pangarap. Marami kang gustong marating. Pero gusto ko kasama mo ako sa pagtupad ng mga pangarap mo. Ayoko na wala ako sa tabi mo kapag masaya ka, malungkot ka… gusto kong bumawi. Wala ako nung grumaduate ka ng college, wala ako nung unang sweldo mo, wala ako nung ma-promote ka… gusto ko this time kapag naging abogado ka, nasa tabi mo ako. Gusto ko habang inaabot mo ang pangarap mo hawak mo ang kamay ko.” Hearing those words made my heart melt and told myself, man! This man really loves me. That’s the moment I said yes.

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Now my advise:

1. This is the most important of all, ask God for his perfect time. God’s time is never late nor early, it is always perfect.

2. Natatakot ka na baka you’re not good enough for him… no honey. You are the one for him. He chose you from among all the women he met. And always remember, you are to be his wife. Your goal is to be with him forever and support him, you are not just an “Ayer’s wife” you are his wife. Sinabi ko noon sa asawa ko, ayokong maging asawa ng opisyal. I married you beacuse I want to be your wife, not an officer’s wife. Kung naging sarhento ka lang or security guard, I would still marry you.

That’s it. Just pray and ask for God’s help and for sure everything will fall on its right place.

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***

PMG NOTES: You know what, after reading this again, I actually felt enlightened, and I actually felt I am adequately capable to be my man’s future wife. Once again, thank you Miss Sai for your unending support, I know you are very busy pursuing your Law Degree, but you still manage to read my stories. Special mention to Sir Arkim, welcome to PMG! Thank you for reading the stories, grabe Sir, you are simply the best, sobrang nakakakilig ang Proposal mo. To God be all the Glory!

Above photo from the couple themselves, Ms Sai and Sir Kim Nalang on their Wedding Day

Read Related Article from Kim&Sai: Love Letter From A Cadet

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Military Relationship Facts

While others stay behind the back of the silent ranks, together, we reminisce and tell tales of how we actually suffer and endure the combat of every day life… as we go along our lives and continue loving and being loved by the man of our dreams, and living the so-called “military” life.

Here are the things you got used to since Day 1 when you started loving a man in uniform.

Military Relationship Facts:

1.

Every schedule you have in your calendar is… “SUBJECT TO CHANGE”
–If I’m not mistaken, you often hear this, right? So you better not write anything on your calendar, instead.

2.

You got used to hearing, “I Will Call You Later” but you know for a fact that “later” is totally an indefinite word, which could mean, tomorrow, a few days later, or even next week.

3.

“Take life.” 
This and the other terms (like, “Buga” or “Go Ahead”) which they use, that you already (unconsciously) use in your everyday civilian life and has become a part of you. You know that “take life” means an act of doing something which is not “authorized” or should not be done as said by the rules, like using their phone after TAPS, or not logging in their phones during class (you tell me!)

4.

PRIV or PRIVILEGE. 
In Webster’s Dictionary it means: (1) a right or benefit that is given to some people and not to others; (2) a special opportunity to do something that makes you proud; but in the military world, especially to the Cadets, it only means a time to be spent with you, especially outside the camp; and when you get to hear this word, your heart beats so fast and what you only want is rush to him so as not to waste any minute of it before BTB comes.

5.

Deployment
. This is the word anyone who is a military spouse dread about. For the military partners, it means a lengthy time spent being alone, because their partners need to go back to their first priority, which is to defend the Nation. Difficult, but necessary.

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6.

Serial Number
. Before, this did not really matter to me, but someone explained to me that Soldiers cannot just wander away in any place they want to, even during their break, because they are like “property” owned by the government with serial numbers. Any change of place or plans should be reported accordingly within the jurisdiction of their ‘Boss,’ but… on the other hand, here’s when #3 applies.

7.

Short Notice LOA (Leave of Absence) from your Work. 
Like what was stated in #1, every schedule they have is subject to change, it also means you do not know when he is coming home, so when he texted you that he is already on his way home, from a thousand miles away, you ask for a short-notice LOA or even call in sick from your work or class, right?

8.

Military Time. Instructions like, “I’ll be out from the camp, 1600H of the 16th,” or just a plain, “23 of 28th” …I often received messages like this before, and it took some time until I got the hang of the 24-hour format.

9.

When he’s coming home, all your set plans will automatically be cancelled. Whether if it’s a girl’s night out, or any important extra-curricular activities you want to attend, will all be set aside, because all you want is some QT with him.

10.

You learned the meaning of “light” travel, (or you don’t even pack at all) during shotgun out-of-towns. When he comes home from deployment, all he wanted to do is to spend time with you, alone. So chances are, he might ask you to travel with him to a place where you can have quality time together. But this out-of-town idea is not actually planned, it just happens.

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11.

Souvenir Shirts. Almost all your Tees were from all the places he visited, and all the activities he attended. So you get instant couple shirts, because his is Medium or Large, and yours is always, of course, Extra Small. 🙂

12.

You got used to hearing the word, “matic” or automatic. This means that some things should not be discussed anymore, because it’s already happening. Like when he will attend a party, it will always imply that you are the Plus One. Matic na.

13.

You got used to hearing him explain that, “the distance between the hospital and the commissary is 300 meters.” Not far, nor near, but 300 meters.

14.

You always bring with you emergency sleep-over kit, like toothbrush, toothpaste, garments, and stuff, because you might be lost in time, and suddenly, it’s midnight… so, just to be ready.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

There are so much things we experienced through time, being a military couple, but, however difficult other people could look at our situation, we just simply tie our hair back and wink at them, like everything is under control, because we know, that all is well, especially when we’re side by side with our soldier men.

Tag your girl friends, your mates, your love ones or comment below, and feel free to share your stories, no matter how crazy will it seem, because we know, everything is crazy and extraordinary in the military, right? So don’t forget to comment below.

***ABOVE PHOTO from our reader, Mrs. Sai Nalang. #mrsnalangdiaries

Taken during their Wedding Prenup (Kim&Sai)

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The Horrifying Boodle Bar Scene I’ve Witnessed

So I was writing about Food We’ve Missed From The Boodle Bar and it suddenly came into me that horrifying scene I saw with my own eyes.

WARNING: This will break your heart. I’m sorry.

This happened when my Cadet Boyfriend was still a Yearling Cadet. It was a Saturday, so may parada yata, or some sort of activities involving civilians na hindi ko na maalala kung ano. I came in early, like mga 1000H kasi based sa instructions saakin ni Cadet Sancho, mabilis lang daw matapos ang  activity nila, and baka nga magkaroon pa raw bigla ng priv, pero expect the worst naman lagi iyan ‘e . So iyon na ang mindset ko.

Very vague, ang facts lang meron ako, first, Sabado, second, may parada, third, may activity involving civilians. So ibig sabihin, wala ka talagang idea kung anong oras siya magka-open time niyan, and not to mention, Yearling Cadet siya, if you know what I mean..

Buti na lang may libro akong dala, I was so into it, I didn’t notice it was already 1130H. Ambilis ng oras, haha. Coolments lang tayo kasi Kadete ang boyfriend, ‘di uso sa Kaydet Girl ang demanding sa oras at magalitin, so diyan talaga ako kumapit sa idealismong ganiyan hahaha.

30 mins later, may dumating na isang Girl din. Based on my assessment, Kaydet Girl siya, 100 percent iyan. High heels, magarang Blouse, naka-dogtag, naka-Shoulder Bag, at nakaayos, at siyempre, may hawak na celfone.

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Umupo siya sa tabi ko. Maalala ko lang kasi dito mismo sa litrato ng article na ‘to, iyong lay out ng upuan nun. May hawak siyang dalawang celfone and snacks and pasensiya na nakita ko kasi talaga dala niya ay Macaroons from Goldilocks hehe detail-oriented ako guys, pasensiya na.

Sobrang haba na ba iyong kwento ko at wala pa rin kayong makuhang horrifying? Wait for it.

So ayun, nakita niya kasi tahimik lang ako so lumipat siya sa pinakaunang chair malapit sa entrance ng Boodle Bar, so back to reading lang ako, until 30 mins later, nagfifidget na siya. Hindi siya mapakali, tatayo siya, uupo siya, tingin sa relo, tingin sa celfone, para bang naaasar na siya. Imagine 30 minutes pa lang siyang dumarating at naghihintay. 1000H ako dumating. 1200H na. Mas mahaba pa iyong panahon na naghintay ako compared sakanya (pero hindi naman ako nagcocompare, naisip ko lang din kasi, mas may karapatan pa sana akong magalit sakanya, pero ibibigay ko na kay Ate iyong eksena.)

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Dumating iyong hinihintay niyang Cadet after 20minutes, so halos isang oras din siyang naghintay, guys, pero galit na talaga si Ate. Ito ang malupit, pagkadating ng Cadet niya, na super saya na makita siya, makikita mo talaga na naglight-up ang face ni Cadet makita si Ate sa Boodle Bar, pero instead na matamis na ngiti ang i-sukli ni Ate, habang papalapit si Cadet and mga 1 meter apart na sila, binato niya iyong celfone niya sa Kadete. OMY!!!!! Mama Mia!!! Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, titingin ba ako sa librong binabasa ko or what, grabe gulat ako, guys! Galit na galit si ate, after niyang ibato iyong celfone sa Kadete, at palagay ko nasaktan iyong Cadet kasi tumama sa tiyan niya iyong celfone then next niyang binato parang bagong sim card yata iyon na nakalagay pa sa bagong sim kit iyong parang nabibili sa tindahan na tig-50pesos na smart sim ganiyan (detail-oriented talaga).

Hindi na nagpatumpik-tumpik si ate, dali-dali siyang lumabas sa Boodle Bar matapos niyang hablutin iyong bag niya at supot na dala. Waiting lang ako baka kelangan niya ng assistance kasi sa taas ng heels niya baka ‘ka ko matapilok siya sa sobrang galit niya habang mag-walk out. Napa-stop lang iyong Cadet, ayokong makipag-eye to eye contact kasi alam ko classmate siya ni Sancho, tapos alam ko rin na kailangan niya ng kaybigan para parang mag-soften ng nangyari, pero hindi ako magaling sa part na iyon, and hindi ko siya personally kilala so nakayuko lang ako sa librong tapos ko na ring basahin.

After a split seconds, bigla na lang bumalik ang ebababs na hayop sa sama ng ugali, akala ko magsosorry siya, ito ang malupit, binato niya uli ung supot ng Macaroons sa Kadete. Grabe, hindi ako palaban or war freak na tao pero that time, gusto kong sumbatan iyong babae. Sobrang pambabastos iyong ginawa niya sa Kadete. Hindi na lang ba niya naisip na baka hindi na lang iyon kumain or baka nagtake life lang iyon para makita siya kaagad? Kasi iyong Cadet ko wala pa ‘e magkaklase naman sila.

Guys, kapag napapasubo tayo sa sitwasyon na galit na tayo, never maging option ang mambastos lalong-lalo na ng taong mahal natin sa buhay. Hindi sila perfect, hindi rin tayo perfect. Natural lang sigurong magalit, pero iyong gumawa ng eksena ay sumusobra na. Ako iyong hiyang-hiya dun sa mga Sir and Ma’am natin na ngbabantay ng Boodle Bar kasi siyempre marami na silang napa-graduate na Cadets, alam nila hirap ng Cadets araw-araw, but then, gaganunin lang sila? Hindi talaga makatarungan ang ginawa ni Ate. Sana lang, hindi na lang sana sila nagkatuluyan.. Kasi kung sakaling kaya niyang bastusin ang Military Officer na asawa niya, pano na lang siya mang-api o mang-bastos ng mga lower-ranked Officers and regular Soldiers in the future? Just my two cents. I don’t intend manira ng tao kasi hindi ko naman kilala si Ate hehe.. Naalala ko lang lahat ng ginawa niya kahit 7 years ago na iyon.

Sana magsilbing example saatin ito na kahit anong mangyari, mamahalin natin isa’t isa (ang ating own Soldier) kahit sobrang tested na iyong patience natin. After all, ang galit, lilipas iyan. Pero ang scar na dinulot mo sa isang tao dahil sa galit mo at pagpapahiya mo, mahirap iyan kalimutan. Ako nga bystander lang pero naalala ko pa lahat. Paano na lang si Cadet? 🙁 Haaays

“How they treat you is how they feel about you… Believe them.”

Read Related Article: Food We’ve Missed From The Boodle Bar

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BLOG DISCLAIMER: This is a personal blog. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner and do not represent those of people, institutions or organizations that the owner may or may not be associated with in professional or personal capacity, unless explicitly stated. The owner does not intend to change views about the PMA Cadet Corps or  Philippine Military Academy, any views or opinions are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site.

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9 Warning Signs Your Cadet Isn’t Serious About You

This is a response to our reader who wants to know if this certain Cadet is really serious about her

I’m not an advocate for busting someone or anything doing negative stuff just to prove a point, but this time, for the sake of our reader, I want to talk about this topic

I have a lot of thoughts about this, because, I know a lot of ladies who were brought to sudden heartbreak because the man they think were serious about them, were actually just fooling around.

DISCLAIMER:

I don’t intend to hurt someone, but these things are actually happening based on what my friends experienced (after interviewing some of my friends and acquaintances). If you know you have someone who loves you so much, please don’t read this. But then, if you have second thoughts about your Cadet, I hope this might help.

So here are the things you should note when you are having second thoughts:

1. He doesn’t message you regularly

Cadets do have a schedule when it’s okay to use the phone or not, they have their Schedule of Calls everyday, but during weekends, I think they have authorized time to use their phones.

First warning: If the Cadet doesn’t message you during weekends. Kunyari ‘di ka na niya minessage last week, sabihin mo nang may duty siya or something like that, then maghintay ka for next week, tapos ‘di na naman siya nag-message.

NOTE: Kung gusto ka niya talaga, kahit may duty pa iyan, magmemessage iyan sayo, gagamit ng ibang phone or magtitake life para sabihin na wag kang mag-alala kasi ok lang siya at busy lang talaga siya.

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2. He messages or calls you at the wee hours of sleep

This might sound sweet or something like that, pero isipin mo na lang, hindi ka minimessage during the weekends which is authorized na oras, tapos after TAPS (unauthorized na iyong paggamit ng phone), bigla na lang siyang tumatawag sa’yo? This will only mean one thing: Hindi nagrereply sa kaniya or hindi sinasagot tawag niya ng girl na gusto niya talaga. So second option, hanap ng ibang pwedeng makausap, mapalipas na lang iyong oras habang naghihintay kay girl. Gosh.

3. During general Priv outside PMA, he tells you he didn’t ask for priv because he has something to do

What would be that “something” ‘e kung Kadete ka, the only thing you look forward to is PRIV. Tanungin niyo sa mga Cadets na kilala niyo. Hehe Siyempre this is the only time na makaksama nila iyong love ones nila during Civis mode, o kaya sa labas ng PMA, why wouldn’t he ask for priv if pwede naman? Diba? Baka meron siyang ibang plans with other person.

4. He doesn’t invite you to occasions inside PMA

Part of being in love is showing the one you love your “natural habitat” LOL or your whereabouts, I mean kung saan ka nag-aaral, saan ka nagwowork, especially kapag merong okasyon, at pwede namang mag-invite ng bisita. Bakit aayawan niyang makasama ka kung gusto ka niya talaga?

Note: if mahal ka niyan talaga at baliw siya sa’yo, baka months or weeks before iyong events, nagsisave the date na siya sayo, para masiguradong available ka nun at makakapunta ka.

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5. He does invite you to occasions inside PMA pero ipapa-entertain ka sa iba

Sige sabihin na lang nating may duty siya, okay, understood iyon, pero bakit ka pa niya ipapa-entertain sa lower class or sa ibang classmate niya? Come to think of it, kapag gusto ka niyan talaga, bantay-sarado ka diyan. Hindi siya basta-basta mag-iintroduce ng lalaki na magiging kasama mo, unless of course, common friend niyo iyon, o kaya related sayo iyong other Cadet. Medyo nakakaiyak lang, pinapunta ka pa niya.

6. He doesn’t invite you to visit him inside “just because”

Siyempre, hindi ka na nga niya ininvite ‘pag may okasyon, do you think iinvite ka rin niya kahit walang rason? First, ayaw niyang maabala. Second, ayaw niya na makita siyang ng may kasamang ibang babae ng classmates niya, kasi, baka isumbong siya sa original girl, or the one he truly cares about.

7. Hindi ka niya ininvite sa HOP

Mas gugustuhin niyang magpaendorse kesa kasama ka. First, mawawala communication niyo, then, sasabihin niya busy siya, then,next part siya ng committee kaya hindi na lang daw niya i-prioritize na mag-invite. Girl, magtaka ka talaga. I know people na part ng hop committee, pero nandun pa rin ang mahal nila sa buhay to support them. If he is serious about you, he will not leave you behind feeling sorry for yourself kung bat hindi ka nakasama sa Hop, pero iyong ibang girl friends mo, present sila.

8. Hindi ka niya pinapakilala sa pamilya niya

Ang mga Kadete (please tell me if I am correct, sa mga Cadets na nakakabasa), kapag serious na sila sa babae, next step na ang pagpapakilala sa magulang. Wag ka nang magtanong kung pinakilala ka niya, serious ‘yan girl. Hehe Pero kapag “matagal” na kayo, nagdaan na ang mga okasyon sa PMA na pwedeng bumisita ang pamilya ng Kadete, tapos wala pa rin, sorry talaga, baka hindi iyan serious.

9. Class Crest

Hindi ko alam kung tama ito, pero para saakin, kung seryoso ang isang Kadete, hindi pa niya natatanggap iyong Class Crest niya na female counterpart, e matic na sayo mapupunta iyan. Huwag muna iyong mini ring, kasi sa Mama niya muna iyon. Hehe Pero iyong crest, I think dapat mapupunta sayo, unless hindi pa siya sigurado sayo.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS: There are a lot of things to know if someone doesn’t really like you, or is not serious about your relationship, first of all, once you’ve come to the point when you will already ask yourself, “Mahal ba talaga ako nito?” I think that’s the time you really have to know deeply. Kasi if someone loves you, you won’t ask yourself that question, because you know deep in your heart he is into you. Hindi ka mapapatanong, alam mo na lang.

But then again, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. Lagi tayong magbigay ng ganiyan, kasi ang mga Kadete, busy talaga iyan sila sa activities and regimented life inside the Academy, and you really have to be understanding. These warning signs might not be applicable to others, and sana, sana la ng, hindi ako tama. Sana seryoso siya sayo. Good luck!

 

BLOG DISCLAIMER:This is a personal blog. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner and do not represent those of people, institutions or organizations that the owner may or may not be associated with in professional or personal capacity, unless explicitly stated.The owner does not intend to change views about the PMA Cadet Corps or  Philippine Military Academy, Any views or opinions are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.

All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site.

 

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6 Things We Learned From Traveling As A Couple

“In life, it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.”

Yesterday, I posted an article (Read: The Great Take Life) regarding how my fiancé surpassed all the difficulties when he was still preparing for his visa. It was kind of crazy, but then again, after all those things he’s been through, he succeeded. He got his way to visit me here in Japan. I’m such a lucky girlfriend.

So this time I will be talking about what we learned as a couple from traveling together.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Originally, I was assigned to have my OJT in Western Japan (far from my dream places which are Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe), my place is a city but then it’s a “provincial” city. LOL So I want to see “other” beautiful places, which I haven’t seen before. This time is somewhat special because I’m with the person I love. ❤

In short, we want to go to places we’ve never been before, places we don’t know anyone. SO WE DID.

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Here are the things we learned from traveling as a couple:

#1 To Stay FOCUSED

First of all, it was our first time to visit those places. It was also our first time to travel together as a couple, outside the country, so we were very overwhelmed.

Due to excessive excitement, you might find yourself amused with all the attractions you will see, this is good, because you are only appreciating the uniqueness of the area, but then again, if you over-do it, you might miss the chance of seeing the “bigger” picture because you spend so much time on the “small” ones.

Always remind yourself that you were there to see that certain place you dreamed of seeing, just like what you’ve planned in your itinerary. STAY FOCUSED because you might be regretting the time you spent on the details, instead of seeing the real picture.

#2 To Share #3 To Be Thrifty #4 To Be Resourceful

We didn’t come there to spend all our life savings just for one trip, because we promised each other this would be the first of the many trips we will have for the rest of our lives.

We went there to experience the culture, the beauty of nature that only Japan has to offer. We went there to feed ourselves with new discoveries and fill our minds with new memories together. We were making a history. But then, this doesn’t entail that we have to be very extravagant so we learned to share, to be thrifty, and to be resourceful.

(Wizarding World of Harry Potter, taken when we were drinking a cup of Butter Beer lol)

For example we want to experience drinking Butter Beer (just like what we read in the books or saw in the movies, we wanted to know how it tastes) in Universal Studios-Wizarding World of Harry Potter, we want to try it for the experience, so instead of buying two orders, we just bought one and shared it. You might think we were depriving ourselves etc, but then if you do the math, instead of buying two drinks, why not buy one instead, so that you could buy souvenir or butter beer mugs later for the price of one order of the drink, wise, eh? 😛 (***One drink is 1,300 Japanese Yen equivalent to 585 PhP)

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Another example would be bringing bento or snacks and bottled water during a lengthy trip. Instead of spending over pricey empty-calories snacks you’ll find in convenience stores during stopover, you might want to bring your own self-made snacks/packed lunch so that you could save a few bucks and refrain from stepping out of the vehicle during a long trip. It could also save you time and a load of cash you could use for other stuff later.

#5 To Be Patient With Each Other

Yes, we might be a long-term couple but going on a trip in a foreign land really tested our patience with each other. I for one am a difficult person haha. I’m kind of obsessed with “comfort” so whatever it is that’s bugging me or making my life hard, I often send away or put off. I couldn’t do this during our trip because everything we encountered were out of our comfort zones.

Take language for example. Japan might be considered a first world country, but only a few people understand and speak English. I could speak Japanese, but sometimes, when we talk to locals, they use their dialect, which I am not familiar with, so I somehow get frustrated. Then my boyfriend will ask me what the person has just said, and I will say, “I don’t know, I can’t understand,” and normally he will say, “Anong gagawin natin, hindi ko rin naman sila maintindihan, ikaw lang marunong sa atin.” (What will we do now? I couldn’t understand them; too, you’re the only one who speaks their language.) And… the arguments will go on if he is also a short-tempered person like me… If my boyfriend is not patient with me, we will be fighting all the time. Haha. Actually, in our relationship, he is the cool one, I am always the hot one—I mean someone who gets easily irritated. But later on, I learned how to cool down and be easy going because of him.

Being out of your comfort zone will really test your guts, but that’s a part of being away from home, and learning new stuff from a new place.

When the going gets tough, remember you were there to relax and enjoy the vicinity. You were there to have vacation, haha remember to always keep your cool wherever you go, and whatever happens, make sure to choose your partner over winning an argument.

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#6 To Fall In Love All Over Again

Being in a new place will bring out all possible bright and dark attributes you were hiding inside and waiting to unleash. Hahaha Travel is a great way to know your partner from a deeper perspective, and when you do, it’s one way of assuring yourself that even though how many times they shift gears, if you really love them, you will be there to witness it, and then you will be falling in love all over again every time they find a new person inside they never knew existed.

The best things in life are the people you love, the places you’ve seen, and the memories you’ve made along the way.

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